My aunt was diagnosed with early stage 5 dementia a couple of months ago. She has good and bad days. Lately, she's been focusing her time on a teddy bear that she thinks is her daughter -- sleeps, cares, and talks to it. I have used this forum as a resource for everything behavioral and I've read quite a few posts that says it's good for them and gives them purpose which it has... However, there's been a couple of times where she would cry and say her baby isn't breathing and has died. I don't really know what to do... I don't want to ignore it, but also don't know how to address it. Do I take the teddy bear away or continue to let her care for it? Her mood changes day by day -- one day, the teddy died and the next, it's sleeping with her and gives her joy. I would appreciate your input.
My grannie loved her baby doll and we always put her down for her nap so we could cruise around the NH and visit. We bought new clothes, changed her diaper when it got saggy from to much loving and made a fuss about how big she was getting, just like a real baby. It worked and grannie was satisfied that all was well when we went cruising.
I think it's quite sweet to see, and it does no one any harm.
Perhaps next time she says that it has died, you can just go along with things and tell her that you will try giving it mouth to mouth, or that you will take it to the doctor.
Bless you for looking after your aunt.
up there and are close so she can hold them and talk to them. They make her smile and laugh. She often says ‘ Have you seen this? His big eyes are so funny.’ ( i pretend they are new to me even tho i brought them awhle back) So very thankful her level of dementia has made her childlike and happy alot with simple things like toys, ice cream, hersey kisses and bananas.
Pretend calm concern and put your head on teddy's chest. Tell her it's not dead but instead in a non-lethal coma which is good for neurological repair.
Wrap teddy's head with a short ace bandage and in a whisper tell her that it was a good thing she discovered the situation in time. You could ask her if she thinks a blanket may be helpful.
After awhile, take off the bandage, and let her rewind it, or just take it off when she's not looking and stash it for the next time.
I don't have the exact same experience but depending on the day I've told my husband brief eye-crossing whoppers just to take his worries away.
I hate, hate doing that. It's very uncomfortable, but if it works what the heck. It soothes bad situations and saves time and nerves.
G-d how I miss adult interaction.
When she is, are you able to console her? You could try developing the conversation to explore what else might be involved in these thoughts and feelings, but dig gently!
Grandma1954 has another good idea, but she may still prefer her teddy bear. If she does have times when she cries over the bear and what she imagines it is only to provide her comfort, to tell her you are sorry, ask her if there is anything you can do, comfort her.
Do know that for her this is very real. Taking it away would likely be very painful for her. It was the opinion of Oliver Sack who lifelong studied the mind, that their worlds are very real, just so different and alien from our own that we can't understand that. So our deficits are perhaps as severe as hers? Many things are beyond explanation and understanding. This is but one of them.
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