What will we do differently?

Good question, Daughter of 1930. Here is a recent question on the same topic https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/what-would-you-want-for-your-own-old-age-final-years-197149.htm and hopefully we will get more answers.

For one thing I would recommend each caregiver here not waste as much time as I did taking care of in-laws, stepparents and my husband to the point where I had no quality of life for the past 18 years. For my own last years? There will be no children to help. My daughter had a PE (Pulmonary Embolism) in her thirties and is morbidly obese. My son is HIV+. My husband is in stage 4 kidney failure. If I skinny down to bare essentials (strip the house of accumulated memories and junk over the years), rent out rooms to cover my taxes and have reasonably good health, I may get by a few years longer. If I have any kind of debilitating illness, I will wind up in the worst of nursing homes out of poverty and necessity. That’s why I say, make sure you take care of yourself first. No one will appreciate any of the sacrifices you make, especially those that hurt your own security. I didn’t listen either. I have lived long enough to be a disappointment to everybody—including myself.

If you are insurable purchase a long term care insurance and hopefully a reverse mortgage to sustain you. I'm in the same boat without chikdren and currently taking care of my mother. I have systemic lupus and ra just to name o few. Unfortunately in my 50s. I am now 56 I didn't qualify for long term care insurance. Even group insurance so save save save.

I totally hear you FedUpNow. Know at least that there are others (me) in pretty much the same place as you. Not what I envisioned when I thought about retirement when I was younger, that is for sure.

Protect finances/assets

There are steps you can take now to practice when you're well enough so it becomes a lifestyle later.

One smart move you can do now before it's too late is find some very clever and very creative fool proof strategies to protect all of your finances and assets, even valuables within your home. Don't hire anyone until you've read this and followed all of these precautions.

* Depending on your state's laws, see if you can go through probate and file a transfer on death of your home (if you own it), and make sure to cover that in your will because you're also going to need a will in probate. This can be done through a lawyer who handles these matters. If a transfer on death is not available in your state, see what other options are open and available to you. Speak with a lawyer to make this as secure as possible because you don't want anyone coming in and overturning it, especially if you go into a nursing home.

* Nursing home proof your assets

This is done for through estate planning lawyerswho regularly handle these matters.

* Go to the funeral home of your choice and preplan a preneed based on your wishes. That way, your wishes are honored and carried out, and it relieves your family of the burden later.


* Set up your bills for automatic bill pay, but only set it up from your end. Firmly stand your ground and don't let anyone have access to your bank account! Anyone who insists, that's a huge red flag and you should not do business with that establishment.

* My next step is based on something I saw online about a caregiver taking advantage of someone with deteriorating mental health:

If you're expecting a caregiver on a certain day, schedule automatic transfers to sweep all your money into a separate account which does not have a card attached to it. First, make sure no one else is on your bank account. You want to have two separate accounts in your name only, and saw him checking accounts come with savings accounts, but you could also have a checking account two checking accounts, one with a card and one without one. Let's say you have $100 in the account with the card. You can go online (or have your banker help you with it) and schedule automatic transfers from one account to another. Let's say you only want to spend five dollars that day or maybe even less. You can schedule all but five dollars to be automatically transferred from the checking account with the card to the one without the card. That way, if anyone tries to take advantage of you, predators won't be able to get ahold of your money, even if they happen to get a hold of your card. That's because all of your money is now in another account but with no card. You can specify that when you open a second checking account that you don't want a second card for this reason. Another thing you can do if you don't want to spend anything is sweep all of your money into that other account with no card. That way, the card will get declined if someone gets your card from you and tries to use it. The only catch is you must have your account set up through the bank a certain way that won't allow transactions if the money isn't there, which I'll cover in a moment. Another thing to remember is that with banks like Huntington, money is instantly available when it's transferred online or deposited as cash. You don't have to worry if you set everything up correctly.

As promised, here's my trick for helping to protect yourself against overdrafts:

Have the manager set up your accounts in a way that won't let a transaction go through if the money's not there, this protects you against overdrafts.

* Alert the bank of your caregiver in advance just so they know you have a caregiver. That way, if something goes wrong on the caregiver's part, the bank will have a heads up ahead of time. You may also want to see if their system allows them to make a note of the caregiver situation. If your caregiver happens to be predatory, You can have your card stopped if the predator ever gets a hold of it.

* If you're still of sound mind should something like this ever arise, yet very loud to raise awareness to the situation, this will draw attention, even if you must yell "fire" really loud.

* Only use this as a last resort if you yell and no one seems to pay attention.


* The best thing you can do is to try and leave your card at home in a hiding place or even at the bank in a safety deposit box. You should still be able to put a temporary stop on your card just in case something comes up. If not, you can still lock it up at the bank.

* The best thing you can do is just not carry a purse or wallet on the day you're with your caregiver. Lock up all small valuables (preferably at the bank) and don't give no one the key. If your caregiver tries to get it from you, you may get to know the manager or a banker to see if they will hold your key for you until your caregiver appointment is done. I also think you should see this video,

It looks like the wink I was trying to share got cut out and I don't know why

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OK, it looks like half of this got cut off, so I'll retry

Protect finances/assets

There are steps you can take now to practice when you're well enough so it becomes a lifestyle later.

One smart move you can do now before it's too late is find some very clever and very creative fool proof strategies to protect all of your finances and assets, even valuables within your home. Don't hire anyone until you've read this and followed all of these precautions.

