In reading posts today I again saw where a grandchild has moved in with a grandparent to care for them. Where are the parents/children in all this? Grandchildren should be able to concentrate on their lives. Quitting jobs so no benefits or contributing to their SS for the future. And believe me 40 yrs goes by faster than you think. I don't feel that adult children should be made responsible financially for parents or have to live with the 24/7 to caring for them. But I do feel they have a responsibility to see a parent gets the proper care. Either setting something up in the home or seeing they are safe in an AL or NH. I feel there should be something between a POA and guardianship when it's deemed someone can no longer stay in their own home. So these caregivers with stubborn parents have another avenue. But to have a grandchild take on this responsibility just doesn't seem right.
Although i live with my mom and do as much as i can for her (shes physically in pretty good shape) she rarely has a nice word to say to me. She was abusive to me as a child and shes still abusive. This place has been a place where i can see that im not alone. I think alot of others probably feel the same.
She resented that she couldn't be with her friends in the afternoon during her high school years. She resented that she had to go to a local university which cost her twice as much as a smaller college that she really wanted to attend that was elsewhere in the State.
I didn't know her Dad during that time frame, so I am only going by what she had told me. Now that she is 40, she is still an unhappy camper. She loved her grandparents dearly, but thought her parents should have been there instead of her. Her parents did help during the final weeks.
I think I was younger and didn't know better. But after 13 years it just wore me down. After she passed, I had resentment as well. It was magnified because I felt she took time away from my own father who needed me too. My father (his ex mother in law) who didn't even like her.