I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
You’re correct about letting it go. I went through a disturbing period of ruminating about everything if I was stressed out to the max with life’s problems.
Not only did I drive myself nuts, I am sure that I was an annoyance to others around me.
The thing about chronic worry is, it doesn’t change anything, except to make things worse.
It took a bit of time for me to work through that awful phase of excessive worrying. We can pick up anxiety from those around us. We have to be careful not to let others emotions seep into our lives.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/09/well/family/caregivers-anger-illness.html?unlocked_article_code=1.9Uw.BDX3.QgAJpH1mVcq2&smid=url-share
When I'm being silly, I like to interpret in Disney's Elsa's vernacular: "Let it goooooo, let it goooo." :)
And there is a Sunday school song I think of lately: Brighten the Corner Where You Are.
How can anyone do that if they are burdened with *all of that?*
I'll never say what is right for someone else, but for me, letting things go that I cannot control, and giving them up to providence, has been freeing. Just sharing... It's interesting times, to be sure.
Fwiw, I'm believe I'm aware of the worst of things going on in the world. I watch Frontline docs during downtime or catch up on a global news source. But. What can I do about it? Sometimes I cry. I try to learn. And I come back to in-person compassion and altruism as something I CAN do for the world.
I'll definitely look up that Acceptance and Commitment therapy you mentioned Ali. I have gone for cognitive therapy in the past and it really didn't help. I think with anything (at least for me) I need to live it and what I mean by that is having a therapist talk at me is fine but if I don't really feel what they are saying it just doesn't work. In fact, usually it's something random that I hear on t.v. or read or something one of you good people say that makes me go "Yeah, that makes sense" that I get the most help from.
As for MIL's situation. It changes from hour to hour. Two hours ago the news was bad, she was throwing things at people and screaming and crying. Now the latest, she's doing really good. I'm frankly tired of hearing about it. If that makes me sound heartless please keep in mind that my in-laws are not people that I've ever had any kind of relationship with. My choice. Reasons for this I've stated on here before. How it affects my spouse is what matters to me and to see what it's doing to him truly bothers me and upsets me. He doesn't handle emotion well. He turns it outward into anger and I bear the brunt of most of it. So, I hope every thing turns out well for my in-laws but seeing as they are 88 and 94 yrs. of age and not in good health I look at every day as a Hmmm, what will today bring experience.
I completely get that. For me, I've become more proactive about protecting my mental health. Unfortunately, my self-preservation comes at the cost of being aware of local and global politics and situations and even being aware of my friends' personal situations posted on social media, but that's where I'm at with things. I simply don't pay attention to much these days, and instead, I focus on my immediate stuff such as school and work. Kinda sad to frame it as "one can't be socially aware or it's a detriment to them," but the 24/7 fear media cycle hasn't been good for us humans, imo. Just my thoughts. ((((hugs))))
That's just too much stuff going on. Concentrate on your recovery & better health to you soon!
File MIL's stuff under Other People. MIL's Husband is pushing for her to go home? Well... MIL & Husband can make that decision, they can own it & also wear the consequences.
During my hospital stay last December, there were a couple of times when the docs reading my chart were like, "This significant of a change doesn't seem likely, let's retest." They re-ordered labs, and then the numbers stabilized. Bad test results happen, so perhaps wait for the next ones to make sure of the changes you're seeing.
Re: sudden anxiety onset. Is there anything happening situational-wise? Is anything changing in your environment when you get a flare-up? *I read your most recent post about MIL, etc. So, yeah, more STRESS. Plus, the interaction of anti-b's on gut health and mood... take a probiotic/prebiotic or get yourself some fermented foods (probably the easiest and best way to help get the microbiota balanced, if you like any of them..)
I don't know if you're familiar with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, but I think it offers some good tools for combatting chronic anxiety. The concepts and techniques are simple enough. The trick is to practice them consistently until they are a new habit. :) I say that with a smile because I know about all these tools and tricks, and I don't practice them consistently when I get an overload/anxiety flare-up. Old habits are hard to change. It's motivating for me to know that there are simple therapies that DO WORK, and if I keep them in mind and keep practicing them, I'll have more mental tools to combat my anxiety instead of turning to soothing distractions or substances (food, etc.). I've resigned myself that I will never be rid of chronic anxiety completely. Having healthy tools is a good thing.
