I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Sigh. I know neither is an attractive option. I share with you a heartfelt desire that life would be simple and that people would do what they say they will do. Sigh again.
Kazzaa, one guilt avoidance strategy is to record each time you ask your mother to let you make an appointment for her blood test and she declines the offer. You can get sophisticated and record the reason (like that bloke who spreadsheeted all his partner's reasons for refusing sex :-0) or you can just keep track of how many times. Then, when she's facing amputation or blindness, which by the way you could download for her to enjoy looking at if you were feeling sadistic, you can remind not her but yourself that You Did Your Best. On a more practical note, is your GP linked with a Nurse Practitioner in Diabetes? - because they're usually pretty good at getting recalcitrant patients to toe the line. It might be worth finding your nearest one and grassing your mother up to her.
I'm feeling pretty jaundiced today, I must admit. Finally got out of the house for a couple of hours at half past two, and I really really didn't want to come home. Though then I realised I did want to come home, I just didn't want the other two people in it to be there. So came home anyway to my real whine moment of the day: a little flurry of emails from my unutterably useless bloody family. Brother and sister who share finance POA think the respite care near my brother's town is too expensive (it IS too expensive - the fees are frankly cheeky). So somehow BIL, sister's husband, has been nominated to negotiate a fee reduction. That's very nice of him, and I wish him every success, and I look forward to hearing the outcome; but why is HE having to do this? Why is our mother suddenly his problem? What is the matter with these people? Have they lost the power of speech?
Lucy, the tiny kitten, has been with me three weeks now. When rescued she was loaded with worms, fleas and lice so she's been quarantined in the sun room. She's had two vet visits (bankruptcy anyone? lol), is much stronger now and has had her first shots so I think it will be ok to take her to visit and it will mean so much to my mother.
So far as forgiving is concerned, yes I'm just now able to do that. My mother came from the dysfunctional family from h*ll and she knew no better. Monkey see, monkey do as they say.
Off back to bed. My old cat, Jake, who is deaf and likes to talk loudly to himself in the night is quiet and hopefully the little dog, Sue, who sleeps in my bed, has left me some space :)
Every house should have this its a lifesaver!! yep will kill anything on your body that shouldnt be there!!
also use it as a mouthwash it kills all bacteria in the mouth!
i feel like an ad for this stuff but trust me its great for everything! teatree also for washing!
Hugs feel for you now as been there!!
at her final 3 days of life my mother walked beside me and asked me how she was going to get out of " this " one . if you had a selfish and abusive mother i dont blame you for not being very sympathetic at this point but i think your hurting yourself .
This morning, on my way to the hardware store, I dropped in (lunch time and she's been refusing lunch for ages) with a sardine sandwich, her favourite, soft bread with the crusts cut off but I couldn't persuade her to have even one bite. I said just have a nibble, there's nothing like a nibble in the middle of the day. She smiled but still refused, saying leave it and I'll eat it later. She also said she wasn't going to supper as she was so weak and tired. She said "I'm going soon" to which I responded "You're not going anywhere until you eat that sandwich!",
She also said she was out in the halls yesterday looking for her cat (which staff confirmed), the little black cat. Her cat, Pixie, is a tortie, 5 and lives with me. She's taken a great interest in Lucy, a wee black starving kitten I rescued off a back road recently. She couldn't remember the name but she had to find her little black cat and where the canned food was kept for it. At supper last night a table mate left meat on her plate. My mother asked for it for "her cat" and the woman refused so I gather there was WWIII.
I spoke to the head nurse on my way out and she will have staff attend to at least try to get her to eat the sandwich. She agreed that my mother has pretty much given up, eats next to thing and drinks little. It's only a matter of time but at least she's in no pain, just fading away. Little Lucy, though still so small, is stronger and healthier now and has had her first shots. I'm thinking of taking her to visit in the next few days.
We've never been close at all bit I'm all she has, in fact she's been the mother from h*ll but to see the way she is today, well I don't know how I feel, sadness that she was never ever happy in this life no matter what possessions and grandeur she had, or lifted a finger to be nice or help anyone unless there was something in it for her. Pity sure, but when I think back over how evil and mean she's been to anyone and everyone who dared cross her path ... well, Karma is a b*tch.
Today my get up and go got up and went though I've done basic chores and cared for my critters. My muscle/helper guy, Joe, is coming tomorrow and we will continue with the renovations. For now I'm going to nap and try to digest what is surely coming very soon.
I think we should get all these parents online together to "whine" to each other that way we could have a break! instead of b*tching and moaning at us they could b*tch and moan with each other wouldnt that be great!
Im hungover and drained from mum today YEH not easy with mum when your head is like a "bag of frogs".
No matter what i put on tv shell b*tch and moan? i just come online now and give her the remote and pray that she goes to bed soon?
Right now shes watching "hoarding buried alive" oh just shoot me!
No i can still party just with less alcohol! i guess im a cheap date now!!
Kaz, we apparently had the same night and woke up without tobacco. Ugh.
Apparently I cannot party like a rockstar anymore. Sure was fun trying!
Big outdoor bbq in a lovely country house, big pool, big drinks, big sunny day and big eats = big headache
We just make sure all the moisture is dried up.
I agree with you that a yeast infection is very unpleasant and painful so it is very important to be vigilant as you are. Those under breast areas should be cleaned every day even if you can only use a wipe.
When I suggested a sponge bath I was thinking more in terms of laying on the bed rather than sitting or standing at the bathroom sink
Put a bath sheet on the bed and have her lie down and cover with another bath sheet. She can wash whatever she wishes but you can take over and get the under arms and under breasts. Only uncover the part you are washing. Wash right down her belly but not between her legs. Wash her legs and feet keeping the genital area covered (another place I am sure she doesn't like you to go.) Pay special attention to her feet and between her toes which is another area where the fungus can grow. Be sure to dry between the toes well.
Now have her roll onto her side and wash her back. Now you can get at the genital area from behind and do a really good job. Apply Peparation H tm to any area of redness around the anus, and inspect the vaginal area for any discharge.
many women refuse help with bathing especially if they are older and it is a family member because of embaressment Respecting her privacy may go a long way to getting her co-operation and getting a thorough job done.
Now if after you done a few bed baths and she is willing you can try the shower again and she may be more prepared to let you touch those private areas.