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So a little more whine...
I have taken to getting up and buzzing around when FIL starts talking crazy word salad. He usually doesn't seem to notice if I am not there, just keeps talking. Last night he was telling me a story over and over (and it was a story, never happened in real life) and I got up to turn the tv off because it was making me crazy having chatter in stereo. He grabbed my hand and said please don't walk away from me, I need you to listen to me. OMG. Well, that kind of floored me. I sat back down and patiently endured an hour and a half of that story again. And again. I do feel kind of bad for him because MIL won't hear him, Charles has better boundaries than I do and tells him to stop talking so much when he has had enough, and even the dogs won't stay near him when he gets like that.

Thanks for listening,
Christine
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Oh Sallie to be a fly on the wall when the *hit hits the fan! Just stand back and enjoy....
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Hugs to you, Christine. Some days do get very, very long...
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My "Whine" today is, I just got back today from a three day get away which I really needed and enjoyed. My mom tells me my two non helping sisters are helping my brother who has cirrhosis. The sisters have decided to take turns going to see him every week to help him and do his grocery shopping and pay for his food. Where have they been for their own mother for 4 years? I can't wait till they start fighting over this situation. I will laugh, and laugh, and laugh!
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OK, here is my daily whine...get the cheese and crackers ready.
So here is a twist, FIL has been in a hateful mood to MIL today, but when the physical therapy nurse came in he was all sweet and flirty. Ewww. MIL is upset, of course. She can't hear him, which I think is because she doesn't WANT to hear him. I can't say I blame her. He says he can't swallow when it comes to dinner time, but gulps down pancakes and eggs and donuts at breakfast. There was a speech therapist here today, who might be able to help with the swallowing thing. She thought there was no reason for him to not be able to swallow except that it got attention from me and from MIL. Talk about dysfunctional. Normally I can be compassionate but the attention seeking cr*p pushes my buttons. He has late stage dementia, and so probably can't help much of his behavior. But dang. And, to add to the fun, he has suddenly become Houdini in getting out of his depends and then leaving them all around the house. He won't let me help him, thank every star, so have to get MIL or Charles to get him into new depends. Anyway, very aggravating day today. Add to this that the physical therapist showed up late, just as I was getting them to the dining room table for dinner. So more disruption.

Thanks for listening...
Christine
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Every day I swear I am not gonna whine about stuff about my mother with dementia. It is not her fault---I know that. But geeeeeeeeeeez!
In the state where we live, there is a drought. I plant drought tolerant plants and I try to water effectively and efficiently when I have to water. My mother does not. I have told her and told her and told her (should I say it once more) not to do the watering.
Today, I had to go out. I suspected she might think about watering so I went out early and gave the plants a little. I wrote a note IN HUGE LETTERS that she please NOT WATER! When I got home I noticed the hose had been moved and the plants were all sloppily drenched. I am friggin weary. I think I am going to unscrew all the hoses and put them in my closet. That way it may stop her.
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Book, sorry, but I have to ask...

What was the rooster doing in the bathroom? LOL!
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quick drive by...have to get ready for work. Yesterday, I went to the restroom at 630am, and a rooster is crowing outside our bathroom window - every couple of minutes. Actually - right outside of sis bedroom window. I go out. And discoverd oldest bro had his prized weird looking rooster penned right outside of sis ONE open window (all others shuttered and NO air con in that room). I was pissed off. That rooster kept crowing even when I was changing dad's pampers - up to 715am. How early was that rooster crowing? Who was idiot enough to put the caged rooster outside of sis' only one open ventilation right outside of her window? I text SIL. Came home.

This morning, in the bathroom, the rooster is crowing! I guess this is their land and they can put their rooster wherever they want to. I was pissed off. I changed dad's pamper. Open the kitchen back door to air out the kitchen. And found our screen door was closed crooked. It's stuck. I tried pushing it. Won't budge.

Now I'm really pissed off. Sis knew this door is crooked. Our 2 adult nephews were home yesterday. Why didn't she ask them to fix it? Oh, No! It has to be me to do it.

