I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
About 10 years ago my friend’s mother had a “ trusted handyman “ whom she used for many years . Then the woman developed dementia. My friend was in the difficult position of not having POA, nor able to get her Mom to be diagnosed ( mom refused testing ) . My friend got a hold of her Mom’s check book . Her Mom had been writing VERY large checks to her “ handyman “ for , driving her to get her hair done and to the grocery store , as well as mowing and trimming bushes .
For example $300 per outing to go to the grocery store . $500 a week to mow .
Now recently you have come into the situation. However you are concerned as she buys some expensive items and keeps the change from shopping.
I think I need a little more information before responding much more. Did your uncle ask for your help? Are you his POA/health proxy or simply a concerned family member? Has your uncle been diagnosed with dementia? Has your uncle actually hired this neighbour to be his caregiver as in he pays her to do this?
We do see cases where seniors are taken advantage of by people who are "helping" them and family tries to intervene. I don't know if that is what is going on here. If your uncle is "of sound mind" he can make any arrangement he likes even if you think he is being taken advantage of. It can be hard for family to see this. If he has dementia and you are POA then you have an obligation to protect him and his resources. If he has dementia and you don't have POA it is much harder for you to have any influence..
You say you are chipping away at making some changes. A grocery card sounds like a very good idea. By no means should you be spending any of your own money. I'm not clear if your offer to buy his groceries for him means that you do it with your money or his - hopefully his.
Obviously your uncle enjoys having this lady do things for him and share meals with him. That's not small thing in a senior's life. I'd be very careful about trying to come between them as he is defending her. I am sure you want to be on his right side too.
More information helps us to respond more appropriately. This is a tricky situation. Good luck to you.
Are you personally paying for your uncle's groceries of your own pocket?
If you're not paying for the groceries and your uncle is fine with what's being spent and has no problem with it, then really it's none of your business and you don't need to worry about it.
I was a homecare worker for 25 years and now am in the business of it. I've known many family members like you who were "concerned" because their elderly loved one were spending too much on their groceries. Did it ever occur to you that your uncle likes good food? Maybe this neighbor/caregiver (now there's dynamic right there) prepares the meals and eats with your uncle for company and he enjoys the company?
Maybe you should stop "chipping away" at your uncle about how he's spending his money. No one is asking you to shop, pay for or prepare his food. Instead of "chipping away" at him why not go have a meal with him and his caregiver. I bet he'd love the company.
The weather it is a-changin.
Golden, I will share our weather with you. We are cooking and could use some of that white stuff.
My whine is I had back to back colds which have bloomed into sinusitis . Meanwhile this is all kicking up the asthma as well . And tree pollen is moderate . Staying inside . Based on how I feel I will have to give in and start allergy shots . Allergy meds haven’t been working the last 6 months . I’m allergic to the world basically .
A record for March.
Golden, sorry and your insurance stuff, going up, are homeowners went way up too. We recently changed companies.
My whine is, back was really bothering me, went to Chiro did all my stretches, it got much better, then it came back with a vengeance, I was so mad. Then I figured it out, I wear orthopedic bras, well I stupidly saved my old bras just in case. So anyways I've been wearing the old bras in the other drawer for 2 weeks.
Switched back to the new ones and it's already getting better. Threw away the old ones and order another new one. I'm sure because my back was in a delicate state that it hurt it so quickly.
We have had no rain to speak of all winter and we are praying that we get some. Spring is our dry season, so hopefully!
Bosch has written me to say my "servicer" (I don't like the connotation) is ordering a new control unit and will contact me when he has it and can do the repair. I'm not holding my breath - just buying more dishwashing liquid!
Not sure this is a whine - the sky was white with snow today ❄❄🌨❄❄ and the ground is covered again. Pretty normal for March and still much better than it was up north which was minus 25C (minus 13F) a few days ago.
Anti-whine - my cell phone bill was correct this month and included the customer care they awarded me. I've set up to pay it a day late! So there!!! 🤣
I think that AnxietyNacy was wanting to change her name some time ago, ANYway, so this is, I guess, the good time for it? Anyway, I hope the admins can reset your old account, or restore it some way for you.
I once left Forum, and had to contact them to return. It was easily done by them to reset everything to my old account and my old email.
You have a long long history here of advice; I hate to have it simply disappear into the ether. You won't have to do the settings thing yourself. The admins can do it.
Good to be back! I got some catching up to do
That was a test seems to be working. 🙂
Strange about nacy but I expect they will figure it out eventually. She was an active poster.
Big flakes of snow came down this morning and the field is white again. ❄🌨❄ To be expected, I guess.
So much of this stuff is outsourced now. I agree with you. We may get an item or a service, but if we need help, that part is not so easy for certain. This is a company with a good rep for high end efficient products. Sorry to hear it has sunk into the general morass.
So don't know, DrivingDaisy's comment is still down there.
I got a private message from AnxietyNacy-now DrivingDaisy that she is in communication with the admins, about her site problems. Just in case,
She usually is quite communicative on the Forum, so if DrivingD is working, she should be able to write. She was saying that she could only post on Discussions and not on
Questions or something odd like that. Time will tell?
My whine today - they will sell you anything any day of the week and take your money but when it comes to service - our office is closed...please call back...
When I called the Bosch service number earlier in the week it referred me to their US people, who finally realized I was in Canada. They said my area code must be a new one so the system didn't recognize it as Canadian.This area code was started in 2016. I had to use R's phone to get past the technology.
Nacy is back as DrivingDaisy. See below. I think she is having account problems as well. She is back under another name and had to create another email. I think she should contact the admins. When I left AC at one point I came back after a month, had to contact admins; they were very accommodating in restoring my account as it always had been.
Anxietynacy may have had her account suspended. If the admin of this site suspended it there's no way of anyone knowing until the suspension is over.
I got suspended once and that was it until I my account was re-instated. Anxietynacy was around yesterday commenting on a few threads.
I miss NeedHelpWithMom. Who knows where she went? I got some very good recipes from her.
Anxiety, could you PM me and let me know what you mean by shut out.
I am experiencing so disturbing gossip moments.
Isn't it ALWAYS disturbing.
I honestly think that you should contact the admins about all of this.
I once left the site myself, and had to get admins permission to come back to the page. But my messages were never removed when I left. Generally when messages are removed it means an admin removal for cause, and you don't want that; if that were to be the case they would remove this account as well, of course.
Something quite odd is up. Follow it up with the admins would be my advice.
To tell the truth, I am finding more than a few curious things of late that I can't make head or tails of. But why go there. As with Need just being "gone", we will likely never have an answer.