Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Thanks, Golden. I will say "I am a Viking warrior" to myself in the mirror every time I think of it today! Thanks for the reminder.
Out of here tomorrow! Check out is 10 so I won't be at the office at all as I will have the cat in the car. Another nice weekend at home. It kind of happened in stages. Last weekend I decided i.would go home for weekends, then the mattress that made remaining here impossible. Then to home Wednesday and back on Monday. I might feel like trying to get out of here today. We will see. This week has been STRESSFUL!
Add to that a meeting yesterday where the existing staff and consultants to the town just had no idea they were spewing incorrect information to an applicant. Applicant got so loud the administrator stepped into the meeting because consultant and applicant were trying to yell over each other. All good.
meanwhile, some quotes:
“It’s better to walk away than to tolerate nonsense.”
“I want answers. Tickle him until he talks.”
“There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some point, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity.”
“Always remember: Money isn’t everything. But make sure you’ve made a lot of it before talking such nonsense.”
I do admit, some of the story lines are interesting with a lot of good answers. Yet it does take our time away from those writers who really need our suggestions.
And it’s related to the “gossip” thread. I now opened that thread, to see if my hunch was right.
I wish everyone a good afternoon.
And I hope it all gets resolved well.
We all have such different tastes in what’s useful to read. I read a lot of posts - suddenly some topic I never thought would interest me, hides a gem.
But which threads are you warning us to stay away from? If you mention 1, it can help us figure it out.
there's something strange about all the suffering we go through...
and the troubles we see our elderly LOs go through...
illness...suffering...
but --- i bet it all makes sense somehow.
life is beautiful.
and if we lived forever??? terrible. just think of how much destruction human beings do, with their life-span already.
and if we never had ill health??? although we don't like to admit, i think we would never appreciate good health.
what's the value in appreciation?
in death existing?
...some people believe "life is a test".
...some people have various religious, or non-religious beliefs, on how this all makes sense, or not.
(this = life/suffering/etc.)
hugs from me!!!!
and courage.
i bet, it all somehow makes sense.
today i thought about “survivor’s guilt”. I think it might apply to some of us.
i mean this:
since we’re kind/empathetic, we can feel very depressed/sad for our frail/elderly LOs who’re having a very hard time.
this depression, in turn, might lead to your own self-neglect, self-sabotage, self-defeating behavior.
in other words, kind of like “survivor’s guilt”. some people might feel (they shouldn’t) “guilt”, for being so healthy/full life ahead, while their elderly LOs are sick.
because of this (incorrect) “guilty” feeling, you might not take good care of yourself; almost punishing yourself; almost on purpose making yourself sick, so that you too are sick; “now it’s more balanced” (both you and your elderly LOs are suffering).
i’m absolutely not suggesting everyone (who is empathetic/kind to their elderly LOs) is doing this.
i think some people may be doing this. a kind of self-sabotage: like “i won’t allow myself to be happy, since my elderly parents are so unhappy, suffering.”
BUT:
i think it’s very important to keep in mind:
that (although there are exceptions, of course!), many of our elderly LOs had a FULL, GREAT life.
give yourself permission to be happy, blossom, live a full life, even if your elderly LOs are suffering.
hug!!!!
snowing right now…1st day of spring.
i’m wrapped up in warm blankets.
goodnight everyone :)
brrrrr.
bundle of joy :)
FLANDERS & SWANN
A Song Of The Weather Lyrics
January brings the snow, Makes your feet and fingers glow.
February's ice and sleet, Freeze the toes right off your feet.
Welcome, March, with wint'ry wind, Would thou were not so unkind.
April brings the sweet spring showers, On and on for hours and hours.
Farmers fear unkindly May, Frost by night and hail by day.
June just rains and never stops, Thirty days and spoils the crops.
In July the sun is hot, Is it shining? No it's not!
August, cold and dank and wet, Brings more rain than any yet.
Bleak September's mist and mud, Is enough to chill the blood.
Then October adds a gale, Wind and slush and rain and hail.
Dark November brings the fog, Should not do it to a dog.
Freezing wet December, then... Bloody January again!
my message down below (typo, i wrote “deceasing stress”).
but i meant of course:
“decreasing stress, being doubly kind to yourself”.
:)
1st day of spring! :)
i did a lot of spring cleaning (literally + metaphorically (my mind/etc.)).
———
here, spring still means lots of snow…
me:
will it be hold, cold, sunny or rainy today?
spring:
yes.
“deceasing stress”
typo. i hadn’t noticed.
but - that’s even better:
go kill stress! :)
Thanks for mentioning the car insurance again. I am going to need to look into mine even closer now. Because they sent a letter, saying the Mileage Report form was enclosed, but it wasn't. Costco has another carrier, and they never asked me what the mileage was. Still waiting for the form.
Most insurance companies prior to this have asked. But now they ask me to estimate mileage per year. Well, how are they going to prove (ie: the value of my car by mileage used over the years) if they have no record of documented mileage since 2015?
When I had the oil changed, the mechanic put down the wrong mileage. I was using this to estimate my yearly mileage used. Oops.
'found that I wayyy overpaid car insurance for the last two years."
It's interesting that you discovered that. I did as well, once the fog of caregiving began to lift and I had more time to assess various aspects of my life.
Some years ago I found really good insurance agent; we got along well, she was helpful in recommending carriers, one of whom was, as she put it, partial to seniors. Prices were right, I switched carriers.
Over the years and a few what I considered claims (which were denied), I began to rethink the value of this carrier. Moving forward and checking other carriers, I found a cheaper, more reasonable carrier. So I switched, on the last day before the current insurance expired as I didn't feel like going through explanations on why I had no confidence any more in the carrier she selected.
Called at an odd time and left a message. When she returned the call, of course wanting to talk me out of switching, she also mentioned that she had several other carriers with good prices. So why didn't she mention that before I switched? I never called her back.
Just an observation: if someone tells you that a certain carrier is partial to seniors, still do all your comparison checking, but think seriously about whether or not this advice is really true.