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My wife has determined to not take her meds when I offer them to her. Don't know what to do? So far she has missed her bedtime meds and this morning her thyroid pill.

It sounds like she is ready for memory care. Are you in an Independent Living apartment already or still at home? You might be able to find someplace that is a CCRC or has different levels of care. My mom’s IL also had AL and memory care, just in different adjacent buildings. This might work for you, with your wife in MC and you nearby in IL. You could still spend all day with her every day, but she would have extra caregivers and you could get uninterrupted sleep. I’m sorry, this must be so hard! I would also consult with her PCP to see what meds can just be dropped and if a hospice evaluation makes sense now that she is also barely eating.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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Ask her doctor if there are equivalent medications available in liquid form, and put in a smoothie, yogurt or applesauce.

I agree with Geaton, it could be the way or time that you are offering medications. Try changing it to a time when she's more agreeable, and don't ask, just give the medication.
My husband says "no" to every question. When nurses or caregivers come in to see him, they are in the habit of asking if they can do whatever it is they need to do. I tell them, if you ask, the answer is always "no". And once refused, then he will stubbornly dig in his heels. I tell them don't ask, just do it, and tell him what you're doing.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Some meds you can get as patches.

Some meds can be crushed.
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Reply to brandee
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Ask the doctor for a hospice evaluation for her.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Ask the doctor for a hospice evaluation for her.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Some of the meds can't be taken with food. Some are at bedtime and others can't be crushed. Even if I could put them in food, she doesn't eat much of the time, just plays with the food, moving it around the plate and table. Sometimes she gets down right mean, like sundowning on steroids'. Walking is becoming difficult because she tries to open other apartment doors. I really need a strong dose of grace and compassion to survive this. Don't know how we would afford to go to assisted living and if they even have units were we could be together.
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Reply to DaddyDear
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Medicines that can be crushed can be offered in a spoon of pudding, flavored yogurt, whipped cream, or chocolate syrup,
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Reply to Fawnby
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As others have said you are going to have to get creative.
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Reply to JustAnon
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What meds is she taking? My Mom was able to go off her thyroid med when her numbers had stabilized for a while. Dr. recommended labs every six months.

How old is your wife? Cholesterol meds can be dropped. Long use effects the liver as do some Thyroid meds. If its Dementia meds, I would not worry about them. They stop being effective after a point. Talk to the doctor prescribing her meds.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Suzy23 Jun 15, 2026
If it’s meds to tamp down difficult dementia related behaviors such as aggression, dangerous obsessions, insomnia causing night wandering or mischief — they really are needed for her own safety and that of those around her.
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Some medications can be crushed. Some are available as a liquid that is easier and sometimes safer to put into food. Some are available as a patch that is placed on the body in an area where she might not be able to reach to remove it.
In some cases though if the medication is not "necessary" they can be eliminated. (I know all doctors will say the medication is necessary but is it simply extending life that is not a quality life or is it preventing pain or death? I hope that makes sense)
Talk to her doctor(s) and see what can be eliminated, see what can be crushed and mixed into food.
But do let her doctors know what medications she is missing, keep a log of when she misses them. When lab tests are done this information should be given so that results of any tests make sense.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Check with her pharmacy which of her pills can be crushed and put in either applesauce or pudding unbeknownst to her, and also which ones can be in liquid form. That should make it much easier for you and your wife.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Talk to the pharmacist to see if the meds come in another form, like a patch. liquid or crushable form.

What is your pill routine like? Do you ask her if she wants to take the pills or do you casually say, "Time for your vitamins" ?

Bedtime refusal could be due to sundowning.

Or, refusal could be sign of another issue she can't express, like a dental problem, new swallowing difficulty, fear/paranoia (which is a common dementia behavior).

Other than for thyroid, what is she taking?
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Reply to Geaton777
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