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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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COSTCO DOCTOR!! One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample, and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - a lot cheaper than a doctor. So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco" That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant -- Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. “Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price,” said the older man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”
The salesman got red in the face, took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. “Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man… “There you go, Poppa,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price….”
“See you later, Daddy, and Happy Anniversary.” _______________________________________ One of the few reasons having a daughter is better than a son.
How are all the beautiful caregivers doing? Our family is doing great and I hope the jokes are bringing a little light into your lives ok? I haven't heard to many good ones of late but try to post a couple of old ones. Hugs to all. luvCuz
Hang in there Jen. Boy, I'm starting to feel the same about my mother. She is critical of everything. Barely gets out of her recliner, everything is such a struggle with her. At least my sister helps out, that really gives me a break. And I know people are going to say, try to remember she's your mother, and your supposed to love her. It's hard, my mother has always been self centered and mean. If anything she is less crazy in her 80's than she's ever been.
Thanks cuz and meanwhile. It is what it is only less so. He is moving toward bed ridden, but who knows. And no one can shame me with he's your grandfather. I cleaned up the porn and feed and cleaned up after him enduring years of perverted looks and comments! Oh and for fifty dollars a month. mm. cuz is bobbie doing O.K.?
I haven't talked to her in quite awhile but as far as I know she is doing alright. Just probably busy with the start of summer and everyone trying to get boats in the water etc. Thanks for asking though because even thoughts count now days. Hugs luvCuz.
Visiting my mom and me finding a poop filled pull-up when I took her to the bathroom to pee, having to run out and get help to clean her up. ...Writing this now it seems so trivial... I guess whats bothering me is that I cannot recall the visit, just the poop :(
It's just hard taking care of an adult, that's now more like a infant. And, it's not like taking care of an infant. They are not only bigger, but often much more disagreeable. I'm sure a lot of it is frustration, with not being able to do things they used to do. Doesn't make it an easy stage of life.
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is...... I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the golfer. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
"That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have Brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampers", while undergarmets for old people are called "Depends". Well here is the lowdown on the whole thing. When Babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper'em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who is in the will! Glad I got that straightened out so you
Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: Are you the owner?" pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds" Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!" Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?" Pharmacist: "We sure do." Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob: "Adult diapers?" Pharmacist: "Sure, how can I help you? Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
thinking of you all , jsomebody im so sorry for what youre dealing with and now selling the house what the hell ! where will you and ur mom go ? i am doing ok , hubby is fine . labor day weekend here . hope you all get to enjoy it , am sick to my stomach about texas , and heard about the nursing home situations , not good ! meanwhile and cuz ,, sending you cyber hugs xoxo
Hey Lindaheart. Still alive here, covered in smoke. Forest fires and wild fires, still, I won't trade with Houston though that is awful. life changing awful. Like New Orleans I bet there are people there who don't come back. If we sell the house we will move into an apartment and hope the proceeds last longer than he does...I have never lived in an apartment, still better than homeless, which might come if he does live longer than the proceeds... (96 now, why?) grandma has been gone ten years now. And it feels like it. Hope you are doing O.K. there....Love Jen
oh i hope the fires are put out for good . last year the tennesee were in flames . horrible !! i need to go t o the store and stock up on food , hurricanes heading for florida , worried about my brother and his families , prayers for the whole usa ,, i used to live in apartment for 8 yeARS , WASNT BAD at all , good neighbors good people . some apartment has sh*&y ass people and punks , hope you and mom find a good place .. love you all and hugs !! blessing caregivers .. oh i dreamt about my pa , i forgot all about him and left him in bed soiled and hungry ! lord ! i think i dream that cuz of texas nursing homes leaving old people in bed and wheelchair while the water rise and drowned them .... bad news and gawd awful dream , i woke up and said oh dad you know i would never forget you and your sausage and gravy , wink ,,, i hope he s eating well up at the golden gate ,, xoxo
linda I have emailed bobbie but haven't heard back. She is probably busy moving boats inland away from the storm surge. If I hear from her I will keep everyone on the thread up on what I find out. I know my youngest has a home just north of Fort Meyers on I believe Pinebay Island but the live here in Michigan. They have hurricane insurance but still doesn't help with what you loose. Thanks for wondering about bobbie. Hugs your way LuvCuz
sorry no jokes but just wondering how everybody is doing. We are just very wet here in Michigan. Over 5 1/2" of rain so far. Basement is wet but fans and towels are drying it up. Hugs to all luvCuz
He's not dead. Money is gone in January and the lawyer will do the paper work to get him on Medicaid. Mom doesn't want to move in winter, so who knows. lawyer asked does he look like he is close to dying? Bud, he's been "dying" for ten years... Only dead is dead. My new catch all phrase. Is Bobbie doing O.K. Saw Michigan might be getting early snow....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample, and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - a lot cheaper than a doctor.
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco"
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant -- Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. “Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price,” said the older man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”
The salesman got red in the face, took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. “Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man… “There you go, Poppa,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price….”
“See you later, Daddy, and Happy Anniversary.”
_______________________________________
One of the few reasons having a daughter is better than a son.
luvCuz
Nice hearing from you also meanwhile. Hugs to all.
luvCuz
It is what it is only less so. He is moving toward bed ridden, but who knows. And no one can shame me with he's your grandfather. I cleaned up the porn and feed and cleaned up after him enduring years of perverted looks and comments! Oh and for fifty dollars a month. mm.
cuz is bobbie doing O.K.?
luvCuz.
I guess whats bothering me is that I cannot recall the visit, just the poop :(
LuvCuz.
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"
"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is...... I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the golfer. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
"That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.
I know you have been laying awake at
night wondering why baby diapers have
Brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies",
and "Pampers", while
undergarmets for old people are
called "Depends".
Well here is the lowdown on the
whole thing.
When Babies crap in their pants, people
are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and
Pamper'em. When old people crap in
their pants,
it "Depends" on who is in the will!
Glad I got that straightened out so you
Can Rest Your Mind
Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: Are you the owner?"
pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds"
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories and medicine for impotence?"
Pharmacist: "You bet!"
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: "Sure, how can I help you?
Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."
luvCuz
i am doing ok , hubby is fine . labor day weekend here . hope you all get to enjoy it , am sick to my stomach about texas , and heard about the nursing home situations , not good !
meanwhile and cuz ,, sending you cyber hugs xoxo
i used to live in apartment for 8 yeARS , WASNT BAD at all , good neighbors good people . some apartment has sh*&y ass people and punks , hope you and mom find a good place .. love you all and hugs !! blessing caregivers .. oh i dreamt about my pa , i forgot all about him and left him in bed soiled and hungry ! lord ! i think i dream that cuz of texas nursing homes leaving old people in bed and wheelchair while the water rise and drowned them .... bad news and gawd awful dream , i woke up and said oh dad you know i would never forget you and your sausage and gravy , wink ,,, i hope he s eating well up at the golden gate ,, xoxo
LuvCuz
Hugs to all
luvCuz
Is Bobbie doing O.K.
Saw Michigan might be getting early snow....