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If you are new to this forum, please know that you are cared for during your caregiver days and beyond by the members of this forum.



The insight and support from this forum meant the world to me when I was a caregiver for my mother.



My appreciation continues on for all of the contributing members of this community.



Every single one of us will experience grief in our lifetime. Each of us will grieve in our own way.



Some of us will celebrate the lives of those we lost.



So, I decided to post poems and quotes to honor our thoughts on grief and celebrating the lives of those we lost.



Please feel free to add your thoughts, prayers, poems or quotes.

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Grandma,

Those are fabulous!
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I have several quotes hanging on the calendar above my computer.
Some have already been mentioned but here are a few.

Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how broken your heart is.

Grief never ends
But it changes,
It's a passage not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love.

From a movie, 3 Weddings and a Funeral
Funeral Blues
W. H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with the juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and, with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin.
Let the mourners come.
Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling in the sky the message:
"He is dead"!
Put crepe bows around the white necks
of the public doves.
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
I though that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
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The Star -unknown

A light went out on Earth for me,
The day we said goodbye
And on that day a star was born,
The brightest in the sky
Reaching through the darkness
With rays of purist white
Lighting up the heavens
As it once lit up my life
With beams of love to heal
The broken heart you left behind
Where always in my memory
Your lovely star will shine
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Your Mother is Always With You -Deborah Culver

She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.

She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself.

She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.

She’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day.

She’s the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep. She’s the colors of the rainbow.

She is Christmas morning.

Your mother lives inside your laughter.

She’s the place you come from, your first home.

She’s the map you follow with every step you take.

She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy.

But nothing on Earth can separate you.

Not time.

Not space.

Not even death.
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If any of you have written songs about grief or celebrating your family member’s life, please share those too. Or, if you would like to post the words to a favorite song pertaining to grief, please do.

I would love to read all poems, songs, quotes, prayers or thoughts on your personal journey.

Losing a parent is hard. Losing a spouse or mate is devastating.

Losing any member of our family is hard. Losing a child is almost unbearable.

Losing good friends, coworkers, neighbors, etc. is difficult too.

Somehow, we move on. They aren’t forgotten. They live in our hearts forever.
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Midwest,

Thank you so much for sharing this very personal poem with us. It’s beautiful!

Did you read the poem that Alva wrote earlier on the thread? It’s lovely!

Funkygrandma was the first to respond to this post. She wrote something beautiful about her husband as well.
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I began writing my grief poetry right after my husband died. It has helped me immensely. I included a couple that caregivers might especially understand.


I thought it would be hardest
when your breathing stopped.
But when the kind young woman
wheeled you away,
I was simply undone.

………………….

I glance at the clock
every night around eight—
time for evening pills,
even though you’re no longer here
to swallow them.

…………………

a haiku

shoulders turned inward,
a weighted mantle of pain
slowly starts to lift

……………….

Most nights now I wake up
every hour or two—
not anxious or afraid,
perhaps to see
if you still need me.
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Angel

- Sarah McLachlain wrote this song about the death of the musician Jonathan Melvoin of a heroin overdose.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always some reason
To not feel good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
Then you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time

Its easier to believe in this sweet madness

Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
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Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing

He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul,

He guides me along the right path, for his name’s sake

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness of love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
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Remember Me

To the living, I am gone

To the sorrowful, I will never return

To the angry, I was cheated

But to the happy, I am at peace

And to the faithful, I never left

I cannot speak, but I can listen

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard

So as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea

As you look upon a flower, and admire its simplicity

Remember me

Remember me in your heart,
Your thoughts and your memories,
Of the times we loved,
The times we cried,
The times we fought,
The times we laughed,
For if you always think of me, I will never have gone
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Afterglow
-Helen Lowrie

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one

I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days

I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave when life is done
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Let Me Go
-Christina Rossetti (Victorian poet)

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that once we shared

Miss me, but let me go

For this is a journey we all must take

And each must go alone

Its all part of the master plan

A step on the road to home

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go to the friends we know

Laugh at all the things we used to do

Miss me, but let me go
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She is gone (He is gone)

- David Harkins

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want, smile, open your eyes, love and go on
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Love this post, I got a good one but I have to find it
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For sailors...

