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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Karen, what you're seeing is NOT normal. If ppl are wetting the floor during meals, and you're getting grossed out regularly, the staff does NOT have things under control the way the should. I speak from experience. My mom has been in a dementia unit for a little over 3 years. They are NOT supposed to leave ppl to their own broken devices.
Thanks! I have no idea what is normal and what is not normal. It was the only time I have seen that happen. What about on the weekends when there is different staff? This past weekend, I found dirty gloves thrown on my Dad’s floor two days in a row.
This is something I found on my Facebook by Incredible and would like to share it with you past caregivers and present caregivers.
To My Mother and Father
I wanted to call you today to say I love you. But your old number is no longer in service. I tried the operator and she said " sorry I have no number for you". I tried your house, but you don't live there anymore. The post office has no forwarding address. I guess heaven is to far away. I Love You, I Miss You. You are in my heart always and forever. Merry Christmas to all those in heaven.
Share in remembrance of loved ones gone but not forgotten.
My poor Mom got sick vomiting. While I have sympathy for her, I am so grossed out. She did not get sick in the disposable container I gave her when she first felt nauseous. Instead, she got sick in my kitchen sink and used the scrubber to push it down the drain. She put her dentures on the counter filled with vomit. Thank goodness for bleach.
eating chicken wings by sticking entire thing in mouth and then spitting out naked bone - not even the cartilage , onto the plate in restaurant.- Spitooo! ... i am wondering if dementia is starting with this guy...
Jennifer, a manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."
"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And, now you sir," she asked the second man.
"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
???Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?? for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man "It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.
Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question. Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants."
Ernest is the new greeter at the Walmart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.
Got one for you....was visiting Mom and Dad at AL, he needed urinal, I gave it to him and turned back so he could have privacy...turned back around just in time to see him bring it to his lips, but grabbed it in time. (he has Alzheimer's) Think he thought it was a beer stein....
Popping in to say hello. It has been a long time but I still think fondly of everyone here! Keep your spirits up and your hearts light, you are unsung everyday heroes. I saw Jsomebody and Bobbie is still here *waves* Love you guys, you kept me sane.
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom and Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"
Talked to my cousin Captain Bobbie tonight and she is doing good. She has been still trying to gain strength back from her bout with C-Diff. She has been real busy trying to catch up from being so sick but she still checks on the site when she has time. Hugs to all. luvCuz
Hey Bobbie, Cuz, Jsomebody & the rest of the Crew! Peach here, from way back in the thread. Wanted to check in & say HI! Update: Larry's been gone for almost a year...Feb. 13. Miss his like crazy! Hope all are well & Bobbie you're feeling better!!! Would love to catch up. Sent you a private message. Love & hugs to all!
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He waIked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."
Update on what is going on around here. My brother is in rehab now after being in hospital for over a week. He went in with bad gall bladder but his heart is to weak for surgery so they just stuck an IV tube into the gall bladder and drained it into a bag which he will have to wear until they think he might be able to withstand the surgery. He is doing ok but they had him off his pee pills for over 5 days so he blew up like a pig with all the water weight. 310#. He is back on the pills now and the weight is starting to drop but it will be a long process. Hugs to all. luvCuz
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely, I can't look that old? ((Class Reunions))
My name is Alice, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his DDS Diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my school class some 40 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then?
Upon seeing him, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man, with the deeply lined face, was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
“Yes”, he said. “I am a Mustang” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered “in 1967. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class”, I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely, then this ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, gray-haired, decrepit, SOB asked me
I found my wife's BM in the bath tub today. No idea why she did her business there. Good excuse to clean the tub since she does not bathe in it, but I do.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down...... The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "Do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $200 for your trouble” "I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $200 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!" "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
I like reading the jokes on here. I just saw a funny Facebook meme that said, "I'm not giving the kids a timeout, I'm giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner and being ignored sounds heavenly." Lol how many of us can relate??
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To My Mother and Father
I wanted to call you today to say I love you.
But your old number is no longer in service.
I tried the operator and she said " sorry I
have no number for you".
I tried your house, but you don't live there
anymore. The post office has no forwarding address.
I guess heaven is to far away.
I Love You, I Miss You. You are in my heart always
and forever.
Merry Christmas to all those in heaven.
Share in remembrance of loved ones gone
but not forgotten.
Hugs top all
luvCuz
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
The first man replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning."
"That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And, now you sir," she asked the second man.
"Hmmm... let me see... A BLINK! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
???Excellent!" said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?? for speed." She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man "It's hard to beat the speed of light," she said.
Turning to Ernest, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.
Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT?" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure," said Ernest. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants."
Ernest is the new greeter at the Walmart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.
luvCuz
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
luvCuz
The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes.
The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes.
But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
luvCuz
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He waIked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."
luvCuz
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely, I can't look that old? ((Class Reunions))
My name is Alice, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his DDS Diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my school class some 40 years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then?
Upon seeing him, I quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, gray-haired man, with the deeply lined face, was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
“Yes”, he said. “I am a Mustang” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered “in 1967. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class”, I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely, then this ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, gray-haired, decrepit, SOB asked me
“What did you teach?”
HUGS
The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "Do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo.
They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $200 for your trouble”
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $200 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
luvCuz