Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Needless to say, sister freaked.
Bookluver, as for a history of e-mails. I have all that too. Angry ones, sad ones, even funny ones, you name it. I sometimes think I should get them all, put them together in a book and get it published. I could name it "Caregiver's history of Family Dysfunction/Caregiving for Dummies"
re happy memories - I carry happy memories of Gordie in my head and my heart. I don't have much else left now but them and a few photos and that's ok.
I have burned journals from years ago. I think you do when you are ready. ((((hugs)))) to those wrestling with the past.
As for dad, I have my little torn out notes to his home care nurses when they visit him. It was just his health updates. The latest one was June 1, 2017. My dad passed away on 21Jul. By reading this note, I just realized that by changing dad's diet to add 2 Ensure Light to his daily meal was part of his downfall. I didn't know that Dad was lactose intolerant until he landed in the ER, dying. He had a bleeding stomach... Sometimes, reading past notes are not great at all.
I would like to just keep the happy memories. Too bad that it's all in my head, never took the time to write it down. Nor do I care to do so now. I haven't had the full blown crying my whole body for him.
You can do it Lu, when you are ready.
A new chapter for Lu is awaiting. :)
Lu,
If allowed in your county, burn barrel.
Cathartic, very therapeutic.
just curious though,how'd you dispose of them?
I was absolutely compelled to write all through caring for Mother and now,she is gone and I have a Huge box of written in journals.They include all the hospitalizations and Hospice people coming and going and what was said and all the places I took Mom,her groups,Market,garage saling,the flea markets,Museums and plays and the day she wrote her Will and discussed her funeral wishes and how I lifted and loaded her here and there and just all kinds of stuff through the years,BUT,they also include my anger,mostly because of my brother's but also my anger that Mom was dying and leaving me and ALOT of other stuff I sure wouldn't ever want anyone to read and now everyday I see this huge box,and it makes me feel bad and I don't know why,but I haven't been able to let them go.It's not good.I have lost days to reading and reliving it all and it makes my heart so heavy,SO it is something I need to face and get rid of,I just haven't .....yet..
That journaling....can become self-torture when one re-reads it. Way back when I did write, it was boring stuff, and I suffered greatly deciding whether to let it all go, shredding it.
I was afraid I would forget important things that happened to me. However, I think even when healing from events, our mind goes there. The journal kept it fresh and raw, forgetting some is healing, imo.
So good to see you are able to post on threads today, missed you, hoping your computer is better!
One that I read offered how to have fun with your narcissist, which seemed funny, but a bit revengeful, (mean and cruel actually), with laughing in the background.
I looked closer at the humorous concept however. Take notes when in the presence of the narcissist. Get various colors, using a different color notebook, bringing out the red notebook only on special occassions. This would drive them crazy?
I said to dH, maybe a narcissist should be knocked down, off their pedestal sometimes. Hmmmmm.
Hubs replied: It would help them to become more grounded in reality.
Lol. We laughed.
He is very funny, and brilliant on rare occasions. I am thinking of nominating him for an Oscar Wilde award.
I commented on his journaling, non-judgmental, no gossip, no opinions, just the facts of what he did that day. Mine would not be as pure.
I asked him if he thought journaling was helpful, then asked if he thought that I should be journaling. And what if someone finds it, and it's about them?
He said for me to use disappearing ink.
Love Shack by the B-52's.
wearing next nothing cause
it's as hot as an oven
I hated having to place the Viking in memory care too but once you've made the decision then move forward - your mom will still need you and her journey isn't over yet so no guilt
prayers for a smooth placement
Probably why I can't even remember ever weighing 118 - I got down to 123 once but that was a very long time ago
Are you sure the article didn't say "dessert" food?
Chocolate cake, cheesecake, lemon meringue pie, watermelon, ice cream, popcorn, and fritos?????
But then, I don't even own a scale.
It's natural as a believer to be angry at God when you see a loved one wracked with pain and you are a helpless bystander. I came home from that particular hospital visit doubting everything. My faith etc. But then I looked out my window at the beautiful spring flowers, the sun shining, the world in all its beauty and intricacy and thought, of course there is a God who loves us.
Don't forget God is in his Kingdom. Earth is where Satan rules temporarily. God can take away our pain or at the very least help us deal with it. Why he doesn't sometimes is a mystery but I still believe he knows what he is doing and I have to just contend with that.
I know you probably are just thinking "Oh Gershun, just shove it!" but I'll always stick up for God even though it makes me sad to hear the sadness in your post Willie. ((((Hugs))))
hope mom doesn't need a breathing treatment today and she can enjoy some food with you there
you've taken such good care of her for so many years
give yourself a treat today in celebration of being a wonderful daughter
Age is just a number, especially if quality of life is substandard. I find myself amused when the weather forecasters always say "and a Happy 103rd birthday to Hazel, Bertha, Betsy, etc. etc. " Occasionally they'll have footage of some dear old thing sitting in front of a huge cake, people standing around beaming at her. She, not so much.
Willie, if you aren't sure how to feel I think that's only natural. But all the best to your Mom irregardless. One day at a time as they say.