I’m so upset! I finally decided to move mom into assisted living and now this!

I STILL FEEL AS I DID EARLIER, your mother should not have to go in a strange place by herself. Those places need to get their act together. I don't care if someone interviewed them or not, they need to be more responsible. If the staff is coming in and out, they are more apt to bring in COVID than anyone else. I believe if you show that you have been tested for COVID and its negative and you wear protective gear, then for a few hours with little or no contact with others moving her in should be sufficient. They should settle this matter and let you in for a few hours. Any way you need to know who the staff is that will be taking care of her. If something happens then you will be able to put a face with the team that's taking care of her. Most Centers around here is allowing that onetime visit with their loved one. My brother just died in one of those facilities and I had visited with him on Sunday dropping some items off. On Wednesday the next week he died somehow and I don't even know how or what happened, the nurse has not been in since that time. I belive she quit. So our loved ones safety is not gaurenteed.
I'm sad because that place had COVID Twice in the past 4 months and an employee brought it in each time. I don't know if my brother had it our not they won't say although he was feeling well on Sunday. That's the irony of all this no help when you need it most.

I had the same experience last Dec.2020 with my grandma. It was bad enough not being able to decorate her room to make it feel more like home; but leaving her at the front door due to Covid was horrible. My 26yr old daughter and I cried for days! Finally on Mar.2021 wecan visit for 30 min outside.

Nicky1964, you CAN NOT IMAGINE how much I KNOW EXACTLY what you're talking about. We moved my mom from Texas to Florida to be with us two years ago. One year ago, we found a GREAT PLACE (expensive as hell! Over $5,200 per month!) for mom and she settled in there really well in her one-bedroom assisted living apt. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a little less than two years ago and of course when COVID hit, they closed all the facilities to outside visits LAST MARCH, so it's been a year now that we have not been able to hug or kiss her. We do Skype calls twice a week but she doesn't remember. A couple of months ago, they finally started 25 minute, two person limit in-person visits but we have to be gowned up and of course wear a mask. I'm OK with all of that but we still CANNOT HUG OR KISS at all. We have to stay at one end of the table and she is at the other and she DOES NOT UNDERSTAND why we can't be close even though we talk about the virus all the time.

So I KNOW what you mean and I do understand completely, even the last part. My family (four of us, mom, dad, sis, and myself) have always been close. My dad passed away at age 56 and my sis and her family live in Tennessee. She has her own health issues to deal with due to formaldehyde poisoning she got from hard-wood flooring that had been made in China and shipped to the US (she didn't know that at the time!) So, my wife and I have no help or support from family at all.

Not sure this will do you any good and the old adage "misery loves company" sucks. But I did want you to know that you're not alone. There are a LOT of us out here going through the exact same thing, so just know that you are not alone.

I hope things proceed well with your mom. Honestly, I think it's just as difficult on the family as it is on the loved one. :(

BH
Florida

The question about POA and assisted living taking over making appointments-need for more information....
I am POA of the person that is 93 with dementia, a diabetic, not able to dress or bathe themselves, wheelchair bound and has osteoporosis. I have made appointments and took to appointments almost 2 years prior to COVID while this person has been at this facility. I have always called/told them about all appointments so they knew about appointments...even when this person was to fast if necessary and through COVID. A few appointments I had made had been within 2 days prior to appt as need was urgent and they said nothing about transporting this person to dr office during COVID. I’d been telling various workers for several weeks about 2 upcoming appts when I took items to facility and these folks told me to just remind them a few prior days prior to the appointments. I was there for a first time visit since last fall due to COVID and told the worker that meet me at the door for this visit about these appts, they even sat “right there with us” during this entire visit. They wrote it down on a piece of paper and said thank you. Since I wasn’t quite sure I had the exact time, I verified the time and advise them with an email later that same day. The first appointment was in 4 days and the other was in almost 3 week. I spoke with this same person that wrote this down everyday prior to the day of the first appt. and nothing was said about a problem or conflict nor did they check while I was there. They have multiple people to do transports. I worked til 2 pm the day before first appt. I kept my grandson due to health issues with my son in law regarding appointments about possible amputation. I work and had arranged my schedule for all these appts. My daughter and her husband returned after 8 pm as dr was over 2 hrs away. I live almost hr from daughter. I spent the night and left early for work from their house. When I got to work I happened to check emails and saw one from facility advising me in less than 24 hrs my appt had been cancelled and rescheduled by the facility which was only 1 hour half “prior” to “my” appt and me leaving to be at that appointment. I wasn’t called —nothing. They’ve had my contact info for over 2 1/2 yrs and there’s been no changes to it. The other was canceled but they said was yet to be rescheduled. This appt is a 3 month checkup about their blood sugar, condition from Covid and pneumonia. I work full time and have various appts to work with for my job. The 1st appt they have rescheduled doesn’t work in my schedule but I reworked the best I could the rest of day I was notified plus the new day of their appt. which created real issues for my work. I emailed them and told them I was POA and had not given them approval to changed anything nor was I asked if I would reschedule within my schedule/work time. They said the transportation person was to schedule all residents appts and family nor POA were no longer allowed to do so. They refuse to even consider me and my work....plus yesterday I was informed they had a telehealth visit with the same doctor that is the second appt I’d booked and not told about why or had it even taken place...the dr office sent me the info thru their health portal email. They’ve never called me at anytime when this person I’m the POA for when there was emergency health issues and had to be transported by ambulance to the hospital, the doctor called me and told me this person was being taken by ambulance to hospital and dr asked if I had been notified by the facility...I had not nor have I been advised anything was wrong..the doctors office has always notified me by actual calls not emails and they’ve been in the middle of the night. The facility even didn’t give this resident meds as prescribed by the doctor when my person ended up with Covid and pneumonia a few months ago..the dr called and told me about that as well.. I’ve questioned the facility and been “brushed” off.