Rough statistics show that 30% of caregivers die before those they are caring for. Some studies show deaths higher. Illness that doesn't lead to death is rampant, as well - depression and auto-immune diseases are high on the list. Caregivers often don't find time to go to their own doctor appointments. They put them off, because they are too busy, or are just plain sick of sitting in clinics with their loved ones. Then things like breast cancer, which could be caught at an early stage, aren't found until the illness is much worse or even life threatening.
Caregivers are as important as the people they care for. If they abuse their bodies, minds and spirits while caring for others, no one wins. Support for caregivers means we must tell our stories and know we are heard. I hope we'll hear many stories on this site.
Tragically, your diagnosis is more dramatic than most, but skipping our own appointments is high on the list of things caregivers do that we shouldn't do. I did a lot of that and I still tend to put my own appointments last on the list. I must mend my ways. You are helping many people by going public with this.
Your point about the fact that finally everyone is worried about you - the caregiver - is well taken. Somehow, we are just considered the strong ones who can never go down. Well, we can. And that leaves everyone else without our help.
Please check in from time to time when you feel up to it, my friend. You have our heartfelt prayers.
Carol
I enjoy your comments!
Carol
Carol
Carol
While caring for my parents, not only did I ignore my own doctors/dentist, I also ignored that of my cats. They missed many a "senior wellness exam" because taking a cat into the vet takes nerves of steel, and my nerves had been unraveling over those 7 years of helping out my parents.
It is so hard to find ones "new normal" after being a caregiver. I don't know how people do it being hands-on living with a parent. I was totally exhausted being a logistical caregiver.
I also have seen articles saying the rate is now 40% for caregivers dying leaving behind the love one they were caring.
His siblings constantly harped on the fact that he was "mooching off her".
He died of a heart attack last week. The other 5 siblings are now trying to figure out "what to do with mom".
I think they are going to find out in short order just how much money and grief their brother saved them.
I am at that age where I read the obits in the newspaper, and I have seen too many times where a person in their 50's or 60's had passed, and the survivor includes an elderly parent who lives in the same city/town, and the siblings are elsewhere. Make me wonder if that grown child had been the caregiver.
I remember when my parents told me that I would be getting a nice inheritance. In turn I told them to use it for themselves as they would probably outlive me. They looked at me like my hair was on fire. They had zero clue about the stress I was under !!