I'm at the place where I'd like a therapist now, but afraid to go. (Feel a general distrust for them). May I ask about your experiences? Also, isn't it possible that any therapist could be a crazy bast#ard himself? Sorry...may be going off the "deep end"...(as dad would say). The more details the better...hate to be nosey...but info helps me feel less anxious. I'm sorry that I can't answer every responder this time ...lots of fatigue lately too. Uuggh. Thanks in advance tho.
I like a social worker in general (as opposed to a psychologist) because they’ve usually had a LOT of practical experience with a variety of clients, and as a whole, they seem more like “regular people” to me, which I find easier to relate to. My best therapists were all women who were usually positive and energetic unless there was a (very rare) crisis and they were able to gently meet me at my own level. I don’t know whether that makes a difference. I just feel like it’s harder to BS another woman, which keeps me honest. If I was not in crisis, but just spinning my wheels in daily life, I was kind of energized by a more upbeat therapist.
A Social Worker is not a therapist. They are people trained to find resources to help people who need help. I find the don't look out of the box. They tend to stay within the rules. I would never use one for therapy.
As others have described there are some stinkers in the therapy field as there are in other fields.
Personally I have had both male and female therapists. I currently work with a woman on an as needed basis. I had 2 years of intensive therapy with her and ‘check in’ as needed when a stressful situation comes up.
If I went by first impressions, I met her several years before I needed therapy, I may not have asked for her help. When I needed therapy, I was in a major crisis on several fronts and she was the first person I called.
What were my first impressions? Now keep in mind this was strictly based on looks and knowing she did art therapy as part of her practice... I thought she was some artsy fartsy, hippy dippy chick. I could not have been more wrong.
She is completely grounded, compassionate, works hard for her clients and made me do the hard work I was terrified to tackle.
I never felt judged, felt fully supported, but also was gently pushed forward.
I do not know what health condition you have that will preclude working. I hope it will allow you to participate in your community, make new friends and enjoy your future.
(& how do i pay? That's the rough part). Once she gets a load of this mess...I may have to move in..lol.
But hey! You emailed someone! Go gettem, Tiger!
BUT: I have had positive experiences as well. Primarily with a psychologist. If meds are needed they can usually collaborate with a primary care MD. I have found psychologists to be more compassionate and real world type.
Clinical social workers can be good as well. In the end your comfort is the priority. Do not be afraid to go, or afraid to say you're not the one, I'm moving on, thanks but no thanks.
In the end you are probably looking for a less involved, more objective ear, someone focused on caring about you and your well-being, someone you can depend on to be in your corner. My guess is you will find the credentials matter far less than the person and their empathy and compassion. Wishing you all the best on the journey. PS...Many years back....after the therapist dumped me, the film What About Bob came out. I thought it was hysterical...and in my case not so far an exageration of the character I was dealing with. I not only saw the movie several times, I bought the DVD and didn't at the time even have a DVD player. No matter what, just remember, you're the one in control:-) Sending hugs and wishing you the best...
Thanks.
Hugs.
4 or 5 therapists over the last 25 years. Finally landed on a lovely, mid-30's LCSW who clicked with me. She is very in tune with me and that is the key. I have told her things that I could not share with any psych doc. Part of why I care for her is because her training seems more well rounded. My BIL is a psychologist and total a-hat. He believes himself to be better and smarter than all the rest of us...and yeah, he's had a little more education, but it didn't make him a nicer person.
In fact, my DH desperately needs a QUALITY therapist to talk out a lot of issues with, but b/c of the jerk his brother is, he is leery of going to someone. He thinks ALL psych docs are like his brother.
You might find one right away that you can work with, or you might have to find the right fit.
I had a wonderful therapist. I saw him,my DH, and several people to whom I referred him. I'm stronger, wiser, no longer a doormat, but not afraid to be compassionate.
Wishing you all the best in your journey to find help. I hope that you find peace in your life.
Anxiety once virtually ruled my life. It manifested as panic and the "where's the bathroom" drill, making me afraid to move out and on with life. I would say after two therapists and a lot of years of life I simply got SICK of it. I was in a grocery store one day, cart full, and it hit and I got the usual feeling of draining dread, thought "I have to leave I have to leave I have to leave or I will pass out and soil myself" and suddenly I thought "Leave AGAIN???? Come back and regather all the stuff AGAIN??" And I thought, "Nope. I am staying. If I collapse and soil myself I will say "sorry. Panic attack". '
After that it began to let go a bit. I won't say that personalities such as ours, which buy into fight or flight, won't melt down periodically. We WILL. It's life for us.
Therapists are so individual. I know one who told my friend "You will be in therapy all your life" and I said "what that says to me is that you are one very sick individual or HE is one bad therapist."
For me I need one without platitudes I think, one who will make me think, make me work, disturb me, stop my stirring things in the same direction endlessly. I think social workers are great for life change stuff. Dealing with birth and death and caregiving and illness. Psychologists better for more out of the box stuff perhaps but wow, do they ever vary. Usually one meeting will let you know if this person might be right for you. I don't do magical thinking and the "why not try lavender oil" school of thought. I do well with someone who says "OK, you have been doing this some time. Here's an exercise I want you to try next time you have this...." Or says "OK, I heard that story. I don't want to hear about your Mom (husband, son....whomever) again for a while. I want to hear about YOU". Yes, it makes one uncomfortable. Makes one work. For me that is good. For someone else it might be devastating.
So it's like flavors of ice cream. Try a few and see who you like best. Try to know when someone just isn't for you versus when you hit that "I am scared and I want to cut and run again" thing.
Good luck. All this said, not sure there is a right or good answer.
You are grieving. Yours is a grief with complications. And sometimes there is NOTHING to be done but time. I hope help helps.
Suidical and depressed after kid number 2 was born, I ended up in the office a well-trained female psychiatrist who got me from point A (wanting to kill myself and my babies) to a bit more stable. She was a lovely person and probably could have helped me if I'd stuck with her, but I just couldn't relate or relax. Being able to relax in therapy is huge.
She got me on course to lose some weight and to finish my undergrad degree.
After kid 3, teaching preschool and dreadfully unhappy in marriage and life, DH and I sought out a therapist. Greenwich Village, nice guy, had a bad back; he lay on the couch while we talked. He tossed my DH out after 3 sessions and kept me in individual therapy. DH assumed this was because I was the "sick" one. In reality, it was because DH has/had a personality disorder that can't be fixed. It was in this course of therapy that I realized that I needed to go to grad school.
So score one for this guy.
Fast forward; beginning of grad school and a real life crisis that I won't go into but I was yet again at the point of self destruction. My OB-GYN got me a referral to a therapist of the sort I said I would NEVER see--an older, NY Psychoanalytic Institute trained Jewish (I'm Jewish) guy 20 years older than I. After a couple of weeks of antagonizing him, we clicked over the fact that we were both accomplished amateur musicians. There was a shorthand that we had in music that made the therapy easier.
It's not so much about the discipline as it is about the relationship. That takes some time to develop. Go see someone. Talk about why what THEY are doing isn't working.
Resistance is a big part of the process.