* Depending on your state's laws, see if you can go through probate and file a transfer on death of your home (if you own it), and make sure to cover that in your will because you're also going to need a will in probate. This can be done through a lawyer who handles these matters. If a transfer on death is not available in your state, see what other options are open and available to you. Speak with a lawyer to make this as secure as possible because you don't want anyone coming in and overturning it, especially if you go into a nursing home.

* Nursing home proof your assets

This is done for through estate planning lawyerswho regularly handle these matters.

* Go to the funeral home of your choice and preplan a preneed based on your wishes. That way, your wishes are honored and carried out, and it relieves your family of the burden later.


* Set up your bills for automatic bill pay, but only set it up from your end. Firmly stand your ground and don't let anyone have access to your bank account! Anyone who insists, that's a huge red flag and you should not do business with that establishment.

* My next step is based on something I saw online about a caregiver taking advantage of someone with deteriorating mental health:

If you're expecting a caregiver on a certain day, schedule automatic transfers to sweep all your money into a separate account which does not have a card attached to it. First, make sure no one else is on your bank account. You want to have two separate accounts in your name only, and saw him checking accounts come with savings accounts, but you could also have a checking account two checking accounts, one with a card and one without one. Let's say you have $100 in the account with the card. You can go online (or have your banker help you with it) and schedule automatic transfers from one account to another. Let's say you only want to spend five dollars that day or maybe even less. You can schedule all but five dollars to be automatically transferred from the checking account with the card to the one without the card. That way, if anyone tries to take advantage of you, predators won't be able to get ahold of your money, even if they happen to get a hold of your card. That's because all of your money is now in another account but with no card. You can specify that when you open a second checking account that you don't want a second card for this reason. Another thing you can do if you don't want to spend anything is sweep all of your money into that other account with no card. That way, the card will get declined if someone gets your card from you and tries to use it. The only catch is you must have your account set up through the bank a certain way that won't allow transactions if the money isn't there, which I'll cover in a moment. Another thing to remember is that with banks like Huntington, money is instantly available when it's transferred online or deposited as cash. You don't have to worry if you set everything up correctly.

As promised, here's my trick for helping to protect yourself against overdrafts:

Have the manager set up your accounts in a way that won't let a transaction go through if the money's not there, this protects you against overdrafts.

* Alert the bank of your caregiver in advance just so they know you have a caregiver. That way, if something goes wrong on the caregiver's part, the bank will have a heads up ahead of time. You may also want to see if their system allows them to make a note of the caregiver situation. If your caregiver happens to be predatory, You can have your card stopped if the predator ever gets a hold of it.

* If you're still of sound mind should something like this ever arise, yet very loud to raise awareness to the situation, this will draw attention, even if you must yell "fire" really loud.

* Only use this as a last resort if you yell and no one seems to pay attention.


* The best thing you can do is to try and leave your card at home in a hiding place or even at the bank in a safety deposit box. You should still be able to put a temporary stop on your card just in case something comes up. If not, you can still lock it up at the bank.

* The best thing you can do is just not carry a purse or wallet on the day you're with your caregiver. Lock up all small valuables (preferably at the bank) and don't give no one the key. If your caregiver tries to get it from you, you may get to know the manager or a banker to see if they will hold your key for you until your caregiver

Oh well I guess I'll have to start a second part with the other half

appointment is done. I also think you should see this video, because this video really confirms the very reason why I'm giving everyone all of these tips to protect themselves ahead of time.
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* You want to make arrangements before you get bad off to the point of needing assistance. Not doing so now will leave you sitting duck for any predator later, and by then it will already be too late. Try to incorporate my tips and tricks into your lifestyle when you're young so it becomes a lifestyle by time you're old. Early preparation is key to future prevention. If you must carry a wallet, have as little money on the card as absolutely possible. What I would also do is have a dummy card, which is really an old outdated card with nothing on it. If you're caregiver demands your wallet, give them the dummy card instead if they expect you to pay 😂👍 (The laugh will definitely be on them) because they'll look like jackasses when they rack up a big bill and run the card, and the card gets declined. If this ever happens, you can tell the cashier what's going on and they will get the manager, and the manager will then call the cops.

* This will only work if and only if you follow my tips exactly as I shared them with you regarding your bank accounts. No one else will do this for you, it's up to you to do it for yourself because there's not always a guarantee someone will step up when you actually need them to, this is why it's up to you to prepare now and even start practicing the word "no" "no" "no".

* If the caregiver is predatory and wants to take you to your bank to withdraw cash because you don't have your card for they find out about the other account, there are a number of things you can do.

At the drive-through window, there's one nice trick you can pull by writing "help" on the withdrawal slip. If you go inside the bank, you can also pull this same little trick, except this time you can actually speak up and say "help". Keeping a good communication with your bank ahead of time in case something like this happens is going to be key to them having a heads up if anything ever comes up because they can help you. Another thing to look for inside your bank when you step up to the teller is scrap paper. If you have a problem with a caregiver financially abusing you, you can even call the local APS. The best account is to hear it from you when making a report.