So, I text SIL to ask if her son can come and fix the screen door. then 2nd text was pissing off that Sis knew this and could have asked her sons yesterday, why wait for me? Then after some fore thought, I text final: Why am I worrying about the rooster bothering Sis? Leave the rooster there.
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Toomuch, have you thought about doing a background check on her? That may be very revealing. In fact, I would ask her to see her driver's license and tell her insurance needs it to verify she and son are covered if something happens in the home. Do you have her Social Security number?
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Ashlynne, like Tricki Woo in "All Creatures Great and Small"? I loved the description of a Pekinese joining in the scrummage..!
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If the hydro goes out I have a large generator but still have to get out to the shed to fire it up in pitch darkness. Some things don't occur to you when you live in a town or city.

The elderly tend to overfeed their pets. My mother was always doing it and when I inherited her little dog she was obese and obnoxious. Been 18 months now and she's become a "real" dog lol
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Our cats tend to blend in with the carpet, especially when we are going down the stairs and quickly have to realize we need to step over a cat who has taken up residence on one of the steps :)

kittyd, a person usually won't share their food with a cat or a dog unless they secretly love the animal.... they think it is so cute.... [sigh]. I have to keep reminding my significant other not to give the cats the left over milk in his cereal bowl, adult cats cannot tolerate it, even if the milk is Lactose-free. I always cringe when I see TV advertisements where someone is giving a bowl of milk to a cat.
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Kitty I hope your cat will be ok. I have 5 - 4 adults and a tiny rescue kitten. When I first moved here (out in the country, no street lights) the hydro went out one night and I tripped over my old guy (15) and broke my toe. A painful reminder to have a flashlight in my pocket at all times after dark.
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My mom secretly feeds table scraps to our nine-year-old cat after I've repeatedly told her NOT to. I've caught her in the act at least four times doing it. The cat had diarrhea two weeks ago and was vomiting last night and this morning. I'm taking him to the vet. My mom blames the cat for a fall she took two years ago and said, "He's probably sick. I hope he dies!!" I can't help but feel if my cat IS sick, she is part of the reason why!!
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Unfortunately there are two of them and I cannot afford it. Thanks for listening though. Think I am just feeling sorry for myself and had no one to unload on. I appreciate your kind thoughts.
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Im sorry to hear that Mary. Can she go to a Nursing Home or even a Personal Care Home (a home which has been turned into an Assisted Living Facility.)
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Hope, what you mentioned is the fear I have for Dad. There is a big sense of entitlement going on. If she goes shopping then she is "entitled" to take whatever she wants. This is my opinion is how scenarios that you mentioned start. Sadly, if it came down to me or her, my father would choose her, hands down. Not a sob story simply a reality.
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I feel like crying all the time. I am caring for my 96 year old mother and my eldest brother in my home. Their life was unmanageable in their own home and for the last 7 months they have been with me. Most days she is abusive to both husband and myself who do everything for her. She is not mobile and has to be assisted in everything she does. My brother has his own health issues and won't deal with the fact that my mother will pass soon. He accuses me of all sorts of crazy things. He is a good man and has taken care of her for the last several years until he could no longer do it. I am lucky that I still have a husband that will put up with all this. Some days are harder than others.
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Did I add that just as I got Mama all cleaned up this morning, Mama peed all over herself....fun times....who knew all of my preparation for a career was going to be so useful...NOT.....
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WHINE WHINE WHINE....wank wank wank.........now Mama has a LOOSE tooth in addition to the broken tooth next to it....Hospice is apparently NOT going to be responsible for this..which I understand ...somewhat...but in the interim, is involving themselves throughout the arrangement of all processes in my trying to get the pain issue resolved...they do NOT keep me in the loop...period. This morning I had to call the dentist's office and was told they were waiting on Hospice to let them know what dates WE wanted...if they're not going to handle, not sure why they're involved..but oh well, trying to ratchet my angst down a few decibels..in the interim get a phone call, my cousin who is the only human on this planet who ever stays with Mama has had a stroke and is in the hospital..thankful she is in there getting the care she needs which I have feared she needed for a while...sadly, she has been in there all week and she called to let me know when she didn't hear from me....the extended family didn't bother to let me know...sorry....but they want me to take care of her cat...which I am more than happy to do...for me, animals are one thing I have no problem taking care of because they ask nothing of anyone other than to be fed and not abused....and I have a houseboat full of relatives descending on us today..yeeee hawwwww.......head em up move em out......feeling like I have gone over the edge...
