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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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Getting my Mom to to the psychiatrist last year was a long and drawn out process. All involved suffered except for the psychiatrist who talked to us for twenty minutes, smiled, said I know what is wrong and we can fix it. To my surprise, after a week on the medication, she did fix it! Problem is, Mom figured she was cured, threw out the meds and refuses any follow up even though is has since regressed. She will not go back to any doctor and I believe is still a little mortified that she actually had to go to a Psch. to begin with.
I just talked to my Dad's doctor on the phone today. He said that he had broached the subject with Dad at Dad's last appt. about seeing a psychiatrist and taking anti-depressant medication. Dad resisted it, and the doctor didn't push it. The doctor says he'll try again at Dad's next appt. The situation isn't urgent, in that I don't feel that Dad is "suicical", but I do feel that an anti-depressant would be life-enhancing for him ( and for us, his caregivers). He would be happier and more positive. I am finding that it is important that I communicate with Dad's doctor. This may be helpful to other caregivers out there.
Thanks for your inputs, it has been helpful. A bit more about her depression. I didn't want to go into the causes in my Mom's case but of course there are some and valid ones. Depression does not strike suddenly from above but rather swells slowly from below. Are medications the cure?, No, but hopefully they can help you get back on your feet long enough the address the root causes. In her case re-intergation into her church and social activities, which she has totally forsaken, should help. Is some of this driven by fear of dying? I think the opposite. She is tired, feels like she is living in an alien world from the one she grew up in, her husband and friends are gone, etc, ect. My siblings and I Love and Respect her so it is difficult to see her curled up and afraid of her own shadow. We want to help and feel that we and the doctors can help. Finessing her into getting involved is thr issue, forcing her into it may make things worse. Thanks again.
If I were to define depression, I'd say feeling low for a long time. For many, medication is useless unless the underlying causes are addressed effectively. In her case, she's apparently afraid of dying and neither Remeron nor any other substance that serves to mask depression is going to work. Don't take this the wrong way, but if she practices one of those monotheistic religions that promise immortality after this vessel we call a body is gone talk to the priest, pastor, or rabbi. He/she might help her stop feeling sorry for herself and accept the fact that no one lives forever. Keep us posted.
Canonbob--my 86 year old father acts as though he's depressed too. He firmly resists considering taking an anti-depressant, saying that drugs like that are a lot of "hogwash." Now that Dad is living in a senior community, his depression has lifted somewhat , because of the socialization. Running into people all the time can't help but lift depression, even if just a little bit. I don't know if a senior community would be possible for your mother. I agree with Carol (Agingcare expert) that a respected third party is a good way to go to convince your mother that medication would be helpful. When my husband and I were trying to get my Dad to stop driving, we were not successful until we enlisted my uncle's ( who is a physician) help in telling Dad it was time to hang up the car keys. Sometimes it is helpful, when talking to the elderly, to call something by a more euphemistic name---For example, instead of saying she is "depressed", you could say ( or have her doctor say) that her "system is sluggish", or something like that. Good Luck!
Thanks for reply, her friends have been trying to help to no avail. I will try other sources. We want to allow her to stay in her house as long as possible and so far, enough though she is on the couch most of the day, she has been eating, barely, and paying her few bills. She is not eating and drinking properly and claims that she "is not going to make it" Problem is how do we convince her she needs help. Logic and reason have been fruitless. Thanks
Is there a pastor, priest or Rabbi who she respects? Sometimes a good friend or a professional can get a person to do something when the family can't. The problem with depression is that when a person is really depressed, it's hard for them to want to do anything -and that includes going to a doctor.
It's so sad that she had something that worked and she stopped taking it. A third party is all that I can think of. I hope someone can talk her into it. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She will not go back to any doctor and I believe is still a little mortified that she actually had to go to a Psch. to begin with.
If I were to define depression, I'd say feeling low for a long time. For many, medication is useless unless the underlying causes are addressed effectively. In her case, she's apparently afraid of dying and neither Remeron nor any other substance that serves to mask depression is going to work. Don't take this the wrong way, but if she practices one of those monotheistic religions that promise immortality after this vessel we call a body is gone talk to the priest, pastor, or rabbi. He/she might help her stop feeling sorry for herself and accept the fact that no one lives forever. Keep us posted.
-- ED
Sometimes it is helpful, when talking to the elderly, to call something by a more euphemistic name---For example, instead of saying she is "depressed", you could say ( or have her doctor say) that her "system is sluggish", or something like that.
Good Luck!
It's so sad that she had something that worked and she stopped taking it. A third party is all that I can think of. I hope someone can talk her into it.
Carol