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I am an only child and a female. My dad has Alzheimer's and incontinence issues. I have him in strong adult diapers and portable leg/condom catheters but that doesn't help with sudden urges for #2. I don't want to keep him at home but want to get him out of the house. Male companions are not readily available and they are cost prohibitive for long or overnight trips. I had an incident recently where I needed to take him into the mens' bathroom and fortunately 1 man agreed to alert the other patrons but it was still very awkward for me -- any suggestions?

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Soulmate is right. I took my dad who had alzheimers/incontinence several times into women's restrooms. I just smiled at the women in there and most were very understanding. I put two adult diapers on him when we went out, an incontinence pad for the seat in the car, a bag with extra adult diapers, latex gloves, wet wipes and a change of pants/underwear. Trust me you get used to it after awhile. It is better when there is a family restroom but that's not always possible. It is great that you are getting your dad out and about. I would take my dad to his favorite restaurants, the movies and shopping (pushing him in the wheelchair the store provided or getting the motorized cart (early start of alzheimers).
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As women we're much more used to seeing a little boy in our bathroom. So if a woman came in and warned me that she was bringing in an adult male to use the bathroom, I'd know there had to be a logical reason. And since we all have stalls, and most of us just want to get the heck out of a public bathroom in the first place, I don't see a problem with bringing your dad/husband or whoever that has Alzheimer's with you. Go for it.
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Kltowson - you are to be commended for taking care of your dad and taking him out and about. I don't have the problem you have but I'm answering as being the typical woman in the ladies restroom when you come in with your dad. It wouldn't bother me one bit to have you bring him through to the accessible stall and you wouldn't even have to say a word. I believe that you walking in with an elderly man and escorting him to the restroom is basically understood by most of us as to what the situation is. It's understood and I find nothing wrong with this at all. And as soulmate above stated - when she did it, she just smiled at the other women in the restroom. (they knew the situation). I would however if a small child was there with their mother look at the mother and say "I have to take my daddy to the potty". This opens the door for the mom to explain to the child that it's an ok situation but to inform the child that if a man walked in alone to the ladies restroom it's not an okay situation. Just playing the "what if" game". I've also seen many men with their handicap wives and often wondered how they handle the bathroom situation as I know a lot of women, myself included, would be reluctant to take the women to the ladies room for fear of them falling or not knowing who I was. There are many caregivers out there going through your bathroom dilema. Since you are aware of not having enough "family type" restrooms, (and I agree there should be more of them) and since more and more family members are caring for their parents and ending up with your bathroom dilema maybe you could be an advocate and start speaking up in regards to having laws put in place that would make it mandatory for new construction to "add family bathroom facilities". Again, you are to be commended for your great caregiving to your dad! Good Luck & God Bless!
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My husband has younger-onset Alzheimer's. When he was still at home and able to get out with me, I carried a post-it note in my purse to put on the outside of the ladies' restroom door to let other women know that I had my husband with dementia in the restroom with me. Everyone was very understanding about it. As we left the restroom, I just took the post-it off the door and put it back in my purse for the next time.
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I would do the same as above stated. Don't worry about it. Take him to the women's restroom. You will feel the most awkward about the situation. There are stalls that give everyone privacy. This is your business no one elses. I give you a big hug for continuing to take your father places. So when you take your dad into the restroom hold your head high do not feel embarrassed. You are a wonderful daughter for taking such good care of dad.
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Would taking him into the women's room be easier, or would that really upset your dad? Since we're all in stalls in women's bathroom, I would think that might be easier than having to find a guy to guard the urinal area of a men's room. It wouldn't bother me if I were in the restroom and heard a woman say, "Ladies, I'm going to bring my father through to the accessible stall; please excuse us for a moment." But would that bother your dad? Bless you as you care for your dad and keep him out and about as long as he is able.
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Most ladies seem to understand. As a man, if you brought in your father into the men's room I'm sure that men might offer to help or would clear out to give you privacy. If you had to go into the men's room maybe ask a secutiry guard to help. Agre there whould be "family type rooms. I am in the reverse situation - I'm male and sole care for my mother who is in transport chair - some dementia and bri=oken hip/scoliosis so she can likely fall. . Its difficult to travel or go to the department store at Christmas which she would love to do. We've managed somehow. Once a woman helped her - a total stranger. I almost cried -there are angels out there. Any ideas how to push thtough such legislation. There will be mor eneed in the future for such bathrooms.
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When we are in a restaurant or a shopping mall, my mom and I always go to the men's bathroom with my dad. For one thing, the men's room is usually empty, so it's easier to manuever a wheelchair. We just take the wheelchair into the handicapped stall and close the door. I've never run into a situation where a man has said anything negative to me about being in the men's room, and we've been doing this for about 10 years. I always check before and after we enter the stall that there aren't any men in the urinal area. I always apologize for my presence if I encounter another man in the room. Even when my dad was able to slowly walk into the men's room himself and I waited outside, men often would size up the situation and offer to assist my dad if needed.

I can't imagine taking my dad into a women's room. He would not be comfortable with that, and I would be uncomfortable because of his discomfort. But every family's different.

My dad uses the heaviest of pads now, but when travelling in the big city we have occasionally used a day catheter. We also carry Little John disposable urinals in the car and a water-absorbant pad for the car seat.
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What if, as a husband, you need to take your ill wife to a restroom?
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Everything the others have posted are right on! I do believe it would be easier to use a female restroom than a male one! Women tend to be more understanding about circumstances & you can tell your father it is a unisex restroom so it does not upset him!
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