
I love New Years. I go to bed early, so it isn't about the fireworks, but it's the week I clean out the old (I am running out of things to put on the curb now I have so drastically downsized). It's a fun week for me. As to resolutions: I do them half-heartedly and usually fail. Here are mine.1. Be more kind to N. My partner's a political junkie, and comes to me with story after story. I HATE politics and avoid them like a plague, so I stop him short almost every time; I beg, I plead. And still I cannot stop him. Instead I will endeavor to just listen more this year. He pleads "I have no one ELSE to TELL" (which is untrue: He tells his oldest daughter, then his youngest, then his grandson and then his best friends at a weekly lunch. Still. I must be more kind.)2. Be more kind in general. I am abrupt. I call it honest. But one member here suggested that I am like the abusing husband who claims "I did it for her own good"; and she had a REAL POINT there.3. Proofread my posts. I won't. And whether it's age or inability, re-reading posts has proven an embarrassment. This is the single resolution I am CERTAIN to fail.4. Try to let go of worry. Ha. Yeah. THAT'S likely to happen.
But...........worrying really doesn't do anything except make you
mentally and physically ill. So, yeah, gonna try to stop that.
I worry I won't be able to. LOL
If health is there, then I know you all to be capable of handling everything else.
I so appreciate this Forum and all here. I love the diversity of your wisdom and I appreciate the INDIVIDUALITY of your advice, your hearts, your minds. I am so very fond of you all.
I resolve to make no resolutions or new rules to follow.
I will make no rules for others, and no rules for me.
Life already has enough rules and regulations.
Happy New Year everyone!
May 2025 be the year that sets you free!
I am in a much better place than I was in Dec 2023 and have learned a lot. There is more improvement to do, but its nice to reflect on the progress and learnings of the past year!
Best wishes to all for a good 2025!
When I quit drinking I allowed myself the comfort of alcohol-free Martini (I called it my "Methadini"), and at first I really, really needed it to calm down at wine-o'-clock (I should add as a warning that I never was a full-blown alcoholic in the sense of having been physically dependent, otherwise this method could have turned out rather badly!!!). About a month in I increasingly forgot about the substitute and since then have not used it anymore.
@ lealonnie
Your vaping-method might work similarly like "Methadini". Maybe I'll try it, thank you so much!
@Anxietynacy
I had to google/translate "cream of tartar". Did you mix it with the orange juice, or take it dry? Sounds very interesting, and even if it should just be a placebo any help is welcome!
Wishing you all a peaceful New Year's Eve and a healthy & joyful 2025!
I do know my grandmother's estate will be taken care of in the New Year. Assuming probate ends in early February, mom can proceed with tending to her bank accounts. Mine and my mom's names will go on her bank accounts. My mom's name is already on the checking accounts and the plan is to take off my grandmother's name and put my name on them. I'm hoping that isn't too long or complicated a process. Every bank account but one is out of state.
Having my name on the accounts would give me leverage over my mom. If the PT window is closed and it's too late, the money could be used to pay for the NH.
I'm hoping I can avoid doing any of my mom's laundry on New Year's Day. It's considered unlucky and I had to do it to start this year and last yr. Last year was hard and while this year was an improvement, though that perspective has kinda shifted in recent days, it was despite losing my favorite aunt and grandmother. I'm superstitious, but she isn't.
I love your no3 and then 5.
Allow me to quote you because this should apply to every caregiver:
Enjoying everything good that life will offer without the slightest feeling of guilt. I deserve it.
No more guilt please!
Giving myself the freedom to reinvent myself and not giving a flying f... what other people think about it. I deserve it.
I think everyone post caregiving should reinvent, restart their lives. We owe to ourselves to do it and not giving a flying f.. is a bonus. Why should we?
I took up vaping temporarily. Yes, I know it's no good to vape either, but it feels exactly like smoking. I bought the vape juice with the high nicotine content at first, then cut it down by half, then I threw the vape pen away and bought nicotine lozenges in cinnamon at Walgreens. I cut the full 1mg tablets in half. Then in quarters, then stopped using them altogether and I was RID of the entire habit of smoking and nicotine reliance! That was a decade ago and I've never picked up another cigarette or vape again.
I couldn't do it cold turkey and stick with it, so I did it unconventionally.......but I DID it!
Good luck.
Hugs to you, and wish me luck for giving up smoking.
All the best
Unkraut
2. ... to celebrate my strength for having followed through and the opportunity to integrate the concept of mortality into my own life.
3. Enjoying everything good that life will offer without the slightest feeling of guilt. I deserve it.
4. After having quit drinking as a coping strategy in 2024 I want to do the same with cigarettes in 2025. I deserve it.
5. Giving myself the freedom to reinvent myself and not giving a flying f... what other people think about it. I deserve it.
Hugs and best wishes to you all, and may your hopes come true!
2. get a job in education that is not teaching
3. Quit overthinking and worrying so much
My resolution is to somehow learn to stop agonizing over my choices and to make peace with why I made them. Was my timing right? Is the facility right? Did I fail him in his time of need? What’s wrong with me that I gave up so easily? I know I did not cause my husband’s disease but I am ashamed that my inner Super-woman seems to have taken a powder when I really need her.
You are allowed to mourn it.
You just aren't allowed to take the responsibility for what he has, because you didn't cause and can't fix it.
It's worth grieving over. If this isn't, then nothing is. Allow yourself to feel the sadness without making the disease somehow your fault.