If the predatory caregiver works for an agency, call the agency's manager and report the incident and anything else that went on. It may be that if a predatory caregiver is doing something to you, they may have also been preying on others. Prevention is key, and I hope this video will ring a bell and guide you toward taking everything I said here very seriously. I know that if I were to need a caregiver tomorrow, I know that I would be safe because I already have everything set up and I know what to do sure that they come. Do you want to be the kind of person no one messes with because it's up to you to protect yourself as though no one is around to help. There are people out there to help you, but again, there's not always a guarantee they will actually help. Watch the video and you'll see what I mean because sometimes a problem can go on for a while while a senior's money is being abused and misused. Sometimes people don't step in until it's too late, which is why it's up to you to plan early and drop it in your head to go on autopilot and already know what to do to prevent yourself from being financially abused. Just because a caregiver (professional or not), has access to your card, doesn't give them the right to use a dime on themselves because that money is to be spent on you and only you. Just because they can handle your card doesn't necessarily mean you have to let them, this is your right because it's your card, your account, and definitely your money. One smart move to make regarding your house though (providing you own one) is to only keep a copy of your contract as well as your deed in a safe place such as the bank safety deposit box. Keep the other one if possible either with your lawyer or in probate, and give the lawyer a heads up ahead of time about the caregiver situation. Have the lawyer take every possible precaution to protect you against predatory people, and you may also want to consider whether or not an irrevocable trust is right for you, or at very least a revocable one. It may be that perhaps you want your bank or your lawyer, maybe both to be your trust. Definitely a lockdown everything you have before you ever need a caregiver! Please, watch this video very carefully and you'll see exactly why it's so important to protect yourself now before you ever need a caregiver. Again, I know that if I were to need a caregiver tomorrow, no one will take advantage of me.

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FedUpNow... look into the requirements for Medicaid in your state because you would NOT have to end up in the worst of the worst nursing homes. In Arizona, once a person is down to their house, one car and less than $2000 in the bank, or as monthly income, they are eligible for Medicaid if there is a medical need. Alzheimers, dementia and such ARE pretty much automatic needs. On Medicaid, you can reside in any nursing home/memory care unit/assisted living facility that accepts Medicaid. IF you have assets, some of the better facilities have a requirement that you come in as private pay for a period of time....but most of them....once you ARE living there, they will do everything possible to keep you there and help you get qualified for Medicaid. Also, when already residing in a facility, you go to the top of any waiting list, over someone from outside. Even if you did have to go in the worst of the worst, your assigned case worker for Medicaid could help you get on a waiting list for, or look for a better place. Also, in Arizona, there are many smaller private homes that take in seniors and are approved for Medicaid. Most of the smaller homes only have like 10 residents at a time. You don't get all the same activities, van service to the doctor etc, that bigger facilities have, but you do feel more like you are living with a family. Once a Medicaid application goes in, they generally approve and start paying within 30 days, at least those have been the rules in Arizona. If you go in while owning a house, they do have the option of putting a lien on the house once you die or are no longer receiving Medicaid, unless you have a spouse...then they must wait until the spouse is no longer occupying the house. In Arizona, asking questions about Medicaid is done through the State Health Dept and I found links on their site and people to communicate with. Just wanted you to know it's not as hopeless as many think. I thought that way before we had to get my Dad qualified so he could stay in Memory Care.

kateobl
What does one do about checks? I have three transactions each month (sometimes a couple more) that require checks. Two separate accounts would be too confusing for me. Unfortunately my husband has always taken care of financial issues. Is there some way a bank card could be set up as debit only and not have credit cards? I have just recently been having to deal with the similar situation. Unfortunately my branch bank doesn't have safety boxes. A family member wants his name on my accounts. So far I have refused.

OK I will tell you a little secret here in a moment from my own personal experience, but first I must assure everyone that the link I shared is really just a video from the TV show called what would you do? The video is really about an elderly person with dementia being taken into a ladies salon with what turns out to be a predatory caregiver who ends up taking advantage of him financially. This goes on for quite a while until finally someone speaks up after noticing what's going on. The video only further confirms why it's so important to take special precautions to practice when you still can. That way, what happened in the video will not happen to you, (or at least there's a lesser chance of it).

I thought I better clear that up because I understand that there may be some misunderstanding about the link, (but I see links all over this site all the time). Rest assured, it's definitely no ad, and is perfectly legit. The crew travels around putting together skits for their show based on real life problems.

OK Kateobl, now onto your question:

First, let me say that i've actually been running two checking accounts for years now. I'll explain how mine works, which will also help explain why checks are obsolete and why I haven't written one for quite a long time:

For starters, I don't write any checks whatsoever, and I haven't for quite a long time and I'll explain how I get around it with my debit card and online bill pay.

1) All I do is set up direct deposit of my check/s straight into one specific account.

2) after setting up your accounts at the bank with the help of a banker, only one account is used for my bills. This is where my auto bill pay that I described comes out of, this is the account I don't really need a card for, but I can access it through my online banking.

3) my (other) account is used to put any money left over (after) bills are paid. I schedule all of my auto bill pay transactions (for mandatory bills) to come out on the same day. this is done when I have a predictable amount to be automatically transferred each month.

* The amount of money to automatically transfer can be figured out by accessing your online bill pay after your auto bill pay accounts are all set up to come out automatically. Now if you have Huntington online bill pay, you can go under your bill pay, scheduled payments. You will see what all is coming out at a glance along with the total amount.

* In order to use the online bill pay, you must get with a personal banker and signed up for it. You must come up with a good username as well as a secure password. Your banker can help you come up with an easy to remember but secure login. When this is set up for you, write down the information, and put it into your wallet, preferably in the same pocket with your card. Don't share that information with anyone.

