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My brother is doing fine. He has to adjust to his new normal. His adult daughter will spend the summer helping him to adjust. She’s updating my oldest brother’s wife (but not to me). SIL has always been tight with information. If I want current updates, I will need to ask my brother’s ex-wife (since their kids will update her on their father.)

He was released with no home care visits. Fortunately, the hospital has a transition nurse program. They called my brother and after several questions said that he needed home monitoring hooked up to the hospital until he adjust to his new way of living... During the first visit, the nurse was shocked that he was living normally on a 13% heart rate until recently. He’s lost a lot of weight, weak and tires very easily. He will always need to keep the wheelchair handy. This info is all from when I was in Texas... lastnight, my teacher niece told me that my brother’s daughter FaceTime to them frequently. It is what it is... I will text brother after work today. Texting to the US Mainland uses up a lot of my $10 prepaid since it’s an international rate and not domestic rate. I’ll need to buy more cards. I’m down to 1 left.
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Will get up, go out for coffee, then get busy with a few things.

Thinking of you Book.
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The isolation gets to me, big time. Mom needs more care. Don’t think I am awful but when mom went in recently to a skilled nursing rehab facility it was the first time I felt that I could relax in my own home in a very long time. It was the first time I could go to the grocery and be relaxed while out of the house because I knew she was being cared for. I hate the isolation. I could go when I wanted to instead of waiting until hubby got home.

I went to see mom daily. I should have spent a bit more time on me. I was nervous about mom. It was the first time that she had to do SNF.

Now we have home health again. I know it’s necessary. It does help her and I am appreciative but all of my time and energy goes to scheduling PT, OT, and nurse visits. I have to be present because they instruct me on what is needed regarding her care.

It’s emotionally draining. I’m trying to make the best of it but I get so tired and I must admit lonely.

I would like to be with other people. I used to work, volunteer every week at my kid’s school, volunteer at the church fair and other fundraisers, meet friends for lunch or coffee, a little window shopping, library, different community things like our local farmer’s market and concerts in the park, botanical gardens, etc. Now all of that is gone.

I have been wanting volunteer to help pack boxes at our food bank. That may sound boring to all of you but I need to get moving again and that would occupy my body and mind.

How does everyone deal with with the isolation?
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Pity party today. My wife lives with her mother. 95 years old, in hospice, legally blind, slight dementia. I live in our house 10 minutes away. I give my wife 2-3 hour breaks every day to take the dog out, shop, visit friends. Mother in law gets anxiety meds to help control emotional outbursts.

Today I was called to get MIL convinced that she was in her own home. This happens about 3 times a month. Oh the wailing and consoling, I reminder that she is blessed to be in her own home with family and friends. MIL not convinced. She remembers she woke up this morning in her house. She wants to be taken to that house right now. About half hour later the guilt trip starts. "You two are making this up. It's my house, my money. Take me to my house." I listen but I don't take the bait. I remind my wife that this may not be full blown Alzheimers but it is an emotional trap. Her mother has enough memory to make her dangerous. Do not knuckle under. Her dementia will always win. See to her comfort and safety then leave the room. Call me again if you need to.
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Well,, after telling my Mom and Aunt to think happy thoughts about my cousin who has been ill , and getting good news from his Dr after his surgery.. my morning started with the news he passed late last night. Oh boy.. once again dealing with mom not being able to go.. her saying they will "blame"her for not coming ( no they won't.. they know the situation and I plan to send an email to cousin in charge). We did go and get cards today to send.. it's a rough day here.
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Prayers for you and your family Pam
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Pam, I’m so sorry.
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Oh Pam, how sad, I am sorry.

Could the cousin-in-charge perhaps ask your mother to do something as a contribution (e.g. choose a hymn, send a photograph, write a message for the service) to help lessen this idea that she'll be blamed for shirking? (As if.)
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I'm so very sorry, Pam!
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Pam, my deepest sympathy. It’s heartbreaking, to be blindsided like that. You are a blessing to your mother. Hang in there.

Buster, that’s not slight dementia. That’s dementia. Your arrangement with MIL is shortening your wife’s life, and has turned your marriage into a business arrangement. It’s OK to not be OK with that.
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Pam, so sorry to hear about your cousin, I will be praying for your family. Take Care!
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I would like to respond to NeedHelpWithMom. The isolation is very real when you are a primary caregiver, spending almost all your waking time being there for your LO. I know, I am in the same boat. About 1 1/2 yr ago, we hired home care attendants to give me a break once in awhile. I remember what a big deal that was, making that decision and making that first inquiry call! But now, more than a year later, I don’t know what I’d do without them. That break of a few hours a week, when I can get out and “be me,” makes all the world of difference in my attitude. Please do this for yourself. Maybe you could have someone come for a few hours a week and you could get out and do the volunteer activity you so enjoy? I hope you look into it. It will really make a difference.
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Thanks Mary,

You are right, of course. I do need time for myself. I have someone come every other week to bathe mom but I should hire someone to come so I could do some of the things I really would like to do.

