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Psaue - my Christmas was fine, thank you. Hope yours was too despite the upcoming changes. Glad mom and bro are on the mend, and that you have dd to help with planning.

nacy - hope your hub is finally getting over covid and you got through all the festivities and had some down time too. It's important to be able to relax. Acceptance from family is important.

The hotel and waterpark were great. It's well run. The boys came to swim many times and had a blast. 🏊‍♂️ We will go back. No whines today,
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You have such a healthy attitude about your fam Nacy, but I know it’s taken you a while to get to that place. Thanks for reminding me about Golden. I hope she’s having fun.

Things here are chaotic. There are so many arrangements to be made I’m having a hard time keeping focused. I have to remind myself, daily, not to ‘pre-awfulize’. DD is coming up tomorrow to help me make lists and firm up the time line.

I’m glad to be almost through the holidays even though they were not really difficult. Might be harder to get through the dark days of January but at least I will be able to give DH my full attention now.
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Thanks, Nacy. I don’t know anything about your mom but I know mine has become more open-minded about things in the last few years. Your mom might surprise you, especially if you surprise her by being open and unthreatened by her reactions to your own life-choices.
Again, I know nothing about your dynamic, but in our family, it’s strengthened our connection and the siblings have become more connected as well.
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Golden, mom is moving pretty slowly but says she’s healing. Bro took his grand baby to the zoo today! I can’t believe he had a myocardial infarction because DH says his was incredibly painful. Sounds more like a warning shot across the bow. Also, they placed the stents through the WRIST! Not the groin, which involves some pain and recovery time. It’s amazing - just amazing.

How was your Christmas?
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Nacy, your brother sounds like he’s about 15 years old. Good grief.
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Help...
My mom needs support group caring for her elderly mom.
Is there a zoom meeting anyone can recommend?
Thank you
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Psue - Trust your mom didn't sustain any serious injury from her fall. Bruised tailbones can be very painful. Glad your bro's stents are in place. I hope he doesn't have any lasting damage to his heart. Getting paid??? Oh, dear. Wishing you and yours some peace for the next few days and a smooth transition into the AL when that time comes.
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Thanks Eva, Nacy, Golden. It was a whiney morning for sure. Mom slipped on the deck stairs going down to put on the hose bib cover and landed on her tailbone. I live 5 minutes away! And she’s seen me without makeup and in my pjs; I don’t know why she didn’t call!
Brother will be going home tomorrow with 2 shiny new stents in his arteries. Blood flow has been restored and he’s doing fine. No news yet as to whether there was much heart muscle damage. Time will tell.
DH has been mostly lucid all day although he did ask me how much I was getting paid to put him in AL. Hah; some joke.

Eva, wrong thread but how is your husband today - are they getting his pain under control? I’m sorry this is going to be such a difficult holiday season for you two.

Nacy, I hope your guy is feeling well enough to enjoy Christmas Eve.

Golden, I’m so glad R made it through the awful headaches and I hope you both have a lovely Christmas.

Ali and Llama, sending blessings……

To all the whiners on this thread, I wish you peace and joy this holiday season, and on we all go, until we don’t.
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Nacy,
I am so sorry about your hubby. Hope he gets better as I recall you have cruise planned.
Psue,
I am going to quote Golden, life is a B***h.
Too much for you to take for sure.
Hope Mom and brother will be well.
Hubby will adjust eventually. Takes at least two weeks or so, but I know it is hard on you.
This is not good month or year for most!
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nacy - I'm sorry your hub is not recovering faster. Hope being out and in the fresh air did him some good.

Psue - Sometimes life's a b****h and it sounds like that for you. Emergency stents sound scary. Hope your mom recovers quickly, and bro too. I know that's not in the books for dh. I am sorry his first visit did not go well, but doubt that indicates how well he will do when he is settled there. But for you that's too much. Ex wife or whoever can give you a shoulder to cry on - doesn't matter. Lean on who you need to, ((((((Hugs)))).
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Things are not going well here. Too much at once. Mom slipped and hurt herself (not severely but she’s 89), brother is in the hospital in CA having emergency coronary stents placed, hubs did not do too well on his first visit to the AL facility, and I cried on the phone with his ex-wife! His EX-WIFE! I feel like Chicken Little.
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Golden that’s wonderful - what a relief!
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Yes thank you, all. He looks and acts 10 yrs younger. Now to keep him this way.
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Golden: Such great news about R.
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Golden,
So good to hear R is doing better!
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Golden, that's REALLY good to hear R is doing better. You're in my thoughts.
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Many, many thanks for prayers. As of yesterday, R is much better. We had a great family brunch this morning then drove south, His head is pretty good. He is now delivering presents to a grandson for his birthday. I am enjoying some quiet. So thankful he is better.
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AnxietyNancy,

