It's become clear to me through posts and PMs that there are some gardeners here just waiting for the chance to discuss gardening!
So, I was thinking... how do you use gardening, or how does it affect you if you need a break, need some respite, need to relax, need inspiration....how do you use it as a therapy tool in caregiving?
What are your activities: Do you go out and pull weeds, read a magazine, design new beds? Look through garden catalogues? Go to garden stores?
And what interests have you added to your gardening? Visit estate or garden displays? Do you go to garden shows?
Does anyone design and plant Knot Gardens? Raised bed planters? Assistive gardens? Pollinator gardens (and have you thought of ways to help the bees and butterflies?)
Are your gardens primarily for pleasure or food, or a mix of both? Do you grow plants for medicinal purposes? Which ones, how do you harvest and process them? Any suggestions?
Do you grow plants that can be used in crafts, such as grapevines for wreaths and lavender for lavender wands? Do you make herbal products such as creams, lotions, chapstick?
What else can you share about gardening and the means in which it nurtures your soul?
I wish I could understand what happened here that made you decide to leave, and I wish you would reconsider. I hope I haven't unwittingly made you feel uncomfortable or contributed to your decision to leave.
You've made valuable contributions to this thread. Your experience is very helpful and valuable, as well as diversified.
You've demonstrated how to put trauma behind you and move ahead. And, honestly, I've admired your life - you seem to have so much freedom now, and I thought it was a healing freedom.
Please, please, reconsider leaving.
detaching with love and concern, Ashlynne.
Neither me or my chickens are "cooped up". My abuser died last fall. With a 4x4 I can go wherever I want whenever I want. So hot today my chickens have a fan on them. None of us i "cooped up".
Country life is not idyllic, it's hard work,. blood, sweat and tears but I wouldn't have it any other way. In my view and experience, get rid of your monsters in any way you can and get a life before the stress kills you.
I'm out of here ... it';s so depressing.
It was you, Ashlynne, who mentioned maybe your chickens were too stupid to get outside into the run. I was the one identifying with your chickens being cooped up, and it was me who needed to get out of the house today.
I am well aware that you have a great life, by good choices that you have made after your narcissistic mother died. You are to be an example that there is a good life after caregiving.
How did I write in such a way as anyone would misinterpret what I meant?
Very sorry to you, Ashlynne, that what I wrote was so misunderstood.
How can I make this right?
Time for a break when I must start explaining myself.
When Cruella died, after a lifetime of abuse I vowed I'd never tolerate abuse again,from anyone.
Reminds me that it is imperative to get out of the house today! Your new life sounds wonderful-there is life after caregiving!
My answer to your politician joke was in agreement with you, but was deleted.
Out of respect and admiration for others caregiving in a difficult situation, for whom the use of the words "we" and "us" causes that person distress, I will try harder not to refer to anyone as we. So sorry, sincerely, Jessebelle.
I understand, because I too had a narc mom. It makes me want to avoid anyone for whom I would have to walk on eggshells around.
I know this will last. Benefits: The ground squirrels or gophers do not lift it or eat through it. The water drains through it easily. It is cooler than heavy black plastic or black weed-block. It comes in colors-grey for river rock or pebbles; beige for beige California-gold rocks; Burnt umber/brick red for crushed volcanic rocks; and, green, if you want to just have a small space over dirt uncovered-to keep it mud free, drains water, still it looks green, but not exactly like grass. So there are the possibilities. I paid $30 for a huge roll-this sunshade product is strong and lasts! I am using leftover strips down the middle of the driveway under some decorative rocks. It saves on the amount of rocks required to cover the space because they do not sink into the dirt. Another benefit, is if you match the shadecloth fabric to your rocks-and they are very thinly covering the shadecloth-then if the rocks move to slightly show the shadecloth-it still looks okay until you sweep the rocks back over it. Everxwalk by a lanscape and that ugly black fabric is popping up? This solves that. Really saves money overall, and saves your back.
Not selling or promoting the stuff, just sharing.
I really hate the landscape (or xeriscape) filled with rocks, but had no choices left in the California drought. To think two years ago, and two former managers ago-we were not allowed rocks as decoration. Re-landscaping has ruined my budget!
But, I am happy we could do this as a solution.
Ladies: This is our first Spring in our new location. We have hundreds of lilacs here, daylilies, phlox, honeysuckles. Very aromatic here, like sitting next to an old lady doused in perfume at church. Many plants here that I can't even identify, but I'm learning one at a time. I also have a baby goose, now about 3 weeks old and growing fast, named "Lucy Goosey"