Thanks for encouraging me. I appreciate it a lot. Hugs!
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I am sorry Pam to hear about your loss.
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Frustrated. We’ve been looking for long term care. Yesterday Mom was at the senior center & they called 911 because her legs started seeping so bad, b/p 211/120. After 8 hrs in the ER & me telling the Dr our desire for rehab to LTC. They admitted her under observation status which now after arriving here this morning will make placement harder than just a regular admission. So, might be taking mom home later tonight to put up with continues narcisstic behavior, mean & nasty!! We are prisoners in our home!! Medicaid signed me up for Public Partners so I could keep her LTC Medicaid open but why bother when it isn’t being used! Why do they do that!!!!! Insurance companies drive me crazy with this. She has Medicare, Medicaid & LTC Medicaid & I still can’t get a hospital status to start the process. What do I do now? We are so over all this frustration!!
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Physically I am okay I guess. The Big Drunk Baby MIL is still tantruming.

I’m starting to talk back to her.
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Mt daughter took me for a massage today, belated birthday present. The gal pulling my muscles apart told me I have tighter traps than athletes she works with,, what do I do? "My 88 YO mom lives with me".. she laughed and laughed! But I have to say after she was done torturing me, I felt better than I have in ages! Boy did I get her card! And the funny thing is next week I am taking my best friend who care gives her husband to a spa for a massage and facial for HER belated birthday present! I can get on board with this, at least once a month. I felt so energized afterwards! Back to work tomorrow after 9 days off, and of course mom is going Aunts for a week or so, hubs is taking her. If they had planned this better hubs and I could have gone somewhere.. but home alone sounds great too for a break!
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Pam,

Can you swing by New Orleans next time you go for a massage and pick me up please? Hahaha

So glad you had a nice time. You deserve it! Happy birthday!🎂🎁🎉
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Need help,, I would be glad too, if you take me out for some hurricanes on Bourbon street! We will be very,,, relaxed...
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Pam,

It’s a deal, honey! We will skip Bourbon St. though and I will take you to where the locals go. 😊
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Mentally I feel better, I’ve decided it’s not worth an argument when my mother starts her narcisstic behavior, I ignore her now.
Physically not so well. Have a hx of degenerative disc disease with previous steroid injections & the radiating pain even at rest & tingling has returned. Saw ortho today, set up with MRI & injections. My helping Mom up, all the bending has come to a halt. I’ll have to get some help with showering as my husband has no desire to help her out of the shower. 😳
Its rough to be a caretaker!!!
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Lostinva,

Ouch! So sorry. Hope you find good help and hope that you will feel better soon.
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I don't know if this qualifies as help to all you wonderful caregivers. My MIL died in her sleep last Tuesday. My wife, the caregiver, is having trouble regaining her balance. Her much loved mother is gone. But caregiving has taken its tole. Back pain from constant changing and transfers. Gained weight from snacking instead of a good diet. You caregivers know the drill. Lack of sleep, no time for yourself, phone tag with doctors offices, robocalls from hotels you never stayed in, constant laundry. And I must pass on the greatest trick from a hospice nurse. If you are cleaning up from a "blowout", use a can of shaving cream with your wipes. Much faster. Cheers all of you angels.
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Buster,

Sorry for your loss. I suppose that is the easiest way to die, simply go to sleep and not wake up. I am terrified of that happening to my mom in our home. I wish that I would not fear it but I do. Especially if I find her and I am alone. I’m not sure that I can handle that.
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I was amazed how stoic I became with my mom her last week. I spent practically every waking minute by her side. I wanted to be there when she took her last breath. As it turned out I wasn't.

I always had this thought that just before she died she would wake up and see me there and smile. I hated the thought that she woke up and no one was there. I guess I'll never know.
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I am stressed over all of the paperwork needed for applying for veterans aid and assistance.

It’s quite a bit. I hope I can get it all done. Asking everyone for prayers please. Thanks.
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We took Mom to a health & rehab center today where she will be going to respite care in Oct while we visit one of our sons & grandchildren. We haven’t seen them in 4 yrs!! This place has skilled nursing so she is on the waiting list. Mom knows that. The admissions director tells Mom about the facility & takes her on a tour. Mom is cheerful, talking to nurses & when we got back to her office, she asked her “when can I move in?” It was explained that there were no rooms available currently & Mom replies, “ well, hurry it up”.
Honestly her reaction is too good to be true. She called a friend when home & told her all about it. I’m wondering if this is all put on because only weeks ago she’s accusing me & my brother of abandoning her.
I need help with her, fell again last night. With my back & my husband hurting his on the last lift, I called 911 for lifting help. They told her she gets 1 freebie & if falls again, she has to go to the hospital. She didn’t like that!
Just don’t trust mom with her behavior today. I think she’ll probably return to her ole narcisstic self by tomorrow.
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Lost,please do what's right for you and DH. Mom will adjust.
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Well today I am feeling pretty OK.. Time to keep up the "doing something for ME" and "no negativity" mantra I have been working on.. so here goes. I finally got new glasses a few weeks ago,, took DD to pick out the frames so I don't look like granny.. I love them! So yesterday I got my hair done. Normally I go 3-4 times a year for highlights to hide the "tinsel", and get trims to my sort of long hair as needed. I told my trusted gal to "do what you will",, we went back to my reddish caramel highlights that I used to do,, the blond ones were looking washed out with my brown hair. And I told her to cut it,, it is now just under my chin.. and hubs and I love it.. but especially the color is a big change. And I friend I have been sort of avoiding and I got together and went out flea/antique looking. had a great lunch, just piddled around. She was more upbeat today, didn't whine about work, etc the whole time so we are going to bump our friendship back up. I have really missed how she used to be before things got in the way.
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Way to go PamZ I'm going for a nail appointment soon. Gotta keep things up!
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