Fiddler’s Green
by Theodore Goodridge Roberts 

Never again shall we beat out to sea
In rain and mist and sleet like bitter tears,
And watch the harbour beacons fade a-lee,
And people all the sea-room with our fears.              
Our toil is done. No more, no more do we
Square the slow yards and stagger on the sea.              

No more for us the white and windless day
Undimmed, unshadowed, where the weed drifts by
And leaden fish pass, rolling, at their play,              
And changeless suns glide up a changeless sky,
Our watch is done; and never more shall we
Whistle a wind across a fest’ring sea, 
             
Cities we saw: white wall and glinting dome,
And palm-fringed islands gleaming on the blue.              
To us more fair the kindly sights of home—
The climbing streets and windows shining true.
Our voyage is done, and never more shall we
Reef bucking topsails on a tossing sea.              

Wonders we knew and beauty in far ports;              
Laughter and peril round the swinging deep;    
The wrath of God; the pomp of pagan courts …
The rocks sprang black! ... and we awoke from sleep!
Our task is done; and never more shall we
Square the slow yards and stagger on the sea.              

Here are the hearts we love, the lips we know,
The hands of seafarers who came before.
The eyes that wept for us, a night ago,
Are laughing now that we shall part no more.
All care is past; and never more shall we              
Make sail at daybreak for the grievous sea.
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All to myself I think of you -
Think of the things we used to do,
Think of the things we used to say,
Think of each happy yesterday.
Sometimes I sigh and sometimes I smile,
But I keep each olden, golden while
All to myself.

by Wilbur Dick Nesbit
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Alva,

I love that you mentioned aunts. I adored my mom’s sister. She was a wonderful aunt.
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My Mother Kept a Garden


My Mother kept a garden

A garden of her heart

She planted all good things

That gave my life its start

She turned me towards the sunshine

And encouraged me to dream

Fostering and nurturing

The seeds of self esteem

And when the winds and rains came

She protected me enough

But not too much

She knew I would need

To stand up strong and tough

Her constant good example

Always taught me right from wrong

Markers for my pathway

To last my whole life long

I am my Mother’s garden

I am her legacy

And I hope today she feels the love

Reflected back from me
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Alva, I love your poem!

I have loved poetry since I was a child.
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Adding to my own poem about losses, I will say I have an entire book of poems I have read that are all about loss. One I love is about our Aunts. I think we think of them seldom, but DO spare a thought to them, for some Aunts are so worth remembering.
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I love poetry, Need.
I dabble at it.
Here's one about loss I wrote in 2016:

WITHOUT REGRET

What I have lost.
Horses.
The wire-hair of mane and tail.
The leather smell of their tack.
My right breast.
A man: the innocent belief
That two souls could meld as one.
Smooth skin that snaps back.
A daughter: the years
That made who her she is.
The passion to pursue.
Euphoria.
My father. My mother.
Horses.
Their velvet muzzles.
The salt-foam of their sweat.

I am on the downside
of a goal I never noticed.
I passed it without recognition.
And, without regret, I know now;
Eventually it is all about loss.
end
I have been told it is sad. I hope not. It is about losses. Big ones and those that are smaller but burned in our memories. And truly, my losses are without regret. Only made of nostalgia and memory.
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The idea is not to live forever but to create something that will.
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Life is meant to be a celebration! It shouldn’t be necessary to set aside special times to remind us of this fact. Wise is the person who finds a reason to make everyday a special one.
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Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.
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A limb has fallen from the family tree that says, grieve not for me. Remember the best times, the laughter, the song, the good life I had when I was strong.
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My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived and let me watch him do it.
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Funky,

I love that. Brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.
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Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on the snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in the circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.
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One of my favorite sayings that I came across when my husband died was this...."I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you. And then I realized....you spent the rest of your life with me."
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