I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I said the exact thing that you did. I suggested that they hire a companion or caregiver for her mom.
Maybe you didn’t see my previous post, where I said that I knew someone who was a companion to an elderly woman.
She took her to doctor appointments and other errands. It worked out well for them.
Of course, Nacy shouldn’t be overwhelmed with her mom’s needs.
Her mom and her brother are taking advantage of her kindness. Some people view kindness as weakness, and will push others past their limitations.
Nacy will have to tell them that it’s becoming too much.
Since her brother isn’t able to do these things himself, due to working long hours, then he can easily hire someone to help.
Nacy posted that her family doesn’t want to pay for any additional help.
You will have to just stop then. Why do you continue to put up with this? Your mother and your brother need to accept that there's going to have to be outside hired help or your mother will have to go into assisted living. The best bet is probably to bypass homecare homecare and just put her in AL. If you want to try homecare first, you will have to neglect for a little so she and your brother will understand that you mean business and will not be doing this anymore.. Do not 'baby' your mother or cater to her. This always makes the situation worse. Get homecare. If she gets fussy or throws a tantrum about it because she only wants or will only "allow" you, let her. Give her the same choice I gave my mother. Either you make it work with the homecare aides or you get placed.
@NHWM
You know I usually agree with your good advice but I disagree with you about the Anxietynacy's brother. Having to work is not an excuse. Nor is it acceptable that he does nothing. The mother is his mother too. No excuse. If he can't put in companionship hours with his mother he can make arrangements for homemaker/companion service to go to his mother.
I work six days a week and arranged homecare for my mother. She knows that I am not at her beck and call anymore and my sister never was. She also knows that if she doesn't make it work with homecare, she gets placed and not placed in my home.
The brother can help arrange homecare.
Yeah, since he’s the golden child who has POA, your hands are tied. What a shame.
Need has a good idea .
Do you think your brother would be opposed to hired help for your Mom , even to be with her part time at home ?
Anyway , at some point your Mom won’t be able to live at home anymore based on what you have been saying .
Do you have any ideas of AL’s to suggest if/when “ it happens “ whatever that may be landing Mom in the hospital ? Since your brother most likely won’t .
Your bro will have to listen when she can’t walk anymore .
I get it , I dealt with Lo “ doesn’t have dementia “ naysayers too . It stinks .
If your brother is working two jobs, then he doesn’t have time to take mom.
If you find it is becoming too much for you to continually run around with your mom, tell your brother and your mom this.
Your mom can hire someone as a companion. I know a woman who did companion work for an older woman. It worked out well.
She took her to doctor appointments, hair appointments, grocery shopping, out to lunch or dinner, etc.
My youngest daughter is terrified of spiders. Several years back, a spider got into her car when she was leaving our home.
She noticed the spider when she was driving on the interstate and freaked out.
So, she pulls off and drives into a gas station and begs the employee to please get a spider out of her car. LOL 😆
Thankfully, the guy working at the gas station got the spider out of her car.
She called us before she pulled over to the gas station and was having a full blown panic attack.
Gershun,
I am with you. The flies are a pain if they come inside.
ITRR,
Interesting, about the pennies. I wonder why it works.
Golden,
I hope the rest of your day goes well.
Nacy,
I hope your mom feels better soon. Is your brother retired or still working?
In our area, Council on Aging provides shuttle buses to and from doctor appointments.
I always took Mom to the doctor because she couldn’t hear well and I needed to be there. She had one ear that she wasn’t able to get a hearing aid for. The other ear could only be helped slightly with a hearing aid.
Another thing that really works is to put a few bright, shiny pennies in a ziploc bag and hang it by the door. Keeps them out of the house great.
Moths and cedar spray really does work. I keep it on the door frames of the closets and they don't, so far, get into the closets.
Just some ideas from a person that doesn't do bugs in my space and will do just about anything to keep them away.
Good luck being rid of the pests.
Golden, one of those days! Hugs!
My bright spot was the groceries were delivered on time this afternoon and for the most part were what I wanted.
I am enjoying the brightness of having no blinds. The plants will love it!🌿🌱☘.
We've tried DE and recently started spraying cedar oil cause I've heard it will deter them from entering your domain. Before anyone says anything I know there are those who think it's useless but I'll try anything at this point.
There are so many flies this year too. Outside on our patio. I have to do a bug check every time I open the door. Summer sucks in a lot of ways. :P
Outside on the front porch, many spider webs, I had to duck to get back in.
Told dH about it, he was oblivious, standing in the web.
I am realizing that I can no longer task my dH with a lot of things, both of us needing a break.
What that "break" looks like at my house, is me doing what he was doing so he can have a break.
Outside temps are in 3 digits now.
Instead of sweeping spiders, maybe decorating early for halloween with more spider webs. That way, no one will come up to my door, lol. I am just sick.
Hint...I'm not one of them.
Thats sad about the little boy
Thanks . He wasn’t going very fast . He made the right turn off our block and alittle ways down the deer just ran out , hit the front right passenger corner . It’s a big heavy sedan but still dented the hood , broke the bumper , lights. , dented the quarter panel and bounced off the front passenger door , denting it and left literal sh*t on the door .
We love that car because it’s big and heavy and safe with a lot of trunk space .
Our other car is a small SUV . Which is handy for taller items that can’t fit in the trunk .
We keep ours a long time . My son just sold my 20 year old car that he bought from us 10 years ago . He used that most of the time and kept his little sports car in his garage. But now he has his wife’s ( newer) old car , she got a brand new one . He works from home anyway . He’s not putting a lot of miles on his cars .
I never envied the girls with big boobs. I had a friend who had them and I'm sure no guy if asked could have told you what color her eyes were. Just saying.😶
😂😂😂.
Black Cherries are back already. I recommend them for dropping a few pounds directly into the toilet! I cannot resist almost any fruit at this point, but mangos and cherries? Well, add a glass of keifer to that and you are set free.
As one who had one breast removed 35 years ago, and a good deal of the other just a couple of months ago, I feel I have little to contribute here other than that my daughter -- after years of pain--had a reduction two decades ago and is thankful to this day she did so. I, as an RN who saw all the ones that "went wrong" voted against, but as with so much in life, my vote just didn't count. Happily for her, for it all went really beautifully, figuratively and literally.
She went ahead iwith it at the age of 17. She became quite an athlete and was a happier person. It made a huge difference to her life. I was a nervous wreck about giving permission and second guessed myself a lot before the surgery but it turned out for the best.