Wallets like the aluminum wallet have very nice card pockets to store all of your cards. You must be careful though because if you're not used to that type of wallet, everything will fly everywhere until you get the hang of handling that kind of wallet. Another nice type of wallet is a nice but very small leather one, also containing card pockets. Wallets and clutch purses are everywhere, and you're sure to find something for you. I stick with something very small so that there's less chance of losing it. I like a wallet that's not much bigger than the card itself, and only holds a few cards. You can still hold your drivers license, your ATM card, your healthcare card, gas card, and a few more. Yes, you figured it out, I travel very light. My favorite kind of wallet is the kind I can stick in my side pocket or into a very small fanny pack.

* That little card is more than just an ATM card

Now, when I go into a store, I can take the same exact card attached to my bank account and make purchases with it. At the checkout, run your card only as credit, it's more secure. The newer cards actually have microchips in them, which adds a level of security. In some stores, you will put your card in the bottom slot (but you'll have to punch in your PIN number). What to remember is that if you're with a caregiver who turns out to be predatory and they happen to get that card and try to run it, don't give your pin number! Think of some clever way to avoid getting that pin number such as "forgetting" your pin number.

* Another thing I should reveal is the lovely secret of knowing that since my bank card is prepaid, I don't have to worry about going into debt, I have my account is set up to not overdraw. The only way my account can overdraw is electronically, and all you have to do is just make sure you have enough money in your account all the time. My bills come out on the first, and my all of my automatic transfers are scheduled to come out around the bill pay without disturbing the funds for any of my mandatory bills because the system takes care of all of that for me. The best thing about automatic bill pay is that you don't even have to get out of bed if you really don't want to because your bills are already taken care of for you once everything is set up. All you do is set it and forget it. You can always go in and make changes later if amounts to your regular bills ever change. For the rent, I have a regular amount that comes out each month and can vary the next year. For one year I will pay the same amount all the time until the next year my rent is readjusted. On this particular expense, I can select monthly on that bill along with other fixed amounts. On the bills like my phone that fluctuate a little, I select once under the pulldown menu each month when I go to adjust the amount when my phone bill comes.

* In order to save on your phone bill by the way, You may very well want to opt for basic (no long distance). If your income is eligible and you happen to be on public assistance of any kind such as SSI, you can get a free government phone with free airtime each month.

Part two

You pick one of the available packages and make your long-distance calls off that phone, but make sure not to deplete your airtime because it needs to last you throughout the whole month. Texting is free with safe link.

How to prevent your phone bill from doubling or even tripling despite your best efforts:

When you pay your phone bill and you happen to have frontier for instance, look on your phone bill to find your account number starting with your phone number along with a few extra digits after it. When you set up your online bill pay and have your phone bill come out, pay special attention to type in every last digit, including the extra ones after your phone number. This will show in the system a little lightning bolt which will transfer your money electronically instead of by paper check, saving you tons of money, and I'll explain why:

Being on fixed income, I always do my best to make sure all of my phone bills are paid on time. However, my phone bill was doubling and tripling despite my best efforts. I was always paying on time which was discovered by frontier due to the dates on when the checks were mailed out. The problem was when my check phone bill payment took 24 days to get there and get posted, (which is highly unusual).

The problem?

I didn't know what those two extra digits were for, and I ignored them until it was discovered that those few extra digits were actually needed when I type in my account number. Those few extra digits are the money savers because they help your phone bill get there much faster because your payment is sent electronically from your bank to the other party instead of by paper check that can take forever to arrive and get posted. If you do use frontier, definitely type in those few extra digits when setting up your online bill pay for your phone bill. That way, you won't have a huge surprise on your next bill.

So when might I need a check?

From my own personal experience around here, the only time I would ever need to supply a check is if I would never happen to borrow from a payday advance (loan shark). You want to avoid these places at all costs because it's really a scam. I remember a time many years ago all of those places around here were shut down, but how they made a comeback, I don't know. A friend of mine was even telling me how he and some of his buddies went in and borrowed a whole bunch of money before those places all shut down, (and they kept the money) 😂 Every business in this town knows what these scam places are really doing is taking advantage of people who can least afford it by charging ridiculous fees on payday advances. One time I ran into serious financial shortage and I could not pay the bill on top of my regular bills and buy groceries. I did not want to have to keep going up there just to pay a big ridiculous bill, only to borrow more money, so I secretly pulled a little trick of my own:

I went to my bank and took my checkbook with me to speak with a banker about the situation. I took the checkbook just in case they needed to see it for reference. Fortunately, the scheduled withdraw what's discovered as 'pending' in the system, and we were able to contact headquarters and stop that transaction altogether. This was because it was an absolute emergency to do so at that particular time. Dealing with these nasty payday advance scams is the only reason you would ever need a paper check (at least around here).

* You really don't want to borrow from any payday advance place or fall for anything they have to offer. I'm on fixed income myself, and I know how hard it is to borrow from these places and have to re-pay the whole bill including the interest and borrow even more just to get by through the month. The more you borrow from these places, the more you lose, and the more you lose, the more you must borrow just to get by. These payday advance scams are really just a debt cycle that will get you into date financial trouble. This is enough to Natalie drain you financially, but mentally and emotionally as well. Compound that with having no car and having to go out when the weathers bad just to go pay the bill (and borrow more money) because paying the bill just took a big huge chunk of your check, and you now need to borrow more just to pay the bills. You don't have to live like that because it's no way to live. You can avoid ever having to borrow from these payday loan places at all. When you're on a fixed income, the idea is to live on only that income and not outside of your means. You can still live large but within your means as long as it don't cost too much.

