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I feel terrible for the one person in this scenario that we know nothing about: OP's husband. I don't know what his life was like before, but having the peace of his home shattered like this has got to be hell on Earth.

It appears that you are unable to stay centered and focused on the present, or you wouldn't need to ask this question. I don't know what kind of answers you are expecting to receive from this forum. You can't make anyone happy and these two seem determined not to be. Either get some counseling or change the living situation are the only solutions I can think of.
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