I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Hope you have me cracking up "hose and girdles" two phrases I have not heard in years. Its amazing how people feel up to doing things when they want to. I know very well about the do gooders who want to be seen and recognized. Im glad you have the strength and wisdom to see them for who they are.
Thank you for understanding that this woman has taken over and thats how I see it. However when my sister is in town,everything is peaceful. She takes her calls outside and doesnt act as if she runs the house. This only goes to show that the day to day behavior is deliberate.
In your situation...I don't know what to say....I know what I'd want to say to all of them....but I do know every situation is different...I just know I could not take it...I would be so p o'd that this person WHO YALL ARE PAYING is basically taking over your home....Oh man, it makes me angry thinking about it....I know the infamous day the home health lady came to bath Mama and this was one whom we had not been having...this one started ordering me around...it was the last time she came here I can assure you......not having it in my home....bless your heart...
This is an employee, not a relative. As much as my siblings say my opinion counts, it doesnt. Ive brought her behavior to their attention numerous times. She knows that as long as Dad is happy, my opinion doesnt count. So I have to put up with the daily nonsense.
china will respond with hot looking nanny robots . its no joke . one of em just treated me for hepc at the indy va . " lilly " 30 years too young -- good one god ..
i think they were all hot looking robots . had my d*ck jumpin around like a compass in a whirlwind ..
I order groceries from an on-line grocery service which I think is great, never had any problems with the items.... but for some strange reason my Mom has numerous complaints about the items.... anyway, she didn't want bananas from the service, she wanted me to go inside the grocery store.... told her I was too busy. If I start going back inside the store for bananas, then the inside list will start growing and growing.
I wanted so much to say, "if you had moved to Ashby Ponds [retirement community] you could get bananas every day from the grocery store". My parents are still mobile, and the community has FREE transportation to the grocery stores.
Mom hasn't worked outside the house since 1946, she doesn't remember how busy she was when she was married, working full time, and running her own household.
My mother is not particularly religious, but she is self righteous. She is NPD, and her dealings with her synagogue are like this: she tried to get into the rabbi's 'inner circle', but was unsuccessful. They didn't seem to ostracize her at all, in fact, they seemed quite welcoming. But my mother didn't appreciate not being included at their table at functions. She reported to me that "they relegated" her to one of the other tables (with other recent widows, and people her age--the NERVE!! Lol). And so, she stopped participating, and I noticed her annual donation was a bit smaller than last year's.
W/my mother, there's always a "push/pull" sensation. She wants something elusive from people, and she has such contempt for those who might actually provide it. The one neighbor who looks out for her is a devout Christian, and my mother will "allow" her to help, but will say to me (in a very condescending, contemptuous tone) "she's SUCH a Good Christian Lady." I'll think, "YES, she IS! And you're DAMN lucky to have her!"
I wake habitually at 5 or 5:30 a.m. This is/are my hours that are totally to myself (or supposed to be). Usually--now usually---she (my mother) wakes anywhere from 7:30 to 9am.
But here I am enjoying my coffee in my sanctuary (my room). The house is semi-dark and quiet. But, guess what? She decides to wake at 6:22 a.m.! So I'm still quiet thinking maybe she's disoriented and will go back to bed. I hear her rifling in the drawers in the kitchen. "Oh shit", I'm thinking, "what is she looking for now"? Then I hear her come to my bedroom door and in a loud not-very-morning-like voice she calls out in this long, drawn out, "Hello"?
Now, this is where my bone of contention comes in. First of all, she respects nothing about boundaries or privacy for other people. (Incidentally, over the years I have been in counseling about her lack of respect that she's shown). It's all about what she needs at the moment. I'm thinking, "what if I was sleeping or reading or even had 'male company' (not that something like that would happen, but...). But the fact is that nothing that I may be doing is of concern to her.
So I answer (with frustration in my voice), "What Ma, it's 6:30 in the morning"? So I learn that she's looking for her damned diabetic testing strips. Really, I think, now? So I am annoyed and say to her that she could probably wait for at least an
hour and test before breakfast LIKE SHE USUALLY DOES! Then I will get up and find them for her. My quiet morning is now disrupted.
When I was a teenager or pre-teenager, she used to get up before us and make the loudest noise in the kitchen, banging pots and pans and just be loud in absolutely everything she did--even walking. Her feet would pound on the floor like she was angry. It didn't matter if everyone was trying to sleep in the house, she was loud and disrespectful.
I'm tired of excusing her behavior, saying that it's because she's ill and doesn't know what she's doing. Should I just ignore her disrespect? Apparently she has carte blanche when it comes to what she does.