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Toomuch....I don't know, but if it is all as bad as it sounds...and I totally believe it is...then I think in addition to making notes of all the things that are going on, I would begin the process of getting that woman and her son out of your home...and in reality, if you are the one caring for your Dad, it is your home right now as much as it is his. In some ways, it is kind of like if your Dad was still at his former self...I'm assuming here he does have dementia issues, right? anyway, I would think he would not allow an interloper to just come in and take over. This makes me really angry because I have seen too much of it in my lifetime. I had a friend whose Mom saved her money and cared for her family all their lives...and then, in her early sixties, was tragically killed in a car accident. She had saved a substantial fortune for her family..over 1.5 mil....in summation, my friends Dad, early dementia, became totally smitten with his "caregiving HHA" who suddenly appeared out of nowhere...and in less than a year, she had taken over pretty much everything...ended up snookering the Dad, getting everything signed over to her, and he mysteriously passed a few months after....she was kind enough to leave $5.000 yes... $5,000 to each of the three remaining siblings...she got the rest....Surely there is some way to get this woman out of your home.. YOU are the one caring for him ultimately...not her...there has got to be a way...forgive me if I'm over simplistic...I just couldn't take it...I would have already hidden the bodies...
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Amen Ashlynne!
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Received a call yesterday from the activities director at dad's AL place. Said you dad wanted to talk to me. He asked how much longer he had to stay "there". Got him settled down as it has only been 10 days. Yikes! The director mentioned he has talked about being in jail? I stopped in very briefly yesterday morning I don't know if that set him off or not.
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Oh, and Glad - some people do BPC with decaf, or even with green tea.
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Glad - I've seen many people saying adding fat to the diet of someone with ALZ or dementia actually improves things a bit for them. It won't reverse the effect, but many have said that it helps a bit. The way I see it, as long as it's not detrimental to their health or adversely affecting any medical problem they have, it can't hurt to try.
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Glad Im Here, Ive given up. The sad part is my children have been staying with my best friend for 3 weeks. They confided in her how much they dislike having this woman in our home. The only way I will ever obtain peace is to move out. I cannot expect that things will change any other way. When its my father and me here alone. Its so quiet. We sit and eat together. We talk. Then he goes to his room,. I go to mine. He doesnt bother me at all. In the past year, he has gotten much physically stronger. However once my children come home, he will start competing for attention again. I can almost tolerate that over a complete stranger thinking she runs the household,
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Wonder what the Brain Octane Oil would do for my Mom and others with brain disorders. Could be scary!
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Susan, and coffee just puts me on edge. Must be something with the chemical reaction with the butter and oil.
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Glad - I don't use the Brain Octane Oil - I use organic, unrefined coconut oil, grass-fed butter and a little heavy cream. I swear, it's like lighting a fire under your butt! I feel more "even" - I don't know how else to explain it, but it's "fixing" something that was previously not working correctly, obviously.

I didn't even get all that upset when Mom left poo all over the toilet seat and a puddle of urine on the floor by her bed for me to find when I got up. And even now (1/2-way through my first BPC of the morning), while she sits in her chair, telling me "I'll shower in a little bit", I'm not really all that annoyed - it would have driven me crazy before.
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Cap, you are entitled to your feelings do not begrudge you that. The world needs people who can make the hard decisions, wars are won and lost on hard decisions. You are a good man to care so much for your family.
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