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Taking care of my husband with several aides and still feel depressed. Nothing left in life.
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Go to NAMI.org to find local availability. Depression is common and not hopeless
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Reply to MACinCT
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Find a local caregiver support group preferably in person or Zoom if nothing else available, and make sure that when the aides are there that you're getting out doing things that bring you joy.
And of course if needed talk to your doctor about going on an anti-depressant as that may help too. There is life after caregiving and it can be as wonderful as you make it.
It may be time to think about having your husband placed in a memory care facility if his care is getting you so depressed. That way he will receive the 24/7 care he now requires and you can get back to just being his loving wife and not his burned out and depressed caregiver. Just some food for thought.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I’m so sorry to hear this.

I suggest finding some way to turn outward, which you already took a step toward by posting here.

This time of year (winter) can make it even more tough. Is it possible to take a little walk? Feel the sun and wind, hear the birds, maybe say hello to a neighbor?

Could you meet a friend for coffee? Visit a greenhouse or flower shop?

Is there an art exhibit or museum nearby you could spend half an hour at? Or a daytime concert at a local place? Do you have any younger family you could catch up with?

Are there community resources — a knitting group, book club, regular card game, crafts, lectures? Or try a new kind of food? Are there low-commitment volunteer activities near you? Idealist.org has dozens of options near me, including ones you can do from home.

Or look into caregiver support groups, either in person or online. There are many others going through similar things. This message board is a great resource, but talking directly is better still.

If your husband is in hospice, the hospice provider should be able to provide you with suggestions.

best wishes to you. There is life all around you, no matter how hopeless and locked in things appear. There is fresh air and I think it would help.

Having written all this, I know my own mother would say — did say— “no” to all of it. It struck me as so sad, but it was her choice.
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Reply to Suzy23
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I’m so sorry. 😞

I second the idea of getting out of the house while one of your aides is there. What did you like to do before caregiving? Would it be possible to find a way to do it again, even in a limited way?

Thinking of you.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Can you get out of the house while an aide is there and do something for yourself? I am recovering from 2 back to back surgeries and haven't been cleared to exercise yet. I had a routine in my life and am feeling very depressed to not yet be able to resume a schedule. They weren't major surgeries. Today was a particular bad day for me. I am prone to depression and anxiety. I can get out of the house but there is nowhere I want to go to. Places I went to before seem overwhelming to me not to mention the apathy I feel. I wish more than anything I could get back to a form of exercise. I love my house but not all day every day.

If there is something that brings you joy perhaps you could try to do that while you have help at home. It can be difficult to stay home day after day. I think I have about 1 more week of waiting left.

I hope you find a solution sooner rather than later.
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Reply to Riverdale
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