Follow
Share

My mom's lung cancer metastisized to her brain. We brought her to the ER for weakness, exhaustion and some confusion. They discovered this in a brain CT and angiogram.. at first they thought it was a stroke but the angiogram showed otherwise.



She is so fatigued she can barely get up. We are going to engage with hospice, but we want to speak with her radiation oncologist first we have a phone appointment on Friday to see what his take is on how much time she may have.



Has anyone else here dealt with this diagnosis?? What can we expect?? She's 82. I'm on fumes, my dad is losing it, in denial, but finally realizing she is not going to get better. She took a shower two days ago and I think that was the last one she will be able to manage so I will hire private until we can engage hospice and from what I understand I will probably have to keep that to get enough actual care.



This is horrible.



The "positive" side is that her anxiety is completely gone. When she's awake she engages briefly and is not worried about a thing. Then she goes right back to sleep, like 20 hours a day for the past two days.

Find Care & Housing
I'm so sorry to read this Casole. Everything about cancer is awful. I wish you peace as you go thru this with mom, knowing you've been an amazing daughter to her all along.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Casole, So sorry about your mother's decline. I wish you peace as you navigate this. (((Hug)))
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Hothouseflower
Report

My sister had breast cancer that went to her brain. She had been declaired free of breast cancer just 3 months prior. She went back to the hospital for chemo on a Friday and was gone by Tuesday.

I agree its time for Hospice. So sorry.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

I’m so sorry for you and your family. Wishing your mom comfort and rest and much peace to all
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

Everything about cancer sucks. I'm so sorry your Mom and family have to go through this. Praying for wisdom and peace for all.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

I'm sorry your mom is going through all of that. I'm glad family is visiting . It's always nice to have backup and support..
Prayers are with you.
🙏
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to MAYDAY
Report

Casole, what sad news. I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to SnoopyLove
Report

I didn't know why my husband was sleeping all day and night...
I called my friend who was in medical field...
I told him he sleeps all the time...
then he asked me the question..
how long has he been in a coma....😟
I know the doctors, whom I asked
How long do they have.,,
the doctors would never answer that question.. they'd glide by that, by saying, they really don't know.. that they can't answer.. I got it. After the first couple times, I stopped asking.,,
Your mom is sleeping more heavily and longer; when awake, does she eat or drink? or talk? Mine did not..,
Be close to her, play her favorite music, and talk to her and reminisce about your favorite moments.
It is horrible. It never gets easy..
as You are juggling this...
you need to keep a close eye on your dad.., he needs you..let him know you Are there for him.. men can be so stealth on the outside, and crumbling from within...
you are getting hospice in the right time. Keep your private care as well. It really helped having a tag team, you can adjust the care as needed..my hospice had me administer the medication when they were not there.. I lost the routine. My private care took over..Thank God 🙏
hospice is there not just for mom, but your whole family, dad too..
chaplain, religion choice,, music therapy, other aides and therapists. Ask what they offer and how often.
Make it as happy an environment as you want or can. Ehatever feels right for your family..,
My dog couldn't handle the revolving door of strangers coming n going, so my friend took my pup for the last few days..
if you have pets, they go through this as well...they may not like strangers during this time..
I am sorry your are going through this, but just know, you are doing everything correctly.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MAYDAY
Report
casole Oct 21, 2026
Thank you so much. This is so helpful and encouraging. We may never have all the answers we want. Mom is still eating. Though she uses a feeding tube for her meds and supplements with formula, she's been waking up to eat her chicken salad for lunch, but didn't get up tonight for her soup for dinner.

She had visits with my brothers and their wives the past two days and her grandson and his wife and great granddaughter (and granddog!) yesterday. Tho she was in bed she was alert and responsive. Today I feel would have been much different...they might have gotten 10 minutes of her instead of a few hours.

I appreciate your words of wisdom. I will not put off hospice while awaiting "answers"... They are ready to get the order from her doctor.
(4)
Report
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter