My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Question

My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Follow

Share

33K Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First

1085 1086 1087 1088 1089

Recent Questions

Related Questions

How do you cope when you have to care for your mother-in-law because your husband's family won't?
Is anyone in the same situation as me? My 79 year old mother has moderate dementia
How do I rise above my mother's insults and guilt trips, break out of this rut and get my life back?? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
I don't want to take care of my mother anymore but I don't want to put her in a home. What can I do?

Start a Discussion

L Linda22 Jul 2014 · Answer 1 · 2014-07-21T12:49:21.000-0400

A little eyeball whine here...finally got Mom to try to read (after simple procedure two weeks ago) and she was complaining that her eyes water when she reads. And that she can't see the photos on the fridge with the glasses. She admitted she hasn't been able to read in over a year.... my fear is that she now has AMD in her left eye, which we'll know about next month. She's getting more confused about what we tell her. Oh dear heavens, Dad's dementia was awful, but Mom's baseline personality is narcissistic and nasty. I can't even imagine her personality with this horrid illness.

A anonymous179890 Jul 2014 · Answer 2 · 2014-07-21T12:29:25.000-0400

Over the years I've driven a 400 mile round trip to collect mother's then dog twice when she was hospitalized with stroke and a 400 mile round trip each time to take the dog back when she got home. One was so morbidly obese I couldn't find a coat to fit it (it was mid winter) and while I was at work each day it hopped off the couch and pooped on the carpet. The other, a poodle, didn't have much between its ears and it diarrhea'd all over my home, including the couch and my bed for two weeks. When told she said "Oh dear, she must have missed me". No thought of the cost of getting my home cleaned :(

I inherited her last dog and cat when they were three and thankfully they've turned out to be normal critters.

A anonymous179890 Jul 2014 · Answer 3 · 2014-07-21T12:21:53.000-0400

Heidi if he's your FIL why can't your hubby, his son, lend a hand?

L looloo Jul 2014 · Answer 4 · 2014-07-21T11:55:31.000-0400

And she coughs and sneezes with her mouth open too. Always has. Anywhere, doesn't matter if it's out in the open, or at the table at a nice dinner with guests. Ewwwwwwwww!

L looloo Jul 2014 · Answer 5 · 2014-07-21T11:54:04.000-0400

All your whines have been mine w/my mother since I was a kid! The gross habits, the overindulgent pet feeding. I don't do hands on care (THANK GOD), but growing up with it was yucky, and seeing it now is just as bad. Except that now, her behavior is attached to me in a way it wasn't before. Like it's my fault that the dog is morbidly obese, and gets no exercise or socialization. Or it's my fault that she leaves used fly swatters on the kitchen counter and table!!!!

C Countrymouse Jul 2014 · Answer 6 · 2014-07-21T11:53:35.000-0400

Oh God please don't start me on tissues…

Litldogtoo, maybe she ignores the farting because she can't hear it, do you think? My mother was the sort of person who (seriously) expected a person to retire to the bathroom "if you need to do *that*" - now, she trots along farting in time to her footsteps.

It was only a problem the one time, when beautifully brought-up Lovely Nephew 4 came to visit her and we unintentionally made each other corpse over it. My sister didn't know which of us to be angry with.

H Heidigreene Jul 2014 · Answer 7 · 2014-07-21T11:45:37.000-0400

OMG. I am so with you. Tissues everywhere. "Boofing" while at the dinner table, "boofing" walking anywhere, overflowing depends, no bathroom hygiene, no idea what he's supposed to do next. I'm exhausted. FIL up at 1:00 am taking this mornings medication. Up all night. Got dogs up all night. Calling me from down stairs to my bedroom asking if it's time to get up yet. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to explain each next little thing to do. I'm tired of trying to act interested in his babbling words. I'm tired of having to non stop accommodate him at every turn because he had Alz and that's what we are told to do. It's not humanly possible to continually appease him. Each day is ground hog day with the unpredictable twist of what additional part of FILS brain is missing today. I do have compassion. I think what is happening up him is hideous. That does not change the fact that I'm exhausted and there is still no relief in sight. I just want to let him fend on his own for a day but where would that get either of us? More work in the end. This just sucks.

Please excuses bad attitude. I am praying.

V Veronica91 Jul 2014 · Answer 8 · 2014-07-21T11:19:34.000-0400

I guess you can be glad she is peeing and pooping in the toilet not bedbound and able to get herself a snack. if seriously worried what she is doing in the fridge. Get a second one with a lock for your stuff and just leave enough in the other for 24 hours
As far as the bathroom is concerned put a lock on the outside of the door and tell her it is broken. Give her a comode in her room and see how she does with that.
old hahits will only get worse I am sorry to tell you. Old guts don't work as well as younge ones and burping and farting come with the territory just keep her away from visitors. Sorry for your plight you get a gold star for taking care of Mom even if she is frustrating.

