I am the POA for my mother who was recently determined by a psychiatrist incapable of making decisions and requiring 24 hour care. I have since placed her in an ALF facility. The first week and a half was positive - she seemed to be happy and relieved to not have to "worry" about these things. Enter this week and I am presuming the reality has set in for her.
She is angry and adamant about asking for all her cards and checkbooks back. ((She is currently $7K in debt with two accounts in collections and only $20K in the bank - a lot of reckless spending when she was on her own)). Clearly, it's not in her best interest to do, especially given her social security barely covers the monthly ALF expense.
Out of curiosity, if she were to get her checks - would she even be able to sign them? I am on all her bank accounts now (thank god!) designated as her POA.
We all hope that the facilities that we have placed Mom have done good background checks. But like in all things, there are a few bad apples. This is one reason I would not give her checks or her CCs to her. Or money. Theft by an employee. I would have nothing of any value in her room. My Mom had nothing worth stealing in her room.
Tell her the AL does not allow residents to have checkbooks or CCs. Tell her u will bring them next time and hope she forgets you said it. If she does ask after that say "oops forgot them" Time for little white lies to satisfy her.
If you haven't already, freeze her credit cards. And yes, Mom could sign the checks and have them honored. Are you on Moms accts? Ask the bank if there was some way, because of the Dementia, you could stop any checks Mom may sign from being honored. Years ago my uncle was able to do this. He found someone was signing my Grandmother's checks (once in crayon). They gave my Uncle a pin# that he put under his signature. If not on the check, they didn't cash it. Seems Gma had a book of checks my Uncle missed when he took her banking stuff out of the house.
Your POA makes you Moms representative. As such, its your responsibility to protect what assets she has. If by doing that you don't allow her excess to her bank accts and charge cards, so be it.
(You may want to tell her that her cards have been canceled by the Credit Card Companies for non-payment. Not sure if she would understand that.)
The psychiatrist diagnosed her with a "neurocognitive disorder" - supported by displaying behavior that is borderline mania, pressured speech and flight of ideas. They would not release her without 24 hour care of which my husband and I are not able to provide and luckily, I was able to get her into an ALF that coincidentally is down the street from my home within a few days.
She seems to be more stable now on medication but I still notice the pressured speech, anger and confusion (i.e. She was yelling at me today that she has Medicaid - she doesn't- and that she couldn't be bothered with me and walked back into her room. Then, later texted me that I have no right to have her cards, etc.). But yet, she still remembers that she has been asking me for her check books!
I'm on all of checking accounts now but still waiting on the credit cards so i can get rid of them. My guess is that reality has set in and she is hating that her independence is being taken away.
I'm meeting with the head nurse tomorrow to discuss care plan as I need some help validating these things with her. I know it's my job to be the bad guy now but it doesn't make it any easier. I feel like I have two children! :/