One final thing to remember

You really don't need any checks for your checking accounts anymore. In fact, not having any checks at all is another level of personal protection so that no one can get a hold of your account and routing information. You don't really need checks at all anymore, this is a new century, not the old days.

One final thing to remember

You really don't need any checks for your checking accounts anymore. In fact, not having any checks at all is another level of personal protection so that no one can get a hold of your account and routing information. You don't really need checks at all anymore, this is a new century, not the old days. In fact, one of our local stores even screwed the check platform shut. I noticed this when I went to set my purse on the platform and it was screwed shut (most likely by maintenance). It would've been more accessible from a wheelchair since it was on a lower level than the counter.

Another thing to remember is that so many places no longer even take personal checks. That's because too many people can write a bad check, intentional or not. More and more places I've noticed are more in favor of card readers.

OK, now for my biggest surprise

For the most part, I don't carry cash, and haven't for quite some time (unless I'm going to the laundromat). Not carrying cash does have its advantages:

* No germs that can make you sick

* No change to drop or get lost

* Transactions are a snap, just swipe your card, pick up your goods, and go! (much faster than handling cash and counting change).

* No one can get anything from you whether by robbery or a predatory person trying to get something for nothing through stealing.

* Have you noticed that (some) of the newer wallets are actually getting smaller? Ever notice how they have less space for change or paper bills? That's because fewer and fewer people are carrying cash and more and more people are opting for plastic.

* I never shop at a cash only place as much asabsolutely possible because these days, any establishment not having a card reader (these days) is (very) suspicious. I only shop at places with a working card reader. That way, my bank can record a record of my transactions. You can also keep your receipts, having receipts will definitely be very helpful in returning and exchanging a faulty item. On those receipts, you can mark what you bought in your own writing. That way, let's say you bought a blender that you discovered doesn't work. Let's say you kept the box and maybe even taped the receipt to the box. You load up your blender and return it to the store with the receipt already on the box. This is when the receipts are very handy.

It's good to shop online from the comfort of home 24/7.

Online orders always come with an invoice or receipt. When you order from eBay, always make sure you have a PayPal account set up with your extra money account where all of your scheduled automatic transfers go. Remember, this is not the same account as your bills are coming out of, this is the other account for your (extra) money. This is the account I would have tied to my PayPal account. This is how I make my online transactions. If I order something from eBay, check out is definitely a snap from the comfort of home. You can order many household goods online without going to a physical store and fighting for a parking space, especially a good one. Online shopping is very advantageous, especially around busy holidays. Staying home and shopping online will lessen the chances of your car being vandalized or even stolen in a place like a busy mall around those busy holidays. Now I know why Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz said, "there's no place like home!"

Would I recommend online bill pay?
Absolutely!

Why?
Convenience, and that it makes your life easier because the bank system actually pays your bills for you (out of your account) through their system.

How long have I used online bill pay?
Several years.

How did I discover online bill pay?

For many years I avoided online bill pay because I was afraid of losing money until a banker revealed the strategy that I shared here. It took a long time for me to finally try online bill pay, but I started with only one very small bill for about at least a month or two, maybe a little more. When I saw how reliable the service was, I then started adding more bills until I had all of them coming out. This is why I can go to the beach during the summer on payday or stay in bed all winter while the world just goes on around me because my bills are already covered. I don't even have to go out or pick up the phone all month.

Is online automatic bill pay safe?
Yes, providing you to set up the bill from (your) end. This is where you'll need the account number from the person with whom you have service, such as telephone service.

What if someone says it's "required" to access my bank account for payment because that's how they do it according to policy?

This is where the problem is, and I've heard nightmares of people who have fallen for this, and they got double dipped just because of this so-called "convenience" of having a company come in to collect payment from your bank account, (only for them to get greedy and take more then the agreed amount).

Kateobl, it looks like space is limited on here but this is still more answers to your question but has a lot of answers many answers and solutions, and I think maybe this site might consider having an article section where I can actually share this information, because everyone can use it

Continuation

This can only be done if you yourself consent and share your banking info with them. This is a very high risk that should be avoided, and this is exactly why you should never ever ever do business with anyone who "requires" access to your bank account.

I'm going to share a personal experience that I did face a while back:

My story and how I prevented access to my bank account

One time I went to order some affordable TV service. I gave my information until they finally brought up payment.

They mentioned but I would need a credit card to pay for installation.

I told them I don't have a credit card.

I kept silent and let them do the talking after this until the man on the other end brought up the fact I should have a debit card attached to my bank account. I think I made the mistake of saying yes because he kept pressuring me to give him the numbers. I would not, and instead asked him to send me a copy of the bill so I can set it up from my end. He refused, so I hung up and never called back. Never, ever ever ever let anyone trick you into gaining access to your bank account or even your card number. If they can't send you a copy of the bill, don't do business with them! If there really as good as they claim, and if there really is legit and reputable as they claim, they will honor your request and not pressure you for banking info after you've already made it clear you don't give that out or allow access to your bank account. Further pressuring after you've already made it clear is a huge red flag on the company's part. They should be reported immediately to the local BBB in the area where they're located.

Now that you know what I do about checks, you're also know why I don't use money orders or travelers checks anymore because all of my transactions are online and paid by prepaid plastic.