J JessieBelle Jul 2014 · Answer 9 · 2014-07-21T11:10:15.000-0400

Maybe we should make a gas mask the international sign of the caregiver. Sometimes I wished I had one when I'm walking behind my mother. She simply says, "Oops. I'm glad I got that out of me before we get to ..."

My mother doesn't understand the concept of germs. She'll run water in the morning for dishes and use the same cold water all day long for new dishes if I don't drain it. Anything she can't see, smell, or feel doesn't really exist.

And drains... don't get me started. I bought a strainer to help keep food from going down the kitchen sink. So she removes the strainer before she does the dishes. She tries to tell me that she does when she empties the strainer in the trash. The only place she empties the strainer is down the sink so the water will drain faster. I have to unplug the kitchen sink several times a month. We don't have a garbage disposal.

A anonymous179890 Jul 2014 · Answer 10 · 2014-07-21T11:07:37.000-0400

Over feeding pets seems to be a "thing" with the elderly. When I inherited my mother's little dog, miniature pinscher x, she was a whopping 28lb and obnoxious. After 18 months of proper food and exercise she's a trim 20lb and the sweetest little thing.

L Litldogtoo Jul 2014 · Answer 11 · 2014-07-21T10:49:49.000-0400

Oh, and what about when they burp and fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She just walked into the room and just let out a huge one but she just walks around, like nothing is happening! I think I'm in some sort of hormonal phase today! Everything she is doing so far is driving me nuts! My God, just shoot me! Plus she's always, always putting her hands in the rubbish to put something in. She can't drop it in like normal people. She has to put it in. Years ago, she used to do this and twice she was taken to the ER with a cut on her finger from canned stuff (before recycling). I remember my dad getting really angry with her for doing this. I don't know how he ever lived with this woman before he died!

And TISSUES! There are tissues all over the place. She uses them to wipe her face, never blows her nose, just lets it run (this is something she did when I was younger, as if she'll blow a gasket or something if she actually blows her nose!)

Yesterday, she jammed the toilet at least once. The day before, "Will you come look at this'...What! Come look at what! So, there's a little pee in there with tons of toilet paper and I flush it and boom! Up it all comes. She says, "I pooped" ...
No, you didn't ma, you peed. Then she says, Well, I pooped a little while ago.

So out comes the plunger and she watches. I have to tell her to get out of the bathroom, please! I'm plunging, she's watching some infomercial on television and thinking it's a show!

L Litldogtoo Jul 2014 · Answer 12 · 2014-07-21T10:39:19.000-0400

OMG Daughter! My mother was feeding the dog GRAPES one day.

Me: What are you doing?!!!!!
She: She loves the grapes!

Well, if you have a dog you know grapes are really bad for dogs, i.e., probably deadly.

So, I ask her how many did she feed her?

She: Not many.
Me: Now many?!!!!

Always, always there is no answer after that.

The dog was fine, but gees, I've told her before, DO NOT FEED THE DOG!

L Litldogtoo Jul 2014 · Answer 13 · 2014-07-21T10:35:56.000-0400

Little Whine: I was out with the dog no longer than what? a minute? and my mother is getting her own orange juice. I come back in and she's pouring some juice back into the juice container. So, I say, "What are you doing?' She says: I had too much juice. I say: "Did you drink out of that glass?"

Now this is when she usually doesn't answer me, in fact, many times if I confront her with something like, "Hey, the toilet isn't flushing, what's up?" She'll say, "I didn't do it". So, she says to me: I'm not dirty, my germs aren't dirty".

ICK. I'm going to die doing this! I swear, I'm the one who's going to go nuts!

Each day I wake up I believe I'm in the movie Groundhog Day where that reporter is doomed to repeat his day forever!

Take a deep breath! Close my eyes. Try to remember what it was like before last year!

D daughter52 Jul 2014 · Answer 14 · 2014-07-21T10:22:16.000-0400

One whine...today. Anyone have a parent who INSISTS on feeding your pet extra food when you ask them not to. I have a cat that I TAKE CARE OF. I feed it and water it every day. I groom it and take it to the vet when needed. I have asked my mom and asked her and asked her over and over to PLEASE NOT FEED THE CAT! I tell her there is food and water down for her at all times. My cat is not skinny (13 lbs). Lately I find full bowls of milk on the floor. I tell her and even make huge signs: DO NOT GIVE CAT FOOD OR MILK. This morning I find another bowl on the floor. I can't decide if she's doing it to just defy me cause she is stubborn as Taurus h*ll or what.

