I've got a situation where my mother refuses all outside or paid help and wants only family to do things for her. There are a number of things family can't do her because of the people involved and distances, and a self-neglect situation is slowly building. I'm wondering when the apparently inevitable day comes when I call APS what will happen? How much legal control can they take over my mother's life and her home? I want her to get help or be forced to accept help (she sure won't listen to me!) but I fear her being railroaded or losing more independence than necessary. Will I be starting a process that could end badly? Please share your experiences with APS good and bad, thank you!
For instance:
People where we used to live, called police and CPS repeatedly over a couple years' time, got no responses:
We occasionally helped an abused single mother w/ 3 little kids, by sheltering her. [[yes, he did retaliate]]
She usually left her kids in the apartment w/the abuser, believing they'd be fine, despite my warnings.
I called CPS to report that. CPS never responded.
Many neighbors avoided calling, fearing retaliation by abuser--but called police to report sounds of violent abuses happening at her apartment--no responses.
Reports of chronic drug activity in apartment--no response.
Including reporting that man was conducting drug activity in back bedroom where kids slept at night= no responses.
Child trying to escape from balcony, hanging over concrete driveway, got no response, except by neighbors helping child to get down off balcony without crashing himself--but then what?? return him to the apartment??
Children outside in inadequate clothing for weather--no response.
Baby crawling away down sidewalk--repeatedly--no responses.
Last straw was, woman sheltering at our house, said "my boyfriend has been taking my welfare checks and food stamps, sometimes for his drug stuff".
I called Welfare and CPS, reported that statement, and they got there so fast, it was like they'd been visiting next door!
THEN, woman and her kids were removed to another city 60 miles away for safety, man evicted from apartment.
Anyone can contact Police [non-emergency #],
also APS, also State Attorney General offices,
to request copies of descriptions of what each department classes as "abuse" conditions =that they must respond and intervene= for.
When reporting, use that same language, so agents can recognize what they are supposed to be observing.
Officers can only report what they see/hear.
But a report must be generated when 911 is called--that is a paper trail, and, it eventually accumulates data trails that can substantiate things,
which can lead to a person being removed from the circumstances,
even if the single-observations are not enough or conclusive enough by themselves.
ALSO, these reports can lead to getting better, more usable information as to how a caregiver can get the elder better helped
--because often, the 1st person contacted is new at it, or badly informed, or simply overloaded.
...eventually, you find someone with more/better information, and get better results.
My mother just got discharged from a skilled nursing facility after we told them she was unable to vare for herself. She just had a colostomy bag pit on snd and is on physicatric drugs. We dont know what to do