I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Going to find some drugs!
This week, the one thing I let slide was when I discovered that my mother might very well try to attend a hearing at the DMV to get her license back. I found out about this several weeks ago, and frantically dropped everything else I was doing to try to cancel the appointment (explained who I was, faxed them the 25 page POA document). I never got confirmation one way or the other, and couldn't devote more time to this, so I just hoped for the best. I was mainly worried about her being embarassed--trying to make a case for herself, when she's 100% unable to. It's scheduled for tomorrow, and I lost a lot of sleep thinking about how to deal with this. My solution: back off. She'll have to suffer the consequences of whatever happens. I can't keep juggling every one ball up in the air all the time. I don't think there's any chance that she'll actually get her driving privileges back, but even if that were to occur, I get her mail, and wouldn't let her know about it. She's in no shape to drive. I'll only handle what's necessary to comply with the law, with her homeowners/community regulations, with what will keep her (and others) safe.
So I would say let up on your loved one she is going to do what she wants regardless of what she is told. I realize it is "bad" for her but at the end of life what is "good' for anyone. You are doing your best and she is still relatively independent so continue to monitor her diabetes and adjust her insulin as necessary. Continue to make healthy meal choices but beyond that your job is done. Don't make your life and her miserable by trying to make her do what is healthy for her. ask yourself what bad habits do you have yourself? Yes say screw it and let her make her own decisions while she can and save your sanity and her happiness. The more you pull in one direction the more she will pull in the other.
When someone has diabetes and dementia, we end up in a position of letting them eat things they want or sitting there watching them all day. For me the only solution is to keep the really unhealthy things away and not worry when her blood sugar goes up due to snacking. She is 87. I worry more about the nighttime hypoglycemic episodes, which is why I don't want her taking an extra shot of Levemir.
In the past year I've been comfortable as long as the glucose stays around 100-250. And I no longer sweat the occasional spike, since I know it will soon come back down. At 87, her long-term problems from the spikes is not so much of a concern. I worry much more when she has low blood sugar, since it can be quickly lethal.
She's diabetic, as well as suffering from vascular dementia. NOTHING you say to them sticks so you are constantly repeating--telling them over and over what they need to do. I am tired of hearing myself and having to say things. She is too because she makes a pissy, mad face at me every time I do. That wears on me too having to be the 'bad guy' all the time. To have to suffer the energy of her anger at me beats me up.
Her sugar issue is one example. I try vigorously to keep additional sugar from her diet. But she is a constant eater. She always has to have something in her mouth. So I keep healthy snacks around but she often bypasses them for the sugary crap. If she goes for a walk to our neighborhood clubhouse, she picks up the candy (not sugarless) and puts them in her pocket to snack on during the day. If I buy her low sugar ice cream, she sneaks it at least twice a day. If I buy her almond milk, she complains. Regular milk has milk sugar. If she goes to the clubhouse to get coffee, she puts sugarless packets in it and then goes to the freezer and puts ice cream (not sugarless) in her coffee too. And, of course, if I find out and tell her or take it from her, I get the attitude.
I'm very tired this morning. Sometimes I just want to say 'screw it' and just let her do what she wants. It's defeating and demoralizing.
Are there other activities that would get you both out and about and provide some mental stimulation. Hubby I think you said is still working and driving but the chief problem is muscle weakness. Would it be possible to reach out to some of his coworkers and invite them maybe for a casual meal or perhaps to go to a movie or concert whatever interests you all.
All we see is the good side of Michael J Fox and he looks fabulous when we see him in public. But I wonder what happens when he gets home and collapses for a couple of days.
Is there any reason hubby can't use a golf cart? if he did that i bet some of his friends would be quick to hitch a ride
Which reminds me of my aunt's friend who had a stroke. And how I haven't been to see her. Oo. There are good logistical reasons for that, but there is also the bad reason that last time I went I did feel useless.
Me1000, I also like everyones thread. How else do we learn? However, I would never single a thread out and say it was bad or toxic or whatever.
This is all of our lives.
So here is another whine... wait, no....it's wine, Pino Grigio YUM!
I am NOT trying to be offensive to anybody. At times I do like a nice chuckle within this thread, it makes me feel not so lonely or alone at caring for my mom. It is easy. Ha! Preaching to the choir.
aps even came out . my steps jived with what " wendy " had just been taught at a bed bug seminar . that bought some time ..
at the end told em all we werent vaccuming up our protective DE with the suspected bug carrying relatives visiting again . leave us the h*ll alone ..
im still venting a year later . d*mn that was a rough spot ..
Captain, you made me LOL.....and I needed that a LOT today...and you summed it up great...especially after a day like today....hospice blows...thanks for the chuckle....
Plus, I was wandering everyone, when a thread is long such as yours JeanetteB, how do I know where to start reading from and respond? Id like to be more talkative with everyone here :) I dont want leave anyone out!!!
Anywho, that's cool to be the 1100 post!!! :)
Hugs all
So with that said, my whine moment right at this moment is; Posters should take others in consideration before they say they are sick of a title to a thread started by someone else and enjoyed by many. Yeah, that kind of stung and hurt my feelings. Perhaps I am just too sensitive and whiny at times tho eh?
I'm in this for the long haul with my mother. My life has more to it than just care taking, even if it is all consuming at this moment. I have a son whom I haven't seen in 2 years. Friends, a job I loved... an ocean I used to swim in a LIFE. Nothing I can do about it at the moment nor would I probably ever change my decision to care for my mom. I damn sure can whine about it though. It is my Mental Health Vent!
Any time my parents need something my Dad will say "oh, if you are going by such and such store, can you get us this or that".... I realize it is a polite way of asking but I have to roll my eyes because I am NEVER going by this store or that store.... Dad, I hate to shop.
Yesterday I had posted about doing on-line grocery shopping and how my parents are trying to get me to go back into the store to do their shopping. They now claim the on-line service is dropping their eggs as the eggs are cracked. So this morning I dropped off the carton of eggs I got from the on-line service for myself, each and every egg is perfect... then I had an AHA moment, these eggs are Eggland's Best and each egg has an EB printed in red... well, my Mom has very poor eyesight, and now I am wondering if she sees the imprint logo that she is thinking the egg is damaged.... can't wait for her to open the carton and use an egg :)
what i learned from it ; they report to family doc , you can too .. if they stress your household doc will light em up ..