Prepaid cards outside of your bank

Be very wary of other prepaid cards that are not from your bank because these can actually charge a fee, and they are an inconvenience to reload. Your best bet is to just stick with your own prepaid card from your own bank since there are no fees as long (as you don't overdraft). The best way to avoid overdraft fees is to have your account set up by your bank manager to not even overdraft in the first place. Again, the only way they can ever overdraft in this particular case is electronically through an online bill transaction. This is why I have two separate accounts. One account is only for my bills, the other account is only for my extra money, (where all of my extra money is automatically transferred each month).

OK, now that you know how are you live the easy way, you'll know why I can get so much done and so little time without ever leaving my home. It's nice to be able to be doing my own thing while the bank takes care of my bills for me with the computerized system. This is actually more reliable than worrying about depending on someone else, because humans can forget, computers cannot.

Receiving checks for deposit?

Encourage whoever provides your checks to go direct deposit if it's a reputable company like Social Security.

Receiving personal checks?

No problem! See if you can do a bank to bank transfer where your money can come straight from the other bank into yours and deposit into your account! Eliminating the need for checks is also easier for the mail carrier (and it's less likely for a check to be lost in the mail) or even stolen by a thief snooping through people's mailboxes.

Check thefts

Do you remember when Social Security was mailed? There were so many times people have reported either not receiving checks or that they were stolen. Some of these people receiving Social Security were most likely at work, and no one was home at the time. I don't know how faves managed to cash those checks and get that money that was clearly not not theirs to take. I would've thought there would've been too much chance of getting caught by the bank and found out, which is what made me wonder how thieves were getting by. Too many lost or stolen checks caused Social Security so many problems they now directly deposit your check right into your bank account. I've never been on able to get a bank account, but if you happen to be one of the few who can't for some reason, you can order one of those cards from Social Security and have all of your proceeds for that month deposit it onto that card. Last thing I knew, Social Security had these little prepaid Social Security cards. I've never used one, but if you ever need to use one because you can't get a bank account for some reason, you would have to call each company you pay each month and give them the card number jus

Check thefts and how they're being stopped and prevented through direct deposit

Do you remember when Social Security was mailed? There were so many times people have reported either not receiving checks or that they were stolen. Some of these people receiving Social Security were most likely at work, and no one was home at the time. I don't know how faves managed to cash those checks and get that money that was clearly not not theirs to take. I would've thought there would've been too much chance of getting caught by the bank and found out, which is what made me wonder how thieves were getting by. Too many lost or stolen checks caused Social Security so many problems they now directly deposit your check right into your bank account. I've never been on able to get a bank account, but if you happen to be one of the few who can't for some reason, you can order one of those cards from Social Security and have all of your proceeds for that month deposit it onto that card. Last thing I knew, Social Security had these little prepaid Social Security cards. I've never used one, but if you ever need to use one because you can't get a bank account for some reason, you would have to call each company you pay each month and give them the card number just like a regular credit card. Those cards act just like a regular card from what a friend of mine was telling me when he found out about them a while back. It's not really as convenient as everything I've described setting up for myself, nor is it near as easy or stress-free as what I have going. Everything I described here is sure to make your life much easier, guaranteed. I had to discover the ass and try it for myself to discover it to be trustworthy, and if it were not trustworthy I wouldn't of gone to all of the trouble to describe everything here.

My husband and I both are 60 and we are putting in place long term care insurance that includes home care. We have been up front with our financials with both our children. I have suggested to our daughter that she regularly read the posts here on agingcare. There is a lot of invaluable info here. Due to my experience caring for my parents and in-laws I have shared what I feel are good tips with her (far too many to go into here).
We are in a position right now to start converting an efficiency apartment/guest house on our property into a retirement home for the two of us. It could also be used for an on site caregiver if need be. We are fortunate to have 17 acres with the main house on two acres which we could sell if needed and still live on our property in the smaller house therefore negating to some extent the need to move to unfamiliar places.
We are installing handles instead of knobs on the doors for ease of use when our grip is not a firm as it is now. We are changing the shower to be a no step over lips for ease there as well and also handrails where appropriate.
These are small steps but ones we feel will help us age in place as long as possible. We are doing these things a step at a time so financially it is not a burden.
Funeral plans have been made as well as a will. There are many things left to be done but as we are still mentally sharp and in good health we are moving forward with what we feel are priorities for us.

