Could someone congratulate me?
I lost my job of 14 years in 2011 when they moved out of state. I couldn't find another. I have a Masters degree in analytical chemistry but went to work at the grocery store for $10 an hour. Then, I got a job where I am now, logging in samples for other "chemists" (they have no such degrees like I do). After my mother died (had to work "part time" taking her to transfusions which meant a day off every other week but no vacation time), I became full time and eventually was moved to do entry-level chemistry where I am now. Yesterday, I found out that I would finally get to use an instrument more suited to someone with my degrees. It's a big step up. No mention of a raise (still $4 per hour below where I was 4 years ago) or more time off (I get 2 weeks now and had 4 weeks in 2011). So, this morning on my way to work, I was driving 5 miles over the speed limit, and a big white SUV goes around me, and the guy shows me his middle finger for a whole minute and was really mad when I did nothing. Then, I e-mail my brother to tell him my news, and he says I need a new job. He makes 4 times what I do, and loves to remind me what a loser I am. I told my father last night, and, per usual, he didn't respond. He is in his own world; I wonder what, if anything, he is ever thinking. Is it too much to ask to have just one person encourage me instead of ignoring me, giving me the finger, or telling me what a failure I am?
8 Comments
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- Does anyone have a great field in this set of caregiving, where they found a long term position that worked really well?
- How can I prepare NOW (I'm 63 and in good health) so I don't become a burden to my children (if I live long enough)?
- Any type of jobs or volunteer work to have my Mother (86) do?
- Who/where is the best place for me to start my planning to retire?
It would be great if your brother could be compassionate and encouraging but it is highly doubtful he will change. As others have suggested it may be best to limit contact with him and not even tell him your job news or ask him for any advice. I doubt he would put much thought into any he would give. He seems pretty wrapped up in his own life.
If you weren't sensitive you probably wouldn't be such a caring daughter. Also, I think drivers are getting ruder. If you drive within the speed limit and don't run red lights it tends to make people upset these days. That rude guy will get his payback someday. I actually had someone behind me beeping continuously at me for driving the school zone speed limit while kids were right there walking to school.
I hope you can find a kind compassionate person to be a source of encouragement in your life. They do exist. I wish you the best!! Good things are ahead of you. Keep up the awesome work that you are doing!!
As for the ONE person who gave you that highway salute, just think there were dozens more who didn't, who were respectful and polite to you.
Oh, I drive like a little old lady.... oh, wait, I am one :P I drive right at the speed limit. One strange thing I noticed, if I am using why own Jeep which is white, I tend to get major tailgaters who are trying to get me to drive faster. If I am using my sig other's Jeep, same model, dark color, dirt, dents, and chain hooks [he bought it that way, used], rarely does anyone tailgate me. Thought that was an interesting observation.
As for your Dad's lack of interest, my Dad is pretty much like that. In his generation women stayed home, they didn't go to college or had important jobs. They knew shorthand and how to type.... [sigh].
I like your work ethic. You did what you had to do to make it. And so what if your brother makes more? Sounds like he is one of those abusive types.
First, a pat on the back. A daughter taking care of a father with ALZ and trying to work any job is quite a feat.
Second, siblings who make fun of how much you make are smucks and should be paying for at least a week's vacation and coming to take your place while you go.
Lastly, it is hard for women in the science world to find the job we deserve. Hang in there!!!!
Second, as to your brother, men still make more than women do, even though we've made strides over the years. Your brother shows a lack of brotherly support; that's a reflection on him, not you. Just minimize contact with him.
One of the neighbors made about twice what I made working on the line in a factory, where he spent nearly 30 years doing the same thing over and over. I'd love to make what he did but couldn't stand the same work day after day and year after year. It's an individual choice.
Third, as to your father, as you said, he's in his own world. He may not even have registered what you were saying. Don't let it affect your opinion of yourself.
Fourth, and here's the best: CONGRATULATIONS!!! Feel good about yourself - your opinion (and of course your boss's ) is more important than someone else's. You live with yourself everyday and it's far more important that you feel good about yourself than have the blessing of someone else.
Now, what are you going to do to celebrate?