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Have written myself a prescription: get a little cat asap.
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Tired + Fatigued = Exhausted.

FIL ….I want to be taken out for dinner .

Me …..Sorry I am way too tired to go out .

This is my new truthful answer .
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This won’t solve anyone’s problems, but you’ll instantly feel better. Video of cat mom.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx9wi-HgXnM
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2:30am my mom is screaming bloody murder, came 'rolling arse' from her bedroom. Says "A roach is in the bathroom"
I said "Maybe you're hallucinating"
She said "I certainly hope not"
That was a funny answer lol.
Low & behold there was a roach in her bathroom. Hahaha
Got a broom and solved the problem. But sheesh what a way to start the morning!!
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Need: You're very welcome.
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Thanks so much, Burnt, Beatty and Cat

I was sort of surprised when my friend told me that she going to stay with her son. I wouldn’t have thought that her DIL would want her to live with them.

Years ago, my friend was skeptical about her son marrying his wife. His wife is about 10 years older than her son.

I told her that it’s up to her son to decide who he chooses to spend his life with and it doesn’t matter if she is older or has children from a previous marriage.

My friend did accept her daughter in law when she saw that her son is very happy with his wife. I just hope that this is only a temporary thing because it certainly adds stress to a marriage when a parent moves in.

I speak from my own experience! My husband was supportive of my mom but I am well aware that it was a huge sacrifice for him. I wouldn’t make the same choice if I had to do things over again.

We don’t think about these serious issues when we are young. When situations arise we are blindsided by them.
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Need, I'm so sorry about your friend. Glad she'll be in good hands & u can visit and call her.
My thoughts & prayers for all who need them.
God bless 🙏
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Kind thoughts to you all today.

Especially TG, with such a recent loss & to Need & her friend moving away.. Big kind wishes.
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Thanks, Burnt

My friend’s daughter in law is a retired nurse so I know she will be in good hands. Plus, she will be near her precious grandchildren.

I am going to miss her terribly though. We’ll have to talk on the phone a lot until I can visit her.
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Thanks, Llama
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Need: Prayers sent for your friend AND you.
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Pronker: Best of luck to you.💙
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@NHWM

Sure it will be hard to say good-bye to your friend, and yes there will be tears. It will okay though. You will not be upsetting her and I'm sure there will be some tears from her too.

Your friend is going near her son and will be getting the care she needs. You two can video call. It won't be the same, but it's something at least.

God bless your friend and I hope she has a good recovery.
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ITRR,

Thanks for reminding me about the laughter and joyous moments that we share with our friends. There have been countless times when we have laughed at so many silly things that we have shared with each other.
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Thanks, MD

I am always grateful for prayers. She could use a whole bunch of prayers right now.
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Thanks, Pronker.

She knows that I am going there later today. I’m predicting that we will both end up in tears.

I hope your friend will be able to spend time in her garden again. I have been enjoying seeing the hummingbirds and butterflies. They love my plumbago plants near my patio.

You’re right, ITRR.

It isn’t the first time that we have cried together. Thanks for reminding me of these moments in our lives.
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Need, good friends expect tears and laughter and more tears when they are going to be separated in geographic distance.

Hopefully it is a refreshing, soul cleansing, until we meet again my precious sister and dear friend, kind of visits.

She will be missed and should know. Hugs! This is a hard new season in life.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. She's got a good friend in you --- sometimes we just can't help crying. I cried when my friend phoned me with received news that her July 15 operation to fix a knee got postponed until Oct. due to the anesthesiologist's June 23 diagnosis of a possible mini-stroke. The anesthesiologist didn't wish to risk anything until later diagnoses, but my friend had /so/ looked forward to the operation so she could garden again.