Doodlebug, it sounds like you're off on the right foot, good for you! Yes, the no lip shower is definitely a very good idea. There are also walk in bathtubs. It's always wise to think of our futures because we never know when we may actually find ourselves needing those special features. Even if we don't, they're always very nice to have as a safety precaution anyway to reduce the risk of injury in a shower or bathtub. You may also invest in a bath seat so that you can sit while showering. If you have low spine arthritis like I do, having a bath seat is definitely a smart move if you can't stand or walk too long without pain. Another thing you may consider is whether or not you really want to keep and maintain 17 acres, that's an awful lot of land. Years ago I knew someone who was up in age and he maintained 16 acres but with the help of a big tractor. He had to constantly mow that field during mowing season because he had a small herd of horses and ponies. They all ran free except if we had studs and stallions on the property. If we did, we had to first put up the girls so the boys could run loose for a while, so all of the animals had a chance to run free. Having a lot of land is much easier to maintain with a tractor, but forget it if you don't have one, because that much land requires a pretty big tractor. When you have a farm like we did, there are multiple duties, and having the right help for some of the chores is actually very advantageous, especially if the owner happens to be up in age. You really don't want to be living alone on that kind of land without access to some kind of help in the event of an emergency should you collapse and you're laying out there all alone in the field. If it's a major emergency and you don't have a cell phone on you, you're most likely to die out in the field. I pitied my friend who had the farm because he had no cell phone and he lived alone on 16 acres with multiple horses and ponies. He burned his own trash in a certain spot on the farm, transported and stored hay bales in the loft, and when I was young I guess I really didn't think much of this whole situation. Now that I'm older, here is what I saw could've happened, because one of the trash fire ever got out of control, one of the horses got spooked and not just kicked him but really kicked him, or worse yet, trampled him? I'm not saying that there was really any chance of this happening unless we happen to have a horse that was too mean for anyone to be around. If my friend who was a grandpa to me would've had a heart attack and he would've been alone out in the field? He had no cell phone and if something would've happened out there on the farm away from the house, he would not have been able to call for help in a major medical emergency. This means he would've most likely died out in the field. He would've laid their dad until someone would've came by and found him. I lived in another town at the time and didn't have a vehicle. The horse trainer was the one who came around every day to do some chores and work with show horses. Having someone run in and out of your property all daily can actually become bothersome, because you do need some time to yourself. That's why you should set a time when it's good for you to have visitors so that you don't get visitor burnout.

Have you ever thought of maybe selling some of your land or downsizing to a smaller property? This will help put you closer to neighbors and even the local hospital as well as other things that are within walking distance if you live anywhere near downtown. Small towns are actually nice since they're more laid-back. Living within the city limits means less lawn to mow depending on how big your land is. Everything in town is more easily maintained than it is out in the country as you get up in age, unless you're one of those really strong fighters. If you're anything like my pappy was, he even drove well into his old age as well as planted a garden and ran the farm. I don't know what happened, what his biological kids decided that he no longer needed to drive. He was always a very safe driver and never had an accident in his life, no tickets either. I don't know how his kids came to the conclusion to get him off the road, but I think this marked his demise because sometime after he quit driving is when I think he started going downhill and eventually died. Sometimes giving up your independence can be overwhelming in some cases, so choose wisely in whatever you choose to do.

In reference to Medicaid and nursing homes. Basically, here in SJersey Medicaid only pays for longterm nursing home. This is where you share a room with someone. The only AL that excepts Medicaid you need to have two years of money at least then you sign up for Medicaid. You can stay in the room you've had the previous two years. Another AL, as long as u have the money you can stay there but when money runs out, its to nthe nursing section once Medicaid takes over.

If I am able to make any sane of life, and if I become incapacitated to the point that I require long term care, my intention is to walk out as far as I can into the ocean, then swim out as far as I can and surrender. I watched my mother become mentally incapacitated. I don't want to live.
My assets (two houses with mortgages) are all in a family trust. I am the trustee, but upon my death, it goes to my children.

I've heard that you're in Ohio, you can only have up to $1500 in order to qualify for Medicaid. That's a far cry less than what you guys are allowed to have over there, and $1500 will definitely not go far over here because $1500 won't even last that long. However, on the other hand, last I knew, Social Security allowed you to have up to $2000. I think most people around here or more likely to go for the $2000 and sacrifice Medicaid for their own insurance

Just a solution in case you're in a similar jam where you can't really have but a small amount, you may try some kind of alternate way of putting away some money into a CD or even an annuity. See what your bank has for you to help you protect your benefits as well as your finances. There are split decisions over using a trust because I now know why. Many people are very leery of turning the ownership of their money over to someone else because there's no guarantee the trustee won't misuse your money, because there's really nothing stopping them (since it's now their money). I learned this from a lawyer when I was inquiring about something a while back, and if I were to save up some money, I would not feel comfortable using a trust knowing what she had to say. The only other alternative would be to try an annuity and a few CDs.

I think we need more info. I'm assuming ur afraid someone will steal u checks? If the bills are monthly, like utilities, set them up for automatic withdrawal. Youcan close your credit cards once they are paid off. The bank will give you a debit card that deducts payments from your checking account. You will need to keep records of these deductions by using ur check register. If you feel uncomfortable putting someone on ur accounts, don't. The downside is if u become incompacitated, no one can pay ur bills.

Actually, I found it easier just to probe into my online transaction history than to keep an actual book. The bank I'm with actually keeps those records for you, and all you have to do is pull up your transaction history for that account

What can we do now? Get out of the mindset our parents have. Since in the 60s, the lifespan was 65, our parents probably didn't think they'd live as long as they did. Times changed, children live hours/days away. Because the media has said "u can stay in ur house", this is how they think. As we know as caregivers, this can't always be. We as caregivers can now see where our parents are/were wrong. Personally my husband and I are trying to look ahead. We have invested money. We own our house and are looking to downsize. I don't expect my girls to give up jobs to care for us. I do expect them to make sure we are safe and to do what they can to insure it. POAs will be set up. We could do research now to what is available to seniors in our areas so when the time comes we can take advantage of it. Try not to take on extra debt. If you don't have one, take out an insurance policy to cover funeral expenses. Then take the policy to your funeral home and do funeral arrangements. Have the mindset that things may change as we get older and that we r going to have to go with the change and not fight it. Make things as easy as we can for our children and ourselves. A number of the elderly in our church downsized years ago. They live in an apartment complex. When they pass, all their children will have to worry about is cleaning out an apartment. My Mom had her bills set up that if not paid, I was made aware of it. After Dad passed, we had her will done and POAs put in plàce. Keep good records and keep records up to date. Make sure at least one child knows where to find important papers. Be as independent as possible.

