Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Not a narcissist, no - and I'm absolutely certain he wouldn't want me back! - but shallow. You think of people "oh they just don't show their feelings, they do care underneath." But no. There's nothing there. It's a bit repellant.
I think I will hit Delete, and look out for a newspaper obituary. I can always change my mind, pretend I've been away or something.
(((Thank you!)))
CM is an example to everyone here.
A social guru!
It is said that the best revenge is living well. If ex-SO was a narcissist, I would push delete on that e-mail and never respond. They use anything to draw you back in.
It is enough that you have suffered the loss of your pet.
If there is a legacy website or a place to add condolences to an obituary, try that, not mentioning his name.
Have a right muddle of (all bad) feelings going on here. Help me untangle them?
Email from exSO. It's more than two years since we went our separate ways; that's not a problem in itself.
But for all sorts of reasons, although I would normally stay on good terms with exes, I wanted this one gone, cleared out and gone. I wish him well; but no we are not friends. We aren't anything. You can't choose to back out of a commitment that you instigated AND pretend that nothing's changed; and I've kept contact with him to the barest possible minimum.
He emailed because his father passed away yesterday. The old man was 95. On the face of it, he was a charming and courteous WW2 veteran who merited the highest level of respect. In professional and private life he was a vain, weak fool and a menace who wrought enormous damage on his family. I would say on his business too, except that he wasn't important enough to be held responsible for some of the scandals that went on in that field of commerce when he was active in it.
His wife, exSO's stepmother, I liked very much. I don't have her address any more, I lost it in the move a couple of years back. She will be in her mid-eighties now. Should be comfortably provided for, and secure in her modern house, I believe she's fit and well. She has two sons of her own. She'll be fine. I'm sure she'll be just as fine without my thoughtful condolences.
I just don't know how to respond to this email.
I am very angry with exSO about the dog. To explain: we got the dog six years ago. I didn't want to get a dog - mother was beginning to need a lot of care, I didn't think it was sensible to add more responsibilities; and so, not that I minded being talked round, getting the dog was exSO's idea.
Then two years ago, when we were splitting up and moving and after mother had died and it wasn't convenient any more, he didn't want the dog. He would, seriously, have returned this ten year old rescue dog to kennels. Frankly, I could have stabbed him. So all in all, I didn't bother to let him know that I had the dog put to sleep two weeks ago.
That's him all over. Think of a plan, talk other people into it, and then go off the idea and back out leaving them with the commitment.
I suppose I'm not sure I don't still want to stab him. Or at least smack him round the head.
"Sorry your father's dead. Btw so's the dog."
The dog's more of a loss to humanity, if I'm really honest about how I feel.
I am not evil, I am sore.
I am sorry that an elderly man who served his country in time of war has passed away.
I don't know what to say to exSO. I don't CARE how he feels. He doesn't deserve to have his feelings cared about.
I am upset and angry.
Guess I am going to try the ribs with my gerd. Really, I already have them here, cooked by the store, and it's what's for breakfast now!
Your story was shared by others on here. Is the NH having these events as some kind of a fundraiser or donation event, maybe a promotional for the NH?
You are so kind to be concerned about all those residents! It seems like no one has any common sense any more.
This comes under: "Follow the money" as another motivation.
So glad you were there for your Mom that day. The mind boggles at what would have happened.
I mean, who comes up with these bright ideas? I expect they sound great in committee, and look super on the brochures, but when it comes to thinking through the logistics and fitting those in with routine... It's as though people are either on the sunny side up side or the grim reality side, and they so rarely bump into one another.
Then you've got the event organiser who'll have put her little heart and soul into the day and will be running round wanting everyone to have a super time. How do you break it to her?!
The staff are either knackered trying to keep up through the disruption or treating it as basically a day off but at work, and think they don't actually need to be doing the routine chores.
And for the residents... well, it's just never going to live up to the balmy summer days of youth, is it. And speaking as a person who associates picnics and bbq's solely with wasps and bad food, being forced to take my dinner with sunburn and nothing to drink - I'd rather sit in my room and have nothing to eat or drink, thanks.
But everyone so WANTS it to work! The only event like this I can genuinely say I really enjoyed was run by the army. I think that's probably what it takes.
edit - I eventually joined the line up with mom and did manage to get myself a hamburger😕
My iPad is a different story. I think I will need to download an Audible app. Never mind. I have the Kindle for that. The iPad's Amazon App is great! Better than the Kindles Library. When I'm searching for a certain book, I use the iPad to quickly find it. It has on the right side of the tablet an "A - Z' tabs! Whereas the Kindle, you have to scroll and scroll from A to finally reaching M.
Sigh.
I'm sure it isn't difficult to work out how to use it.
I just haven't been able to face the mandatory swearing at the computer for fifteen minutes before I get the hang of it.
I have found an ebook that was free and it's Audio book for $1.99. I couldn't get into reading the book. So, I decided to just Listen to the audio book while I was doing my house chores. Wow! I got hooked into the story. When it was done, I tried to go back to reading the book. I just couldn't get into it. I turned on the audio, and I liked it.