Would it help if you called her first and maybe cried if you so felt like it, then it wouldn't be in her presence? Many sympathies to her and to you.
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I’m afraid that I will cry when visiting my friend. I don’t want to upset her. She’s been through a lot of changes in her life recently.
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All the best to you, Pronker!
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@97yroldmom Thanks and hugs back (( )) /like you do too/ Yes, I'm feeling it's a part time "job" in one way! I'm still landladying with in house tenants and that's a "job" too. All in all, I feel so much better than I thought I would after cancer op June 2022. :D EAD: just read on the forum topic re caregiving and her taking a walk with me is something I'd not thought of... a possibility ...
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TG,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It’s heartbreaking to see our parents decline. I’m glad that your dad is in a nice facility.

So sorry about the loss of your brother.

Sending hugs and prayers your way today.
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TG
It is hard to let go when you have been the primary for so long. I have seen that more than once with families. Your dad is a lucky man with two children who are able and willing to care for him. Your own life span has most likely been extended and also that of your wife by this switch in dads care plan. It is so very stressful.
I’m sure you know that hospital PTs often recommend rehab for patients when they see how much it is needed.
It appears that things have calmed between you and sis and you are working together. That is also good for dad. He will feel safer if he realizes it is not up to him, that his kids have got this. Of course, not every one is able to trust to that degree and it may take awhile. He didn’t get to be himself without a few ideas of his own.
Thanks for the update.
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Well, my friend is leaving rehab and moving about two and a half hours away to be near her son.

I am going to miss her being so close. We have been friends for many, many years. I won’t be able to see her as often now. I guess she will be doing home health when she gets there.

I am going to visit her later today. So, I will know more then. It’s so interesting how strokes affect people.

Some people are able to recover very well if it isn’t a serious stroke. Others are never the same after a serious stroke. My dad never completely recovered from his stroke and my best friend died in the hospital after hers.
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Pronker
So glad to hear from you. You sound great and what a happy whine.
But I know what you mean. She has to do 15 hours, so that may feel like you do too! Glad she is a delight and you have a pleasant person to spend that time with.
Big hugs to you.
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*whiiiiine* My county's IHSS assigned me 15 hours weekly with someone who is a delight. I'm now able to do a lot more than in 2022, so it's occasionally a brain breaker to think of things for her to do. First World Problem, ahoy! :)
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TG, leave your dad where he is. He needs long term care and he will be eligible for Medicaid if he has no assets.

Do NOT bring him back and try to get him admitted to the place you are thinking of. He needs facility to facility transfer (hospital to Rehab, rehab to LTC). If you discharge him and take him back into your home you will end up on a VERY long waiting list.

Let your sister have a turn.
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TG - don't fight your sister on this when it comes to the location, be grateful she is able to accomplish what you were not able to.
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Update on Dad, he is in rehab out of state. Sister put him there after a week in the hospital. Needs PT and OT. They both say it is a nice place. He hasn't complained yet.
She is going to start the process of talking to him about permanent placement due to both our houses are not safe. Her 2 story and my 3 story. neither of us can care for him 24/7. It will cost me huge money I don't have to add on to my house and will take time.
I have a plan through our fraternity to care for him. It is closer to the family for him is good,
Will see what the next 2 weeks transpire.
A lot for me to process, It will be very good for my marriage. Better for me for my business. Very hard to let go. My sibling is all for it but I am the one who did the caring and all the work for 10 years. I know it is best but still very hard. It may happen or may not then I am back at square one where he may be back here at home with me if he says no. I am in purgatory in my head right now.
He is slipping a gear or two memory wise but I feel that is due to the meds. He actually asked my sibling for depends to wear all day because he cannot make it to the bathroom fast enough. He can't walk without a walker. This is all telling me it has to be but dam this is hard. Has been a rough few weeks, Dad getting sick and my brother's passing, and having to deal with my sibling.
Thanks for listening, will keep things updated.
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Tgengine
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and the sibling drama.
Your sister sounds as if she is going to have a stroke if she doesn’t settle down.
Your poor dad. You have cared for him so long. I hope sister calms down and you can communicate about his care. Dad is where he needs to be. Good that you insisted the ambulance be called. Let him go to rehab and you and sis both get a bit of reprieve.
Come back and let us know how he is doing and how you are managing.
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