1Rarefind,
We already have the shower seat, a toilet seat, rolling walker, wheelchair and other healthcare items from taking care of parents.
As for selling the property....as I stated we can IF needed. We are neither one ready to stop living here and have a lot of plans for gardens, cattle, chickens, orchards, etc. These may not be your idea a a good and happy life/hobby but it is for us. We both have cell phones and our daughter and her family live on an acre here and are active as well in "the farm".
We are five minutes from everything we need and only 25 minutes or less by ambulance (if needed) to several award winning,highly rated hospitals.
We have absolutely NO desire to live in town. Your advice is duly noted but we will continue to pursue our dreams. The property is situated in such a manner that we can sell all or part as/if needed and still be in the smaller house with a garden and chickens...

Daughterof1930: You rock! What a great post. Here are some ideas #1 put into your investment portfolio long-term health care, #2 modify your home with a chair lift, #3 get a walk-in bathtub, #4 prepay ALL of your funeral expenses and #5 update your will. That's just for starters.

I should mention how to handle third-party debts that are (by law) a long priority as long as they're not secured. If you ever have a problem with a miscellaneous creditor at a time you're falling on hard times or maybe have already fallen on hard times, pay your mandatory immediate household needs first because these are top priority by law, and no creditor is allowed to harass you. You can ask them to stop all communication if they start bothering you too much. I would suggest giving them a cease and desist order from the start, because I learned from experience that once you start talking to these people, they won't leave you alone no matter what because you won't be able to get rid of them. The only way they will back off is if you demand they stop all contact and that you will get to the bills as soon as you possibly can because you have every intention on paying them. If they contact you in the future, you have grounds for a lawsuit. Becoming familiar with the fair debt collection practices act is a smart move because you will discover that you really don't have to give any information unless you agree to give it. Don't get caught in the trap of giving them any information, because they will most likely pry information from you about your bank accounts and your assets such as your home or car. Do not give this information out, best yet, don't even speak to the creditors. If you applied for a secured loan, try working with that creditor to see about resolving the debt because they may very well be able to work with you. To be honest with you, I don't think it's a very wise move to put anything up for collateral since it puts those assets at risk if you fall on hard times. You might look into a personal loan if you really need it, and if they require collateral, then you really don't need the loan that bad if you really think long and hard. Avoid debt at all costs because if you fall on hard times, you can lose all of your money, your home, and your car. You can lose everything and be sitting on the street with nowhere to go. This happened to a friend of mine years ago when her husband got hurt on the job and became disabled to the point he could no longer work. They were buying a house at the time, and in the process of getting the right help, they ended up losing the house along with everything in it. This is why am glad new programs are out there to help stop foreclosures, because all these people left with where the clothes on their back's and their car. I was there when the sheriff came that day, I'll never forget as long as I live. I'm such a strong believer in avoiding loans, especially knowing so many of them are predatory. Taking out a loan of any kind is actually a very big risk regardless of the amount, because there's always a chance you could default through no fault of your own, which is the case in so many cases more times than not. This is why there are new programs out there to help stop foreclosures. I recall another time years ago when our town was actually half empty because of the housing foreclosure crisis. People were losing their homes left and right and more and more homes were standing empty. Then one day I heard there was a new law passed to help stop foreclosures, and the crisis must've been more widespread than just our town for such a long to kick in so fast. They had to do something about the housing crisis because we would've had more than just homeless people living on the street, We would've most likely seen a huge crime increase because apparently half or more of America was going homeless with many having nowhere to go. When you get a bunch of people living in the street, there's going to be riots sometime along with other homeless problems. I'm so glad it was resolved, but I don't know how many people were actually restored back into their homes. Knowing how bad things can get if you fall on hard times is exactly why falling for a loan is never a good idea because it could backfire on you if you fall on hard times. The same thing goes for car ownership through the bank, I would much rather have no car rather than to lose the car and all of the money I previously paid and have nothing to show for it if I ever fell on hard times. In so many cases where someone has so little money and is trying to get ahead only to suddenly have a situation come up through no fault of their own, taking out a loan will actually put you in a worse place later if you lose your major purchase and all of the money you paid. If you ever watched a show called operation repo, this would give you an idea of what the repo man actually deals with because people are nasty when losing a car, especially if they happen to have fallen on hard times through no fault of their own. You don't want this happening to you, especially not in your golden years, and especially not if you worked your whole life to get what you have now only to lose it all. I would never take out a loan for anything.

Continuation sense my post got cut off due to limited space

It's just not a good idea to fall for any thing that will get you in trouble later should something go wrong. For instance, I may need a car right now, but I don't need it so bad that I'm willing to risk losing it along with all of the money previously paid. I'm just not that desperate.

I haven't started yet, but I plan to visit every NH and ALF within 10 miles well in advance of my husband's need. I don't want to have to guess at the last minute which are good, acceptable or unacceptable.

A friend of mine "disappeared" leaving her answering machine ringing busy. There was minor panic because she is single and childless and lives alone, and none of her friends or siblings knew where she is. Someone is "pretty sure" she's on a long vacation! I want to be sure that I have a list of people who know where I am supposed to be, who will notice within a few days that I am missing!