B bookluvr Jul 2014 · Answer 15 · 2014-07-20T21:57:35.000-0400

I finally caved in. The kitchen sink was filthy. Why do I always think that sis will eventually do it? It was so disgusting, I had to clean it. At least sis finally bought her own toilet tissues, bread, and some food condiments. I was using my own money to feed both of us. She gets allowances from dad and from me. I've been resenting how she was eating my food and yet not pulling her weight. Yeah, yeah, she's babysitting dad Mon-Friday from 830am-630pm. But, I do the pampers (all by myself), change his bedding/clothes when he's soaking wet from the day shift, etc... Progress at work here. So, just a tiny whine today - the sink.

B bookluvr Jul 2014 · Answer 16 · 2014-07-20T21:53:05.000-0400

Kazz, since sis had No Problems with mom, you can now use her to babysit mom while you take another trip. You may need to start decluttering around the house. What you don't need, store it in the garage or sell it off. Just try to go down to the bare necessities. Or if you have a spare room, store it there and Lock the door. I have gone to Bali Indonesia by myself for a week. I scheduled tours and just did a lot of walking and shopping. On my last day there, there was an aggressive Australian man trying to pick me up in our hotel. He just didn't know what NO was. I was soooo glad that I was leaving that day. I was getting so uncomfortable how he kept trying to get me to go to his room!

Camaryllis, please make sure all knives are safely secured from FIL. Disconnect the stove at nights. And keep an eye on him. He might progress from moving things around inside the house to opening the door and wandering outside, getting lost.

V Veronica91 Jul 2014 · Answer 17 · 2014-07-20T21:33:49.000-0400

Christine I've got news for you, you do live in an asylum. Yes put latches in the drawers but more important make sure he can't get out at night and wander off. Can you listen to music when you feel bad or burn some scented candles that will transport you somewhere wonderful like a forest or seashore. Listen to the sounds of birds singing or the ocean waves crashing onto the beach/ the occasional meltdown is not a bad thing especially if soothed by a good drink or a favorite food. I could just fancy a bar of Cadbury's fruit and nut chocolate right now.

A anonymous158299 Jul 2014 · Answer 18 · 2014-07-20T21:29:04.000-0400

caring for my mother ended a year ago . my aunt is now in NH and its hard to say how long she'll be around . i can honestly say this tho . when aunt edna is gone i have no animosity towards any of her family members or for that matter , my own , but i dont like them , have never liked them , nor will ever like them .
i do write to my one sis every now and then tho . i feel shes the only one who has learned a dam thing from all this family turmoil ..
i have to make yet another automotive reference . if you look under the hood of modern cars you will see an electric fan in front of , and another electric fan behind the radiator -- so , it is physically possible to suck and blow at the same time .. my family in a nut shell .

D daughterct Jul 2014 · Answer 19 · 2014-07-20T21:17:38.000-0400

Our caretaker made $60 worth of phone calls from our parents' phone. Just another headache! Plus a breach of trust by someone we like and depend on.

F freqflyer Jul 2014 · Answer 20 · 2014-07-20T21:05:44.000-0400

JeanetteB, did you ever think you would have over 1,000 postings to your question ~ My "whine moment today". What's yours?~

H hope22 Jul 2014 · Answer 21 · 2014-07-20T20:56:11.000-0400

toomuch...I don't understand...if YOU are the one who is doing the heavier part of the work...or seemingly ALL of it, I don't understand why you don't just dump her...I would rather do it ALL myself than to deal with someone like that in my home...Can you not dump her? just wondering...honestly I could not take it...

L looloo Jul 2014 · Answer 22 · 2014-07-20T12:54:20.000-0400

Because it's so difficult to sit quietly, even if the moment presents itself!--I drafted my request to my mother's dr. for his letter stating that my mother is officially, formally, undeniably, heretofore perpetually INCAPACITATED! Hoping he can fax or email to me this week.
I'm expecting a busy week at work, and don't want to try to cram this task in, along with everything else.

T toomuch4me Jul 2014 · Answer 23 · 2014-07-20T12:43:17.000-0400

This morning was the icing on the cake for me. I normally prepare Dad's breakfast on the weekend. He and my sister were going out so he was pacing around waiting for breakfast. So I started the meal. Our HHA walks in says hello. My sister and I were chatting. I guess the greeting wasnt good enough so she tells me "You can handle things here today right ? Im tired and Im going home" My sister comes over and asks if everything is okay. She tells her "Im tired..she (meaning me) can handle things..Im leaving.." My sister did nothing. She didnt tell her that its her job to stay. No she told her, "do what you think is best.." So while they are chatting, IM FIXING THE MEAL. Excuse my french, but that @#$ had no intention of leaving. She was upset because she doesnt want to take direction from me. She wants to run the show. Instead of her asking what she could do to help, as always she pulls a diva move. My sister (just like my father) rushes to please her. At this point, Im living in a Twilight Zone. There was also an opportunity for my sister to address the issue of her bringing her son every day. My sister asked what does with her son during the day. She blatantly lied and told my sister she brings him "sometimes" My sister said, "thats great" Im done with this situation. Its a shame that this witch is driving me out of the home I grew up in but clearly that is the case. She sees I no longer bother with her, so she tried to suck up to my sister in order to get her way. My sister even told her she could "rest" while they were out . HUH ????

