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I truly thought I was the only one that finally had the nerve to stand up and say that my mother is selfish. She had back surgery that went wrong. Wound up with an emergency ileostomy. I lost my son suddenly in between the two surgeries. I have been the one that has learned how to do everything with her ostomy. She refuses to learn. I am done. Am going home next week come Heck or High Water. She has really turned up the nasty dial this past week. I have permanent nerve damage too, but have learned to deal with it. Instead of a pedometer that clicks off how many steps you take, I wish someone would make one that clicks off how many times she tells me in a day that she hurts. Let the other one's call and she calls them baby this, baby that, how are you, even the bitch sister that stole her pain med's. So this grieving mother that has self dubbed myself pot liver in her eyes is hitting the road and going home to my husband and one living child. Pray I make it until next weekend then I am headed out of here and WILL NOT be back for a very long time. Sorry to vent but I have really had the hardest 3 days yet with her. If I hear her tell me 1 more time that I am no better with the death of my son, and she knows how I feel because she lost my father, I am going to a hotel. She has no idea how I feel. I lost my child, not my husband.
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you don't know how much better you have made me feel- my mothers is so selfish we cant even go on holiday without a backlash and nastiness when we return- and it has made me ill putting up with nasty comments- I have decided enough is enough- thank you for taking the time to write your own experience which has helped me a lot
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I thought my sister wrote this! She moved in to take care of our ailing father, and now that he's passed our mother has become the bigger pain in the ass. She spent her entire life trying to change our father and they spent their whole lives fighting. We thought his death was going to make her happy, but she's just not a happy person, so she continues to make my sister feel like an intruder. She'll go through my sister's closet and dresser drawers saying she's "looking for something." She's always been selfish, it's just getting worse with age. Thank you so much for stating what we've been feeling for so long. And keep us posted. We all need support!
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Well said, SanityFOUND. Amen. And please do keep us posted!
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I have a selfish demanding and controlling 87 year old mother who believes that I should take care of her, as she can't walk well supposedly but uses her walker but is able to walk faster when she needs to, and is going blind due to glaucoma but refuses to be seen by her doctor. I suppose she wants to be declared blind because she wants attention. She lives on her recliner day and night. I live about 70 miles away from her. I love my mother but I have my life with my husband and I'm not doing well. I stopped visiting her because she fights with me. Now my family has disowned me which I have learned to accept for my well being. I would never expect my children to take care of me later in life because I'm understanding and considerate. I did not bring my children into this world to take care of me. They have their own lives to live as they should.
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I agree with you 100% I am in your boat as right now and keep asking god to take care of things. Part of me also knows that she likes being at home, but to me ,it just doesnt work. she needs more professional care . Hugs
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Thank you & soooooo glad you have found your balance.
GOD bless & protect you & your loved ones.
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