Just trying to be helpful cuz I feel for ya, Gershun! Either way, I know you'll keep on keeping on. Just want you to feel better. ((((hugs))))
When it rains it pours, right? I hope things get better soon. Sending many hugs your way.
I have had a lot going on this last year what with breaking my metatarsals which took forever to heal. My foot is still not totally right. When I get tired I start to limp again. Then I had a kidney infection. The antibiotics they prescribed did a number on my stomach. It's still not totally right. I really need to watch what I eat now or I'm having stomach cramps and the runs. (TMI, I know) Then covid hit with a vengeance. My hubs and I got it bad.
Now my MIL who I confess I've never had a close relationship with but seeing the stress it's causing my hubs is hard. She came through the surgery okay but has not cooperated with the after care at all. Her husband is pushing to have her released from hospital tomorrow which I think is a HUGE mistake but they'll likely release her anyway cause she isn't doing anything they ask of her and they need the bed for someone who will. How this is all gonna play out is going to be interesting and yes, stressful.
So maybe my old trick of "oh, I just won't think about it and maybe it will just go away" isn't working anymore and that's when the anxiety arises.
Everyone else hang in the best you can.
Missed your updates Sounhappy, and thought of you just this a.m., wondering how it is going. So correct that anything in the legal system goes on and on and on with usually the losing side asking for continuances and delays. Hope that at least means it is swinging in your favor.
He is the sweetest pooch!
I would love to have another dog but my husband says that he doesn’t want the responsibility of owning another dog or cat.
Hubby is happy with having our daughter’s pooch occasionally and then giving him back to our daughter.
After our greyhound died I didn’t think that I could go through losing another one but after spending so much time with our daughter’s dog I find myself wanting another one.
Our daughter seems to be smitten with the new guy in her life. He loves her dog too. Hahaha, he FaceTimes with the dog!
This dog is super smart! He got all excited when we arrived at the airport because he thinks that he is picking up my daughter’s boyfriend or another one of her friends that visit her. He has an incredible memory!
Seems like we all have DH's with health concerns. I and my hubs recently had covid and for some reason my DH's bloodwork came back totally changed since he last had bloodwork in August. His blood glucose is way up. His liver functions too. They were fine in August. So we are waiting a month till we are sure covid is out of his system and will get them redone.
I personally have felt different since getting covid too. Can't really place exactly what but one thing I do know for sure is my anxiety has risen. I can be fine one minute and the next will feel really anxious. It's an unsettling feeling.
Anyway, I hope all our spouses problems will resolve themselves and that we all will be great.
Today I had my front tooth remenents removed ( it broke off on Friday) and had a bone graft placed for the eventual implant.
Then off to NYU to get DH's ureters scanned. One seems quite swollen, no idea why.
We were supposed to get on a plane on Monday for 3 weeks of vacation, but we pulled plug at the last moment.
I have to go outside and transfer our grand puppy from our daughter’s car to our car. He’s driving to the airport with us to drop her off.
She’s involved in this long distance relationship! We have the dog again!
He will discuss it further when he sees his doctor.
Thank you all so much for your comforting words and support. It’s very much appreciated!
You’re most welcome. Hang in there!
Pulling for everything to work out as you would like it too. Waiting is so hard. I hope it isn’t too much longer.
Legal process on-going. Pleeeeease let me win. And please don’t let it drag on and on.
Thanks so much. Your kind words made me smile. 😊
Need, I wish you strength and calm and good news re: your honey. Hugs to you from here to there. (stuff a glove and hold it - that’s all of us holding your hand)
I do like how thorough the doctor is being. I went through a lot of anxiety when I cared for my parents. I’m trying hard not to allow this to happen now.
My husband is the love of my life. He has been my rock for over 40 years.