This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
We got that back though. It was definitely not a labor of love case there. Money, money, money!
No, you are not a terrible person! No taking care off an elderly person is not like taking care of a baby. Babies grow up. The elderly decline and die. What a terrible thing to say to a daughter that he said to you! What does your husband think about this? It would make me very angry and I would tell him so! This makes me angry just reading it!
Unless it's late where you live, call your father up and tell him to take care off his parents for you are no longer going to be a martyr and you have a new marriage to work on and hopefully a family to build which can't be done under the present circumstances period. Nor arguing or yelling, just the facts and no which is a complete sentence! If he has the boldness to tell you and your husband not to have a baby, then you have the right to tell him no! You take care of your parents or somehow else make sure they are cared for and safe. I'd give him 2 weeks to a month to get it all together.
So your Dad has PTSD and is depressed. So that's his excuse for you taking the brunt of this? You are on the way to having PTSD if you don't rectify this. You deserve a life, a baby, all those great things. Get your Dad, your siblings etc. to cough up some cash so you can hire someone to take care of your grandparents. If they start making excuses then you need to put your foot down and start making your own excuses.
I wonder how much money is spent on our animals. A lot, I’m sure. They are spoiled! I spend a fortune having my schnauzer groomed!
The short hair dogs are so much easier. My greyhound was a dream. No grooming at the doggie salon. He needed bathing and nails clipped but that was it.
Grooming for dogs cost as much as human haircuts. I don’t blame them for charging that much. It’s a lot of work!
Have you heard the latest political correctness with animals?
Apparently, we are not supposed to refer to them as ‘pets’ anymore. They are now our ‘companions.’ The term ‘pet’ goes back to Victorian times where we petted/loved on our animals and the name pet stuck.
So, is ‘pet’ project or ‘pet’ student, etc. all politically incorrect? LOL
The PBS show, NOVA is doing an episode on our relationship with our dogs next week. I can’t wait to watch it.
I’m glad you and mom were able to have a ‘spa day!’ I bet your mom enjoyed the pampering 😊.
I took Excedrin. I’m allergic to most sinus medicine, including Sudafed, Claritin, etc... My eyes or nose swells or severe rashes on my lips. I’ve had to find alternative means to deal with my severe sinus. I’m going to describe My exercise routine for sinus pressure. You can skip the rest of my commentary since it will be long and boring. I hope this will help with those dealing with sinus pressure.
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Before starting, I washed my hands. I did my usual facial sinus massage using 8 small circular motions on each sinus pressure points on both sides of my face. Eyes close. Starting from the most sensitive part between the corner of my inner eyes and nose bridge. 8 circles going one direction, then 8 the opposite. Ow! That really hurt. And it ‘felt’ squishy.
Then I moved to the next sensitive spots just above the inner eye brows. 8 circles + 8 circles. Then I moved up to the center of my forehead. While tapping that, I also used my tongue to tap the upper roof of my mouth. I repeated #1 and #2, but this time after the 8th circle I swished my fingers up and outwards in opposite direction.
Next is the nose. There is only 1 pressure point at the corner bottom. From experience, I now do the 8 circles starting from the bridge. Then move slightly down 8 circles. Continue until I reach the upper tip. I always feel sensitivity there, too. And squishy feeling. By this stage, my nose is beginning to run. Finally down to the actual pressure points at the bottom nose. 8 circles, then swipe outwards. 8 opposite circles, then swipe out. I stay a little longer on this area because it’s definitely draining my sinus both inside and outside.
Finally, the pressure point a little below my cheekbones. You may want to google a photo of it for accurate position. 8 circles, then swipe outwards. 8 circles opposite direction, then swipe outwards. Sigh... sinus pressure released and I can breathe from both sides.
I get it! Fellow allergy and asthma sufferer!
Feel better 💗. Stay well. Take care. Mega hugs!
The reason why I'm bringing this up is - I Almost Passed my Cholesterol Test!!!! … my cholesterol(H as in High), LDL(H) and Non HDL(H) went down. Everything is normal except the HDL which went from 154 to 108. I'm just 9 points over the optimal value... This means a lot for me. Because it was caregiving 2 bedriddens that got me there. And now, almost 3 years after Dad passed away, I'm almost normal.... It would be a BUMMER if I get the d*rn virus!!! I would be very pissed off! … Ohhh... {{{ knocking on wood }}}
I have a Maine-Coon cat. I take her to the vet when the weather is warm and she gets shaved except for her head, bottom half of her legs and tail. She gets a bath, nails clip, and teeth clean. Then she gets blown dry. When she is done she looks like a small black loin. Lol And man it cost a lot, but she is worth it!)
Book, great it sounds like you are doing just fine. Keep it up.
Elaine, I have heard that Ragdolls are easy going, are they?
My Maine Coon is shy. She doesn't like anybody but my SO and myself and she will bite if you pick her up and she doesn't know you or if you brush her to long--like for 10 minutes. She hates being brush!!
Did my usual cleaning of the bathroom today instead of Sunday. The temps here on Wednesday were near 80, Thurday mid-70's, Friday mid-60's, today about 70 again. Tomorrow? One of the lowest temps for Easter expected. A high in the 20's with snow. Brrrr!
Today the yard was power raked and cut short, hopefully get that old JohnDeere in for yearly service before it needs cutting again. The guy that did it is a firefighter, so gave him a bit extra. Such a hard life for those first responders now.
Have a great and cheerful Easter all! Be thankful for all you have in spite of the crazy world right now. Cherish your loved ones.
shell - they have hairier paws than any other cat I have had but not tufted. They both have gorgeous thick coats medium to long haired. Rocky has a small ruff around her neck and a tiny goatee. Pumpkin's coat is the longer and is as soft as could be. She has strange eyes - very round and soft looking. Rocky's eyes are very large and typical Maine Coon shaped. They have lovely fluffy trousers and tails. 😊 Pumpkin is very spontaneous and rushes at anything she wants. I worry about her going on the road in front. She acts before thinking and there is a pesky squirrel in the trees. Rocky is extremely alert and careful. and a one person cat (me). She surveys the territory and takes everything in before she moves. They are so interesting!!!
glad - a different Easter for sure. I am roasting turkey thighs tomorrow. Love the smell of roasting turkey. I have a canned ham (poor substitute, I know) but can make it work, Next grocery order i will get a proper ham. I have some mint chocolate which is a fave of mine for treats and got some fresh raspberries which are awesome. I had to taste test them tonight!!! I will probably have asparagus with my turkey, and maybe roasted cauliflower.
You have had great temps We are still getting a little snow.
Everyone Happy Easter or whatever other holiday you celebrate this time of year. It is different but still can be good. We have much to be thankful for.
Then I discovered the kitchen sink and pipe is leaking (water on the floor.) Nephew fixed it. But, I think I reached my limit because I started crying. I don't cry. I hate crying. Crying gives me a d*rn headache. I was finally able to stop it but not before the pounding headache came. It was just a standing there letting the tears fall down. No bawling my head off. And I still got a headache from that. Now, I feel 'off'. I think I was so busy coping with the virus stress, money, work - and didn't realize I was going through depression again. One day at a time. Gotta go dig up that song....
By the way, I almost thought the ragdolls were raggedy Ann dolls until further reading. Nope, you all weren't talking about dolls. =)