Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3
I agree with the above....leave it to the professionals. Do not accept attitudes over the phone ( as if you can control dad's behavior). Your father is not an exception. In fact sexual activity between the elderly in nursing homes is a known problem. Every facility has a patient representative who is a go between with the patient, family and facility. I suggest you get in touch with this staff member. Let him/her know how poorly the staff has treated you. Let him/her do the job they get paid for .
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I don't have the answers, just a simple, you are not alone. I have several Alz clients who express themselves this wa,y and it makes it very difficult to find the right setting or caregivers who are "well" trained & Willing to work with them. Medication works to some degree, but the side effect is, they become non-communicative. The best advise I can offer you, is to step away, take care of yourself, put you first, and leave the behaviors to the professionals to handle. The DON & Physician, should be the one helping you find the right combination of medications to subdue the behavior. Unfortunately, ALZ seems to exasperate the worst behaviors in people.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

A friend's dad has dementia and is beyond being simply aggressively flirtatious. There is a specific type of dementia where sexuality is the main difficulty with the person, exactly as you described. My friend's dad used to be a cop,a position of authority where everyone smiled and agreed wth him while he was on duty of course. Now that he is retired, and has dementia, he thinks all the women should still be smiling to him, and flirtatious right back at him. He will never accept that he is not an alpha male anymore, per his past profession as a cop. However...if a lady were to come on to him and treat him the same way he tried to treat her, he'd run scared, so perhaps that info might help. One other thing; employees in a nursing home are trained to handle all types. Don't let them try to make you feel as though he is an exception; he is merely another personality, and still a person, and they willhave to "bother" to take care of him properly and handle this situation properly. I am a state volunteer advocate for senior citizens in nursing home settings. If I see something not being handles right, the facility gets wrote up and then state comes in to ivestigate, etc. So you hang in there, as to speak with head nurse to see how they are handling his diagnosis, and also ask who is the State Long Term Care Ombudsman for that facility. : )
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I agree with Pam. In fact, I wonder if he could be taking Viagra?

Many men of his generation seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable to make sexual remarks to women, and to get "handsy" sometimes. It was part of proving they were real he-men, or something. I can't tell you how many old-timers I had to push off me when I started out working as a young newspaper reporter. No matter how much I told them it wasn't acceptable, they never seemed to get the message. It was something about "the Greatest Generation" that I found particularly revolting.
Definitely move his wheelchair so he can't go creeping into women's rooms at night, like the Sheik of Araby.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Kala, both testicular cancer and prostate hyperplasia can trigger hypersexual activity. He needs a good checkup and PSA test. Testicles are imaged via MRI. If he ever took any testosterone enhancing supplements, he is at risk.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You said your dad was manic? Add that to the hypersexuality and those are 2 hallmark symptoms of bipolar. Has your dad ever been treated for bipolar?

From one daughter to another I can appreciate how difficult and uncomfortable this must be for you and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thank you, Eyerishlass. He is already on lorazepam (generic ativan) 3X a day but it doesn't seem to do a thing to curb this behavior, maybe increase the dosage? I should ask the doctor. He is on low dosage lorazepam to slow him down since he was always getting out of his wheelchair, trying to walk around, resulting in numerous falls and tumbles and he is normally hyper-manic, talking 24/7 until he chokes on his own saliva. I SO agree, I'd rather see him medicated some more than trying to kiss on whoever, whenever. I'm also worried that a family member of one of the women will get angry, and assault my father, not that he wouldn't have it coming, but...well, you know...it wouldn't be the first time in his life that someone has kicked his butt or confronted him for sexual advances. Mother is dead, I'm the only surviving sibling, so it's all on me to handle. I'll ask the doctor about raising the dosage and also about putting wheelchair out of sight once he's ready for bed, he uses a urinal at night so no need for him to be out of his bed or his room once it's bedtime. Thank you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

A wheelchair should always be put away out of sight when the person is in bed so the person isn't tempted into trying to get in it by themselves.

This must be a very difficult situation for you. Hopefully someone who has had a similar experience will respond to your post.

Since your father's had this issue for what sounds like most of his adult life he's not likely to change now. I think his being asked to leave the NH at some point is a very real concern.

Have you spoken to his Dr. about anti-anxiety meds? I don't think your father's behavior is related to anxiety but the meds may slow him down a bit. If it were my father I'd rather he be medicated than prowling the hallways looking for women to assault.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter