First of all my mom has a POA (the older of my 2 sisters) that she put in place when she made her will approximately 25 years ago after my dad passed away. My younger sister recently decided that she should be POA because she lived closer to mom and tried to have my other sister step down. My older sister did not step down at my mom's request so the younger sister made arrangements to meet with an attorney and have my mom sign to make her POA in 2019. The original POA has not been revoked because my mom refused to do so.
According to my sister who emphatically encouraged my mom to make her POA, my mom has been diagnosed with mild dementia and can no longer make sound decisions about her finances or her health. Mom is 86 years old and does have some short term memory loss and we all agree she is likely not safe to live alone but she is still quite independent with personal care and keeping her place tidy and clean. In addition you can have a nice conversation with her, she may have trouble with recent events but her long term memory is very accurate.
I am one of 8 kids and all of my siblings have said they either do not want to care for mom or that they are not in a position to have her with them. My wife who is a RN of 27 years and a certified Geriatric Care Manager and I would love to welcome her into our home and mom has said she would like that. However my younger sister has decided that she is safer and has more independence in the assisted living. My sister has done some research and has decided that mom has sundowners, Alzheimers and severe cognitive decline though she has not ever been diagnosed as such. She has somehow convinced 3 of our other siblings that mom is better off in a facility, safer from covid-19 and more independent.
The Assisted living (in Georgia) now allows visitors by appointment 3 days during the week between 10:00am -3:45pm for 10-15 minutes on the porch with social distancing. My sister has set things up so that she has to approve and arrange for all of our moms visits. I work and live in Florida and have other siblings in 2 other states, so these very restrictive times make it difficult for any of us to see my mom.
When I speak to mom she tells me that she spends most of her time in her room watching TV and the clock and that she for some time now takes all of her meals alone served on styrofoam dishes. She has said that she doesn't know how long she can continue to live like this and sometimes wishes that she could go to sleep and not wake up.
My older sister who was originally assigned as POA feels that mom would do better if she were with family but the younger sister is adamant that she should stay in assisted living and says she is now POA and the decision rests with her.
I am so concerned about my moms health and cognitive ability declining as a result of her loneliness and solitude, is there some way I could have her come live with us?
Assuming there is a POA In effect your need to check the language on how and when the POA takes effect and exactly what power is given to the assignee.
Is mom capable of knowing what’s best for her? At 85 my mom was still somewhat “With It” but she had no executive reasoning. She saw no problem in having a dozen falls per week. Dad can pick me up. We’re fine!
I understand your concern but know that mom might not be any happier in your house. That’s a lot of fighting fussing and moving to end up right we’re you are now in terms of her happiness and well being.
If that hasn't been done the sister purporting to act under the second document has no authority to do so. And her decisions could be questioned as invalid; that would include execution of any placement documents for your mother.
Mom needs to be examined by a medical professional (as well as an attorney if/when the (a) first document is invalidated and superceded, or (b) the second document is acknowledged in writing to be invalid and of no force and effect). If she can demonstrate she understands the implications of these issues, and from your description it seems as if she does, she can have an attorney invalidate the second document (assuming that's what she wants).
Family friction is probably not going to resolve itself, but at least the more dominating sister who's apparently controlling the situation now would be eliminated from making decisions (although I suspect she'll try other methods).
You don't mention funding: are your mother's assets sufficient to keep her in AL indefinitely? Does your mother want to do this?
If you go through with the rescission of the invalid document, you might also raise the issue of family friction with the attorney, and also discuss your plans to bring your mother home, including how to keep the dominant sister from interfering.
Good luck; I hope you can work out something that's much better for your mother.