It is over 4 years since mother died. Due to our very difficult relationship, I did a lot of grieving before she passed and haven't needed to do that much since. So I don't think this is so much related to her as to my own aging. I am 85 and inevitably think about what lies ahead. The visual which is with me right now is the sight of the Hoyer type lift in the shower room mother had in her bedroom at her NH. I also had a friend who died of metastasized breast cancer who had a Hoyer lift in her house where she stayed, with help, till close to the end. I think it symbolizes for me the absolute helplessness that can happen to a person as they near the end of their life and I don't want that! Nobody does. Yet these devices are so very useful and help to make those last years and months better. Anyone identify?
We were just speaking of this on another thread day before yesterday.
We all want that going to bed at night and boom, you are gone. My father passed in his easy chair watching Monica Lewinsky on Larry King Live, without a second to even say ouch. But being here on AgingCare we all know that's rare as hen's teeth; my Mom's case is the more common, the more likely.
Can sympathize, Golden, and right there with you!
I am slowly reading the Great Age Reboot in which the author stresses the importance of making good lifestyle choices. He is singing my song. But I am fully aware that no matter what you do you die anyway. Death in itself doesn't bother me as much as the various processes leading up to it.
You don't have to break bones if you fall, Alva. Be sure to take in enough calcium, magnesium, and Vitamin D and - ta ta - protein. I aim at 80 to 100 gms protein a day which is now what is recommended for seniors. I aged 84 tripped and fell like a sack of potatoes on the concrete driveway. It was after my ex died just over a year ago and taught me to be more careful in times of stress. At my age the normal expectation would be that I would break a bone. As it was I hardy had a bruise and my bones were fine.
I am working at seeing the good side of Hoyer lifts and so associate those images with something positive. Thank goodness we have them for people who have lost their mobility!
(I originally replied, regarding some flashbacks I’ve had regarding my father’s care before he died, but I realize now that I’ve had coffee 😉 that that really wasn’t germane to this particular question! Which I think is interesting: items from caregiving past that is remembered later on in terms of one’s own future.)