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Kazz, I hear ya. My sister lives only a 40 minute drive from me and mom, but you would think it's 400 miles. She visits once every 2 months for a few hours and thinks she's done her bit. It makes me sick!
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No my sister is what you call a "career woman" has a cleaning lady and cant cook eats out most nights. She lives in Paris and works whereas im the bum stuck here doing nothing????? I just happened to be home when mum got ill? My sister would never claim to do better as she just wants to get back to her life as soon as she can then she can say ive done my bit then she will dissapear until xmas?
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Don't count on it. You will probably be hearing about how she would do things differently and better. And if anything happens to your cat her running to Mars wouldn't be far enough to ensure her safety. Should you maybe kennel you cat? I know I love my fur babies and I don't know what I would do if someone hurt them on purpose or by "accident". And why again are you the one taking care of mom instead of her? You shouldn't have to feel like a prisoner escaping prison just to take a vacation.
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Well guys i always find that if i have the place looking like a pin she has to keep it that way as if i leave a mess she wont bother ive written some instructions for her IE keep place as you found it!! and go and hide in Mexico if anything happens to my cat! i reckon that should do it!! Youve no idea the evil grin that will be on my face when IM the one sunbathing while shes cleaning up after mum boy im going enjoy every minute of it! I hope when i return she will kiss my feet with appreciation for all the hard work mum is.
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cm - that s disgusting.
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"thinking of dropping in" to his 90 yr.old mother's birthday. What a champ/chump. I feel sorry for the woman that is married to this piece of "man" if she is still alive.She better not count on him for anything.
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I should have done this on Monday but I've only just got round to it: my whine moment of that day was that the brother who missed mother's 90th birthday party last week called out of the blue to say he was an hour's drive away and "thinking of dropping in." Monday is my half-day, I had the car keys in my hand and one foot on the front door threshold. But what could I say? I hurtled to the shops and back and set about getting dinner for four.

Well, mother was pleased to see him; that's what matters. I wish I could have thought of a nice way to tell him not to hurry back again, though, all the same. "You mustn't feel you have to go out of your way…" perhaps?
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She wants to relax. Leave that housework for her so she can meditate while doing all the housework, dusting, laundry, it's such a Zen thing to do LOL.
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Ash, your mother said that to you? "Your sister is here to relax?" What is up with these folks?
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I wouldnt blame them with all those drunken tourists! yes they have a ZERO tolerance in Spain and its going to happen everywhere soon these young people are getting out of hand with drugs and drinking the spanish had no choice but to nip it in the bud! Drink is so cheap there so it causes problems! But where im going is a city very far from any beach so there will be a more select older crowd or families its the coastal regions you have to avoid this time of year! I will find the nearest irish pub and be fine! I dont drink much am too old for hangovers now!!! just to see people and and eat in some great tapas is enough for me! ive travalled all over the world mostly on my own and you always meet some nice people im quite easy going and will talk to anyone so i hope i meet some fun people!!
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Kaz keep out of the way of the Spanish police(Guardia Civil) they have gotten very good at fining people these days
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Ha! sooz55 you forgot the brown paper bag!!!!!!!
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Hopefully my last whine before i go away!! ive spent the whole day washing ironing cleaning and mum is crusing for a brusing! shes pushing it now asking me to do this and that i shouted at her that your darling daughter is coming in 2days get her to do all the phone calls etc im done now switiching to holiday mode and am off to a coffee shop to CHILL she really annoys me like get me to do all the crap before my sister arrives so she has nothng to do?
Yeh and to burst a blood vessel she said "your sister is here to relax" i tell you if it wasnt for my cat i would seriously consider seeking aslylum in Spain! get me on that plane NOW!!!!!!!!
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Ash in the US most banks will notorize your signature for free. i don't know if it is the same in Canada
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I had all mail from the old house redirected to me when the house was sold. I've just renewed it for another year and will continue to renew so long as my mother is alive but somehow government type stuff gets through to the NH. Just got off the phone with the UK pension office and her pension has been reinstated for another 8 weeks until they get the form back. Now to make an appointment with my lawyer so I can run into town to get my signature witnessed as POA. Bang goes my day, again.
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I think that ba8alou 's idea is excellent. All bills should go to the POA's address. Also just my 2 cents, that if anyone is taking care of a loved one in their home or the loved's home THEY should be the one with the POA.I told my mother I wouldn't let her cross the threshold of my home unless she made me the POA, I am an only child and fortunately for her honest.
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Ash, can you have her mail forwarded to you? I think what we did was we forwarded all of mom's home address stuff to my brother who is poa. We gave mom's nh address just to friends and family. So that anything that has anything to do with money goes to poa.
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My whine of the week...you have to be afraid to say anything around her because she is likely to harp on it for days at a time. I love her but for goodness sake let it go.
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Ashlynne, that's my whine moment practically every day. Issues like your current one pop up almost every day. Sometimes it's a quick phone call, other times it can take months and lots of effort to iron out. I get the mail every day after a full day at work, and wonder "what will it be now?" Yesterday's was relatively minor, but it seems that it is always something.
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Here we go again. Some time go I had all mail except greeting cards held at the NH office for me to collect and deal with as I discovered my mother was just tossing them out. When the admin was away a few weeks back I guess one got through. Yesterday there was a letter from the UK pension service (we're in Canada) stating that as form xxx hadn't been completed and returned they're cutting off her pension and enclosing another form.. If the form isn't completed and returned they'll cut her pension off permanently so today will be spent on the phone to the UK. Does it ever end?
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Kaazzaa.... breathe.... deep breaths....close your eyes. Breathe.... In slow through your nose, out slow through your mouth... breathe... breathe...Forgive....be grateful for something.... breathe.....
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Freqflyer the easy way is far too difficult.
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Yesterday I was whining because of getting groceries for my parents, and I use an on-line service, but Mom still would like me to go inside the store to get certain items, which defeats the purpose of me using the on-line service.

Well, I dropped off the groceries this morning to my parents, before I went to work. Everything looked great. This evening when I called my parents, Mom said the watermelon didn't taste good, and why is the gluten-free bread so expensive [my Dad is trying gluten-free to help ease joint pain and it is working for him].... she said she doesn't like the on-line service, yada, yada, yada.

Unfortunately my Mom's hearing is almost down to nothing, I must have asked her a half dozen times "if you don't like the on-line service, what do you suggest I do since I don't have time to go into the store?".... but she couldn't understand what I was saying.

I know one time my parents came up with a brilliant idea.... I could drive them to the grocery store and leave them off [they are 92 and 96], then come back an hour later to pick them up.... I had to chuckle to myself, a hour later they would be in aisle 10 of 26 aisles. Yeah right, by the time I get home from leaving them off, throw in a load of wash, it would be time to get back into the car and pick them up.

Now, if only they would have moved to that retirement community.... they could grocery shopping every day as the community offers transportation and its FREE !!!
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Well susan i think every fulltime carer should have a cleaner its the one thing that frustrates the h*ll out of me if i wasnt here i could imagine rats here! Found mums OLD teeth today in a jar in the cupboard these cost her 400 and there they are so now we have a spare pair!!!!!!!!!! Beam me up!
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Kazzaa - if your Mum decides to fire the cleaning lady, ship the cleaning lady via parcel post to my door. I'll gladly take her in! I sure could use a cleaning person. I keep thinking that once we get all the work done in the house, it will be SO much easier to keep clean...if that day ever comes.
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Funny when i did go out here all the guys thought i was a NURSE? why i dont know id run at the sight of blood!
No i will just put my foot down she keeps the cleaner or ill do nothing and i mean nothing ive tried that approach. Mum thinks she has me where she wants me and can do and say what she wants as its her house but thats not going to last long she cant physically do housework so lets see?
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Kazaa, can you channel your inner nurse? "OF COURSE YOU NEED THE CLEANING LADY, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY HANDLE ALL THE CLEANING MYSELF" Someone on this board taught me the "I couldn't possibly do that" line. It's a real showstopper.
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freqflyer, I hear you. My mom currently on a mission to get my sister feeling so guilty that she'll retire early (63) and have Mom back living with her. She cites how Sis is always tired and her job is stressful (nurse). Nevermind that Sis will lose health insurance, income and decrease in her SS later on. Mom's of the old school where girls were to do whatever needed to make Mama's life the way it always was. ;-)
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Linda22, regarding juggling my own responsiblies, work and ordering groceries for my parents, my parents have many times suggested that I quit work to give me more free time..... they are of the old school where girls were suppose to be housewives when they grew up ;)
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Kaz my mother was like that too, just sat on her laurels and expected the world to run after her and bow down, though she refused to have anyone in the house. We had a cleaning lady for the last couple of months I cared for her and thankfully, although it was a house, it was condo house so there was no outside work.

Personally I can handle the dust, dog and cat hair for a while (so much to do outside with 2 acres this time of year) but I MUST have everything organized, put away and clutter free. Oh, and I also have a running list of all to do's plus a smaller list of what I want to achieve each day or two. I guess that's my version of OCD :)
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