I like my caregiver, however I do not like her bringing her children along at times. She has the 10yr. old daughter (which is o.k.), but a 6yr, or 7yr, old
boy, who touches everything on my coffee table. Sneaks into my office, I resent majorly. I do not want to hurt her feelings, but I do not know how to tell her to leave her children at home. If this keeps up, I will have to look for another caregiver. Help, Help.
Thanks
My layman's understanding of the law is that if you had the caregiver sign a waiver absolving you of responsibility if one of her children was hurt on your property or broke something, it would not stand up in a court of law if there was a suit. Perhaps another contributor who has a law background could answer this better.
Is the problem that she brings the children without having asked? Or, did she ask and you said yes?
Is the problem she brings her children? Or, is the problem the behavior of the younger boy?
Is the woman doing her job well?
How does your parent get along with the caregiver, and the kids?
Have you actually spoken to the caregiver? If not, why not?
What reasonable activities do you have for the child to do?
What reasonable alternatives does the caregiver have?
What reasonable alternatives do you have if not this caregiver?
Is this a liability concern for you? Or, an annoyance?
Your answers inform your options:
If this is a liability issue, the caregiver is not doing her job, or your parent is negatively impacted by the children, there is no discussion. Find a backup plan before you tell her she can't bring the kids.
If you don't have reasonable care options, the answer needs to be a negotiation of what can happen to improve the child's behavior given you need a caregiver.
All the other questions may lead to discussion, planning, boundary setting and creative thinking. But, you will have to have a discssion - something you might not have done, yet, if there are children in the house regularly without your permission.
Learning Lesson: be clear early on, before there is a problem.
The OP hasn't told us how she handled her caregiver situation because many of the responses were probably ones she didn't want to hear.
There were more than a few of us who told her not to be such a hard-a** to the caregiver and that she should count herself lucky that she has good help that her parent gets along with.
Sometimes people go away when you don't tell them what they want to hear.
I saw her respond at least a half dozen times in the beginning, so maybe she felt like she'd responded enough. Or maybe she's busy.
Why jump to the most negative conclusion possible? And why write it as if it's fact, instead of the speculation/assumption that it actually is?