H hope22 Jul 2014 · Answer 24 · 2014-07-20T12:04:33.000-0400

And so again I say, one day, if God allows me continue living til then, I will have no problem walking away from every single one of these morons....were it not for Mama enjoying their company, I'd just as soon they stay away now.

H hope22 Jul 2014 · Answer 25 · 2014-07-20T12:02:05.000-0400

My whine moment: The only person who ever sits with my Mama has had a mini stroke and is now moved from the hospital to rehab, just thankful she is going to be ok, but still worried about her....thankfully, I know she is in good hands.....NOW...the whining starts...my brother texts me early this morning (he never moves early on Sundays) and lets me know he can come and stay with Mama while I go and visit my cousin in rehab today as he knows I need to do it.....ok...here's the deal, I spend my life caring for Mama, with NO help, other than the cousin, who knows I love her and to whom I speak every day. She knows I cannot come to visit and on Sunday, she is going to be covered up with all the other family members who also have not been to visit Mama since her horrid accident almost three years ago now...I told him Mama and I had a very busy week, I did not feel well (I never feel great but today I am hurting all over...literally feel like I am going to cry) so I do not think I will be going today..also she has been moved from our town to an adjacent town...but WHAT GRIPES ME...is he is soooo worried about my cousin and could give a rats butt about me...EVER. I anticipate he will make the big journey to visit her, probably take the wife, who also never visits my Mom and they will make their politically correct appearance, because then they can be seen ...unlike coming here and helping his sister take care of their mother....

Also, the week one of my aunts, one of two who does come for short visits now and then, told me she would be glad to come and stay with Mama BUT cannot come next week (which is when i needed her) because they are having revival at their church...that starts a whole "nother" whine with me. I am not a biblical scholar, and may get struck down for saying this, but in my mind, God is happier when we are actually out in the world helping folks instead of dusting off a church pew....I get into a lot of trouble for my views on this, but that is my opinion on that topic...I just don't get where someone thinks it is better to be sitting on their butt all dressed up in their Sunday go to meeting clothes than it would be to be helping the ONE sister who was always there for the entire family .....just sitting here shaking my head in disgust. One thing for sure, I have finally seen that if this old gal doesn't start looking out for my own self, there is going to be no one to take care of Mama. Thanks for listening.

G gladimhere Jul 2014 · Answer 26 · 2014-07-20T11:43:26.000-0400

Kaz, the last thing I need or want is a man! Just more neediness and things I do not need!

K kazzaa Jul 2014 · Answer 27 · 2014-07-20T11:27:22.000-0400

Yes Glad i know what you mean! i didnt meet anyone on holidays BUT wasnt bothered and quite liked just doing stuff on my own! my friends think im nuts as they would never travel alone BUT they dont get it and how you so much need a break that being on your own is heaven!!!!!!!
I ate in some lovely tapas bars the food was great i just pigged out and went to a flamenco show then a horse and carraige around the city it was bliss VERY hot but i was just so happy not to have to think about mum or look after her!
Back at the hotel bar in the evenings a few men were chatting me up as i was on my own why do men think because youre alone youre looking for a man??? always annoys me! people seemed shocked youre on your own? i felt like screaming my head off one night "YEH IM ON MY OWN I HAVE NO MAN"!!!!!!!!

G gladimhere Jul 2014 · Answer 28 · 2014-07-20T11:10:38.000-0400

Kaz, the house was a disaster because your sis could not care for mom and clean up too. And the cleaning lady was there on Friday?! Sis was overwhelmed regardless of what she says.

G gladimhere Jul 2014 · Answer 29 · 2014-07-20T11:07:52.000-0400

Kaz, I am going to visit Ash though I haven't told her yet! LOL! Her little house on two acres in the middle of nowhere sounds like heaven to me!

Probably head for the mountains, cooler there, a friend will let me use her condo that overlooks a lake with lots of boat activity! Hopefully, there won't be too much activity as I really crave solitude.

K kazzaa Jul 2014 · Answer 30 · 2014-07-20T11:00:44.000-0400

Oh Camary! what a nightmare mum hasnt started this yet? BUT house was a mess when i got back she has started clearing under the stairs mess everywhere sister said house was spotless on friday when cleaning lady was here and now its a nightmare again. BUT ive let it all go over my head ive had to i just tidy it up like a robot and keep telling myself its not her fault????? i know it dosnt help but you cant turn round to her and say "wtf are you doing you crazy woman?" !!!!!

My "whine moment today." What's yours?

33K Comments

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions