Do I need overnight care for mom?

The nursing home is absolutely correct. There will be a high risk, near certainty, of eventual skin issues without a regular check. There is no diaper that will substitute for it. But ask the question and you'll get misinformation all over the place like bladders can hold urine for 8 hrs, so and so gramma slept in urine and had no skin problems, 2 hrs is extreme (it isn't), limit fluids (worst idea ever), etc. We're talking old people here. Get a grip. Prevention is far easier than treatment.

Susiq is correct. A suprapubic catheter is much safer than a regular urinary catheter, but it requires a surgical (small) incision which must be done by the physician. It requires regular simple cleansing where the tube enters the bladder. A regular urinary catheter can be inserted, or reinserted, by a nurse, but is an absolute invitation to infection, never recommended for long-term use!

In my experience of nursing homes, I would say it's very unlikely they are changing her every two hours. These places are short on staff, constantly have staff quitting and starting, and the overnight staff are not very well supervised.

The quilted absorbent under-pad definitely (if that is the question) not "illegal" (used in Colorado). In fact, research shows this is safer than diapers that hold urine next to the skin. Of course, the oftener checks are made during the night, the better. PLASTIC lined under-pad definitely NOT as safe, since they do not allow moisture to evaporate.

Elderly skin is quite thin and fragile. Prolonged moisture against the skin leads to skin breakdown. Thus the need for frequent checks/changes of either diapers or under-pads. Normal urine (contrary to popular belief) is essentially bacteria free. But broken skin provides an opening for any kind of harmful bacteria to enter and cause infection.

For my mother, we have been using mostly Always Discreet Incontinence briefs, MAX strength, but at night staff adds a pad, generally used the WM Incontinence Pads for Women, Maximum, Long (the only deviation was during the time when everything was OUT OF STOCK - took what we could get!)

In general, these work. Initially when mom moved to MC, she was mobile, able to do most self-care, including toileting. The accidents she had were usually because she couldn't get her pants off fast enough. We decided eventually to take all undies and replace them with briefs. The pads came a bit later (she's 97, finishing up year 4 at MC.)

More recently they've asked me to bring in more of the pads, as she wants to change the briefs if she just dribbled a little into it during the day. I'd been buying/delivering the disposable bed pads, but they asked me to get the reusable ones.

That said, I see in your profile that one of your mother's conditions listed are UTIs. There have been times, usually when mom gets a UTI, that she will SOAK the bed at night - sheets, night garments, everything! They prep and toilet her before bed. One month there were charges for FOURTEEN extra loads of laundry. Even between UTIs, there have been 2-4 or more extra charges/month for laundry. These are charges IN ADDITION to the regular TWO loads/week included in the monthly fee. She's no longer mobile, but not bed-bound. She spends the day in a wheelchair (only about 1 year now) and is either on a schedule for toileting or she asks. It's not like she's rolling in the mud, therefore needing extra laundry done. The first UTI/bed wetting happened BEFORE she was using a wheelchair (rollator only then.)

Unless another product(s) suggested by others can handle 9 hours overnight (9-6), or you can try to change her once/night, be prepared to be doing a lot of extra laundry. I wish you all the best, but it isn't something I would take on! Even though I took early retirement after lay-off, and haven't been working, I still wouldn't take on such a huge challenge! My mother isn't even NH yet - just MC. She weighs too much for me to assist, never mind lift, can't do stairs to get in/out, can't handicap my bathrooms, so it was a no go. She's in a VERY nice place, staff is great and she is better cared for there than I could ever think of doing!

Working full time, even with someone watching over/caring for her 7 hr/day, is going to be difficult, as there will be interruptions, unplanned for. Others have pointed out the parts of the iceberg that might lurk under the surface already, so I'm not going to repeat it, but if it all works out for you, great. Better you than me!

Unless your mother is totally incontinent, it isn't likely she needs changing every 2 hours, but changing and checking are not the same. Checking maybe means checking her briefs, changing them if needed, changing her position, making sure all is well. Do they do this in the NH? Who knows. Unless you are there overnight (they could change their routine if they are aware someone is watching!) how would you know? I should think every resident should have a check multiple times/night - it might be cursory, but at least sensible. Anything can happen, so it's best they do check on everyone several times/night.

I would used the barrier lotions to help keep liquid from skin. Then use the diapers with an added incontinence pad (they are wider at the back side where liquid is going to go if she lays on her back).

You can also cut the fluids off early in the evening before putting her to bed, just like you do for kids.

Is it possible mom was put into a diaper to make it easier for the nursing home? Pretty common to do that. Just wondered if she is able to move around at all. Perhaps a bed side toilet and incontinence pads if she can do this for herself.

Yes you do my dear especially if you work during the day. Your work and family life will suffer if you have to wake up every now and then to check on her .There is this lady that I used for my mother .if you ant to consider it. Her contact 5403948257.Good luck with your mom