I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and the sibling drama.
Your sister sounds as if she is going to have a stroke if she doesn’t settle down.
Your poor dad. You have cared for him so long. I hope sister calms down and you can communicate about his care. Dad is where he needs to be. Good that you insisted the ambulance be called. Let him go to rehab and you and sis both get a bit of reprieve.
Come back and let us know how he is doing and how you are managing.
She’s not doing so well after her stroke. She has it in her head that she is going home soon. She’s not.
I wish that she was going home soon. I’m doing all I can to emotionally support her but she seems confused about her situation. Either that or she is in denial about her condition.
Not knowing what is going on is the worst.
My mom used to say that sometimes she felt like a guinea pig. It’s process of elimination at times.
Thanks.
Actually it is worse. Although amazed at speed for all the tests done and how seriously drs took his case.
But, no idea whatsoever, at least if there was something treatable there would be solution.
All they are sure about, this is not because of Parkinson’s.
Same. The doctors were amazed with my mother too.
My father had heart issues, diabetes, bladder cancer, prostate issues. gallbladder issues, gout, allergies, high blood pressure and other things.
Mom had no major issues except for her Parkinson’s disease and dementia towards the latter years of her life.
I remember when I was a teenager going to see her in the hospital for a partial hysterectomy. That was the only time that she had been in a hospital with the exception of giving birth. I heard her tell her nurse that she felt like she was on vacation because she wasn’t cooking or cleaning. LOL 😆
Not just lab, he had every test done, for every organ. MRI, Cat scans, all of it.
He really is medical enigma. Drs are amazed that he is as healthy as 30 year old. No infection, heart problems, stroke.
Yet, movement got bad or almost none in one day!
We do get a fair amount of rainfall in New Orleans. It does cool things down slightly.
Evamar.
My mom’s labs were always good. Yet, like your husband, the Parkinson’s disease caused mobility issues.
My husband remains in hospital for 10 days.
All test done, all showing despite Parkinson’s he is as healthy as somebody half his age. So good news!
Yet, he is almost immobile and getting worse!
And Drs. are sure it is not due to Parkinson’s disease.
I am oscillating between despair and hope.
3 days later she received a call our other sibling dies, not expected but he had been sick for some time. All the arrangements had been set up by him already so nothing to do but show up.
My sibling had to take Dad to the funeral 4 hours away, It was in the middle of our vacation we were paying for so I did a there-and-back same-day drive (17 hours).
I arrived early and was there when the hearse showed up, soon after the family started to arrive, Once Dad arrived with my sibling the yelling at me commenced, I was just breathing, not sure what I did, something about Dadd falling at 1 am and couldn't get dressed, etc,.
He looked bad, I mentioned he may be dehydrated, then more yelling at me. I asked about pallbearers for our sibling and was again yelled at not to do anything. So the funeral home persons did all the work, even the guy in the dirty overalls and trucker hat and greasy hair got to carry my brother to his resting place, with no relatives. It was a Jewish funeral, (He had converted) we are all Protestant. No big deal, when the service was over Dad could not even walk, so a few people were trying to help him, my EMS instinct took over and I got him in his walker with a seat and had us carry him to the car like a chair.
They all left for the lunch I headed home. I got home very late and in bed and my sibling calls screaming at me he fell again and I have to come to get him. I said I would do the 14-hour drive in the AM but it sounds from what you just told me he needs to go to the hospital or a walk-in. After hearing the nos. I finally said, either you call the ambulance or I do but he is going now. If I come to get him and drive him home he won't survive the ride, he will be dead before I get him back here. She hung up on me. Oh, did I fail to mention she is a nurse?
She did call the ambulance, he is in the hospital, I thought a UTI but apparently low sodium, and she is blaming the meds he's on. Funny 10 years and all of a sudden it's the meds?
Now she is looking at rehab for him, More testing going on. MRI today, she said dad is slipping, He's been in the hospital for a week, of course, he is not in the right mind. She wants long-term care for him. There is no plan. No money. I have somewhat of a plan. Anyway, I still get yelled at for any reason by her when I call. Now I am taking the hands-off approach. I have been caring for Dad for 9 years in my home, she gets 3 weeks a year. Not only burnout but sibling issues now. Not sure why she is so ambivalent to me, always has been.
I left Dad with her for a week, and he broke, so I guess it's my fault.
That actually sounds fabulous! A summer home up north would be great 😊.
Maybe you need a summer home up north?
Maybe it’s a partial whine. LOL 😆 I would be a little upset about expensive perfume spilling. I like the idea of enjoying the scent though 😊.
The old posts from March (such as "is it wrong to hope someone dies?") are moved up because they resonate with others and they feel a need to comment, but I know you already understand that.
Oh, and if your news feed is filling up with threads you are no longer interested in you can choose to Unfollow those.
This a.m. I came early into Forum--about 6 a.m. Pacific time. It was LOADED with the most interesting new questions! I really had fun answering.
Now, only hours later, it is as though there has been some card shuffle machine takeover and all the OLD QUESTIONS, some from March (!) are back. And the great new questions are buried. Marched out into the ether somewhere.
I love Forum. Am on daily when I am home. And love new questions. But I seldom go back in pages 2, 3, 4, searching for new questions that might be buried amidst the old. Just me. Not that much time.
End of whine.
Await the violins (any strings will do).
That’s what I call a happy accident .
I knocked over my perfume (glass bottle). Cleaned up the broken glass. Now my whole house smells of my perfume. I love the smell :).
Maybe that was actually an anti-whine. I don’t know anymore if I’m whining or happy.
Thank you for the share. I too, would like a vent and appreciate you. Your a good daughter and It's tough, caregiving is tough.
I live in Florida, and my mother is in the state I grew up in, New Hampshire. I've lived in Florida for over 20 years. My 2 brothers and 2 sisters (all older) still live in NH.
My mother is not a mom! I don’t like her narcissistic personality disorder! I don't like her, but I do love her. If I don't respond in the way she likes, she uses her dismissal acts and ignores them. But love bombs when I go no contact. She love bombs by leaving voice mail and mailing me things like I miss you cards with Christian literature inside for me to read. I guess she thinks I am not reading the Bible enough? Truly, because I called her out on her ways, she feels I am the bad guy. Trust me, for an 84 year old woman who is self-sufficient, she knows what she does. I can not stand it. But, like I've said, I refuse to go cold, no contact. I refuse to be cruel like her. Thanks for letting me vent.
Our sense of humour can indeed be a superpower in times of need.
Let me explain why she is having trouble with both arms. She broke one arm awhile back, then had her stroke. So, she is in bad shape!
In spite of her misery, we find ourselves laughing about silly things. I’m glad that she has a good sense of humor. It helps to be able to laugh when we are feeling down.
Thanks . (((Hugs)))) back to you !
You described exactly how I feel ( felt ) taking care of my parents on my own for too long .
Caregiving does take away pieces of yourself . DH is feeling that as well , now that we are dealing with FIL futile efforts. It’s been tough with FIL being so stubborn and unrealistic and refusing care in AL. It’s difficult and sad to watch . And now on top of all that , he may actually go to rehab and torture himself with exercise that will kill him sooner, instead of aiming for restful comfort on hospice .
And yes I often tell posters to “ take their life back” .