My 83 year old mother shows overwhelming favortism to my youngest brother, she screams at me when he is around and he screams at me as well. We grew up in a dysfunctional home and it is still dysfunctional. I recently moved back in my Mom's home but it only lasted a couple of weeks. My Mom still takes care of herself and my brother as well. I'm having a mental issue with the favortism, I do not know how to deal with the issue and it makes my heart bleed that I can not communicate my feelings with her or my brother. This has been going on every since I can remember I do not remember my childhood around 12 years old until now at 59 years old it has always been this way however now she and my brother has become violent and My mother says it's my fault. I need advise and help I don't know what to do.
Why you would have moved back in with your mother to begin with is beyond me.
For your own mental health's sake, please stay away from both of them and get yourself into some much needed therapy.
You at this point in your life owe your mother and brother NOTHING, and neither will ever change, so quit holding out hope. Time to be realistic and know that the only person you can change is yourself, so start today by cutting your ties from your dysfunctional family and move forward towards a more healthy you and life.
I will leave you with one of my very favorite sayings....."Never be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence."
Unfortunately my sisters’ relationship fell apart several years ago and I don’t think they will reconcile. They will not be in the same room together and will not talk to each other. and I act as the go between. I feel stupid enabling this behavior but there needs to be some communication between the three of us about our parents.
I blame my mother for a lot of the hard feelings and bitterness they have for each other. It’s a sad situation. I am going through the motions to fulfill what I believe are my obligations to my parents but I just don’t feel much for my mother anymore. Dealing with her in her old age has opened my eyes to who she is and it is not pretty.
Your profile says you care for 92 yo Elbie. ???
You say Mom is 83 and takes care of herself and the family is dysfuctional , she shows favoritism for your brother since you were a child and now she and your brother are violent .
I am happy that you left her home .
Stay away and seek help from a therapist for your mental health. You can start by getting a check up from your PCP . Maybe they can recommend a therapist .
Favortism can happen at any age .
Stay away from abusive family . You can learn to live a better life without them.
Good luck .