Rough statistics show that 30% of caregivers die before those they are caring for. Some studies show deaths higher. Illness that doesn't lead to death is rampant, as well - depression and auto-immune diseases are high on the list. Caregivers often don't find time to go to their own doctor appointments. They put them off, because they are too busy, or are just plain sick of sitting in clinics with their loved ones. Then things like breast cancer, which could be caught at an early stage, aren't found until the illness is much worse or even life threatening.
Caregivers are as important as the people they care for. If they abuse their bodies, minds and spirits while caring for others, no one wins. Support for caregivers means we must tell our stories and know we are heard. I hope we'll hear many stories on this site.
Carol
Thank you for bringing this alarming and frightening statistic to the forefront. More research needs to be done on helping caregivers through their long battle and journey, It seems that there is too little federal support for research on caregivers.
Before your parents' declines, they would have been horrified at the thought that their care would have put you in this position. Try to remember who they were and that they'd want you to get healthy.
Put your health first. Yes, visit you dad, but don't consider that your main responsibility. Your main responsibility is to yourself now.
Please update us on how you are doing.
Carol
Take care,
Carol
It's wonderful that you can pay for his wife's care and he needs to know that, but many of his generation do feel that it is their duty to provided the care even if that care isn't as good as others could provide or if it kills the caregiver. Unless he has has severe cognitive impairment, he has a right to this decision.
I wish I could give you a different answer, and maybe someone else has one. I don't. I think if you force anything that could kill him, as well.
It's got to be terrible for you to watch this, so my heart goes out to you.
Carol
ff - thx for the updated information. I knew about the 40% but not the increase to 70% over 70. I am assuming that refers to hands on caregivers, but even as a distance caregiver I know there is a toll on my health and those figures make me even more resolute to look after myself. I do have a couple of non life threatening health conditions which affect my quality of life. These have been exacerbated, if not caused, by the stress of caregiving a mentally ill mother. All the more reason to look after one's self. You deserve a decent retirement. I know it takes work to keep distancing yourself against those who do not understand - in my case not only my parent but also the facility staff who are not very aware. But it is worth it to preserve your own life. (((((hugs))))) to you too. Are there any geriatric managers in your area who could be hired to help?
Please keep us updated on how you're doing.
Carol
Now I understand why my parents [mid-90's] will probably outlive me.
Carol
Take care, all of you,
Carol
Blessings,
Carol
Take care,
Carol