Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Her first instinct, every single time she talks to him or even thinks of him is to give him money. Usually because "he is hungry" or needs heat or needs....
He has never worked. He sponges off of her constantly. She will tell me to send him a chack. I ask her "how much?" and she will usually tell me something like "$100".
So, I then ask her how long a hundred dollars will solve his problems. Her answer varies but is often in the range of one week.
I then tell her that the other boys are struggling equally. Should she give them $100 also? That is $300 per week. Times 52 weeks a year, that would be almost $16,000 a year. She has usually tuned me out by this point in the conversation and I manage to just ignore her request to send money.
Mom has been with me since March 2015 and he has visited once, on mothers day 2015. He lives an hour away and has no job or family or any other obligations keeping him.
He has never initiated a phone call to see how she is doing or to tell her he loves her or anything.
My comment to him - if I ever planned on speaking to him again - would be "cat's are free at the shelter". No, actually I wouldn't say that. I would say that you should not have a pet unless you can afford to care for it.
I am a cat lover, so I admit to a certain amount of bias, but more importantly your mother's right - it is her money, and there's nothing inherently dotty or irrational about wanting to help your child pay a bill if he's struggling. Also, it kind of bolsters the case for her choosing to pay this bill for him if you suspect she knew exactly what the charge was all about. Rational as you like, even if a dangerous precedent.
But you can't have wild credit cards roaming all over the place. If your brother still has it, ask him for it back; if it doesn't come back pronto, cancel it.
To cheer you up, I'll pass on the advice my best friend's husband gave her when her two Burmese got cat 'flu because she didn't believe in vaccinations and they ended up in intensive care at £100 a night: "Get New Cats."
$230 charge came in. I confronted Mom and she pretended not to know anything about it but gave enough information that it was clear that she knew exactly what she did.
So, now I am stalking #1 loser brother on facebook and I see where the problem was not solved and there are possibly more expensive tests in the cat's future.
So now I must either
a) call him and threaten him if he uses the card again
b) cancel the card so he can't use it
c) get over it and resign myself to the fact that she is willing to give him all of her money just to keep him happy.
Really, don't think he does this on purpose, does he?
So glad that you enjoyed the poem.
I am enjoying this new thread!
Got my armor on and it's really heavy!
If one gets cancer, as you know, the treatment results in loss of weight, so a little added weight is needed. Anyone agree with this theory?
Guess we just widen over time. Menopause is so wonderful to us :P My Mom widen, even weighing 95 lbs she wore size 12 slacks and size 36 or Medium tops.
It usually gets me when someone on TV chimes in saying they wear size 2... yeah, right, in their dreams... no way. Can't understand why society makes the size of what someone wears so important? Looking like Twiggy can't be that healthy.
Or maybe my winter clothes shrank over the summer?
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.
Author: Veronica Shoffstall
It felt good to drag that heavy trash bag up the stairs !!
Some of those cleaners were from my late parent's house back when I was emptying it. And from Dad's Assisted Living. My parents were the type that would add some water to a cleaner to get a half dozen more cleanings from a bottle :) Hey, I do that on liquid detergent for clothes.
..but I'm not dead yet - in fact I feel like dancing
Oh cwillie....The '69 version with Peggy Lee is the best!
Now you have made me think of Frank's"Send in the Clowns"......
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing.
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is...
Serious reply: consult among other families and see if you can't reach a broad consensus.