Does your library have audio books? Maybe, you can try that option. But I'd try for a lighthearted, humorous story. I find that I laugh more from an audio book than from reading it.
I have no problems with ribs. I'm a very picky eater. My family thinks I'm weird when I eat chicken/meat and take off the skin/fats. I avoid fried food because it makes my stomach queasy. I avoid greasy/oily looking food - same reason. When I attend parties or restaurant buffets, I'm down to very few food that I can eat - NO oily, greasy, sweet, sour (acidic bad for GERD), fried, white cream sauces (dairy), Italian sauces, seafoods, etc... So, that $30.00 buffet meal, I only have white rice (not fried), that dry meat (overheated), and salad. Oh! In a recent hotel restaurant sis treated me to, they had clam salad! It looked gross but I recall loving canned clam as a child. So, I tried it and had my Benadryl ready in case I had an allergic reaction. Yum!!!! Sis heard me humming. She asked me what I was eating. She saw it but … she thought it looked unappetizing. I just try not to look at it too hard because it is kind of icky looking.
There was a Robert Ludlum hardback, must have been my father's. Thought I'd give it a go. Good grief. The kids expressed an interest - "isn't he the one who wrote The Bourne Trilogy?" - and now I would not be at all surprised to have that confirmed. Just like the films: utter bunkum, start to finish, adolescent action fantasy scenes strung together on the feeblest plot imaginable. That's a couple of hours I'll never get back.
So The Matlock Paper went in the charity bin, and I turned to "Guppies For Tea", sounds more promising.
Chapter 1. An elderly wheelchair bound lady is having a fight with a Nurse Ratchet figure in a care facility...
Urrrggghhhhhhhh..!
Yes, everyone seems crabby these days. Myself included.
Book, keep reading. I find that's the only escape I get these days is my head in a good book.
At least it accepts my posts.
Instead of encouraging Job to keep his faith, endure the trials, she and his friends gave bad advice.
Your normal may not look like anyone else's idea of normal, Book. That is what makes you special and unique. I hope you can get comfortable soon, less stress, and encouragement to keep on trying.
How are your eyes? Too much reading can cause headaches.
Are the Mangoes ripe? Ripe mangoes make an allergy to mangoes worse, causing headaches.
How is your gerd? If you disrespect your limitations with food that causes the gerd to act up, like ribs, that too can turn into headaches.
I understand each and every behavior you are going through is an attempt to alleviate
this stress you are under. I often do some of the same things. Especially not wanting to talk to an extra friendly waitress. She was out of line a bit, don'tcha think?
However, did you miss an opportunity to meet a new person, anything is possible, as I believe God or some believe the universe sends us what we need. The fact that you took notice of her impertinance means something. Or, it may just be we are all grouchy lately, I know I am. Rarely get to post with internet issues.
Will it help to talk about it, hiding out here on the General Topics thread?
When it comes to books, I don't care how many weeks they have been best sellers or how glowing the reviews, if I can't get into it by the 3rd chapter or so I'm done - it's supposed to be entertainment, not torture!
I had downloaded a book series and I was struggling with reading it. I didn't like most of the characters from the beginning in book 1. Yet, I was determined to read the rest of the series. By book 6 1/2 - I found myself hating the whole book, the author, All the characters. I decided it was time to stop reading this author's books. I wrote on my Book List to never buy her books. After that, I decided to go back to reading my paperback books. I have 2 large plastic containers of unread books. It's weird to go out in public reading a paperback book while everyone is using their smart phones/tablets. One young lady kept staring at me and the book...
Feeling down, I decided to treat myself to lunch at Chili's. I was craving their half rack of ribs and fries, which is on sale from $15 to $10. It was 3pm. The server was way too friendly. She sat across from me to get my order. And while I was reading my book and eating my food, she stopped twice to ask me how I'm doing. Ugh!! Just Leave Me Alone!!! It's soooo obvious that I was into my book (head was leaning forward - action pack with the vamp and new mage fighting the evil vamps...) She made me lose my concentration (on the fighting.) Her friendliness was way toooo friendly, that it was off-putting... I think next time I'm craving half-rack ribs, I will go to Tony Roma's.
cwillie - ah there you are. I would ask for numbers. What you describe doesn't sound very appetizing, Ontario realy going through it politically.
gershun -I am with you I rarely vote.. It gives me the right to not complain lol
I hate to admit it but I rarely vote and if I did I think I'd get someone to blindfold me, twirl me around and I'd pin the tail on the closest a**, I mean candidate. :P
I just got back from voting in our provincial election. This is the worst most stressful decision ever, it's like having to choose between cutting out your brain or cutting out your heart.
They tell me her weight is stable but I haven't heard any numbers, last I heard she was 115lbs (at 5'7"). I can't imagine how skeletal the folks from other forum threads must be who weigh under 90 lbs.