Yes, and I was confident that I would find an answer here. Safety pins didn't sound too good for socks, but clips did. I have a compression sock aid that helps me put them on. I fold them inside out over this half tube, press it down some, and then point my foot to place my foot in that hole. I pull up on the two sides of the aid, and when I remember to spray my legs or use baby powder, the socks slide right on.
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Thx again for prayers. He is too good at tolerating pain so doesn't say anything until it is pretty bad. It's more effective to take meds sooner for pain, but he doesn't like to take pills. Catch 22!
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AnxietyNancy,

Thanks for the clips idea. I found our small metal ones and they worked. Now, I can put them on much easier!
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Golden, I’m thinking about you and R tonight. I hope some relief can be found for his pain and you both can get some sleep.
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Golden: You're welcome. I hope and pray that R can get some relief soon.
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Llama - thx for the prayers. R 's head is very bad again this evening. Trying to find something that helps.

Way I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope the drs find some meds that help her. There is not much more that can be done. I know it's hard to hear her anger and blame. Please look after yourself and don't get too weighed down by this. It is out of your hands. (((((((hugs)))))

Ali - I used to use nail polish on panty hose too. Don't think I have used it for anything else but it is a good idea.

Psue - I am with you!

nacy - she pretty well did her own thing anyway didn't she?

TB welcome. Glad you are getting your mom into a facility. Caregiving often falls in one person's shoulders.
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My whine: I’m new to caregiving, my mom is 81, and we’re in the process of getting her into a retirement community. I’m the daughter (2 brothers), childless, semi-retired, and live closest to where she’ll be, so thus far, the bulk of the work has fallen on me. My brothers want to help, but one lives about 8 hours away, the other 2, and both have more standard work schedules. I’m trying to dole out some of the responsibilities, but it ends up being easier just to do it all myself. I’m not necessarily asking for advice, just whining!
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Ali, I never want to hear the word “pantyhose” again. ( ;-b)
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Last night, I was reminded of another way I mend clothes. 😄A friend is in town for the weekend, and we went out yesterday evening for dinner. I pulled a lightweight cable sweater out of my closet that I hadn't worn in at least a year, and during dinner, I noticed a tiny hard spot on the front. I noticed it just from brushing across it; it isn't visible.

I instantly knew what it was--It's a smidge of clear nail polish on what was surely a very small hole where any stitching would have accentuated the hole, but a drop of clear nail polish keeps the fibers from fraying. 🤓 I don't remember doing the repair, but I knew that's what it was. 😁

Anyone else ever used this trick for tiny holes? I learned it in high school because I wore pantyhose often (due to the dress code), and nail polish is, of course, a great way to stop a run. Just thought that was funny, and reminded me of the mending talk lately in this thread. It's neat to hear all the ways you all have learned to sew things, or saw your parents or grandparents do things.
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Way, I was missing a lot of pertinent info when I commented and should have refrained. I hope there is something that will help your sister. She's on a bad journey emotionally and mentally, and since she has your phone number, you get to ride along with her. 🙃 Anesthesia can kick off so many mental and physical problems, plus the LBD. That's a formidable combination. I'm sorry.
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Golden: Prayers for R. Bad headaches are terrible; I know as a migraine sufferer.

Nacy: Prayers for your DH.
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My nephew ( her son ) is POA.
Sis did well on Seroquel Oct 2023 when she had delerium after back surgery after a fall .
Not all sedatives can be given with Lewy Body either.

Before Lewy was diagnosed , They tried Abilify April of 2023 for delerium from metabolic encephalopathy and sepsis . She almost died , but went to rehab and then back home . She could not tolerate the Abilify in rehab , she refused it . A lot of tremors and other symptoms . She did well in rehab and went home that time .

At this point she now believes there is nothing wrong with her and does not need any meds. She will refuse all sedatives . She still googles on her phone . She insists she can take care of herself . She is often agitated in this loop quest to go home . She will only take her regular meds for BP , thyroid , blood thinners etc . Only months ago she knew she had dementia and even said she knew she would need to go to a facility soon . The past 4-6 months significant progression .
Anesthesia from back and hip surgery ( falls ) have not helped .

She left rehab a month ago and is in a very nice board and care . The other day my nephew took her to the orthopedist for recheck for her fractured hip ( 3 months ago ). When they got back she refused to get out of the car . The owner had to coax her to go inside .
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Way, Risperdol? That’s what DH was prescribed in the ER but I admit, I did not give it to him since he has maintained his calm since that fateful day and I read it can cause dizziness.

Golden, the tiger within me has tamed a lot since husband #1. We were both young and stupid. You can add ‘petty’ to my list but vandalism was better than what I wanted to do (and what he deserved IMHO) - he got off easy.
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