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You're right, they are making poor decisions. Unfortuneatly your trying to convince them otherwise won't work. They think they're still 35. One thing that may help is to change all the lights to LEDs. There will be no reason to change a burned out light, the lamps will outlive them both. Your dad reminds me of mine. He was pretty much a tightwad and wouldn't pay for anything that he thought he could do.

Driving is especially a problem. It sounds like they both still have all their faculties and are functioning pretty well. However, age alone reduces one's reaction time, judgment and visual perception. Does the AL facility provide transportation for its residents? You might want to try to sell them on utilizing the facility's transportation as much as possible.
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XenaJada Dec 2020
They are not in assisted living. They live in their own house out in a rural area. 2 years ago my siblings took them around to visit some assisted living facilities, just to have some things in mind. My parents willingly went to do this, but the thought in my mom's head was nothing beyond "this is an activity to enjoy with my kids. I have no intention of EVER moving out of my house!"
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My first response after reading what you wrote was "good for them". They are living their life the way they want to and doing what they want. In the big picture of things, their time here on this earth is limited anyway at their ages, so why not just let them enjoy what little time they have left. I know that if God willing I live to be their ages, I am not going to take kindly to someone trying to tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing. Be grateful that they're not like a lot of elderly(and nonelderly) folk that are living their lives in fear over this Covid crap, and refusing to ever leave their homes. That to me is much more dangerous than any virus.

And don't worry, a crisis will probably eventually happen that will force a change in the way things are now, but in the meantime, let your parents live and enjoy their lives.
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mellenmarshall Dec 2020
"In fear over this Covid crap"--what are you even talking about? People should be afraid. It is well-known that older people are especially at high risk of contracting (and thus potentially spreading) Covid-19. And no, staying home is NOT more dangerous than the virus. Why not refrain from endorsing irresponsible behavior? Not really all that helpful in the midst of a global pandemic.
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A wise social worker friend told me years ago “events will happen that will make the decisions for you” I had to wait a very long time for the events, but they are inevitable. People age, their bodies and capabilities decline, and rotten things happen. My dad had end stage CHF for years. He wasn’t about to change his diet to accommodate it, he’d much prefer to make jokes and laugh it off, and in truth, who am I to say he was wrong? Your parents will have things happen, falls are coming, and at some point they’ll be forced to make changes. The only thing you need to get forceful about is driving, have their doctor evaluate that and make a recommendation. I wish you well, it’s not fun watching the decline and questionable decision making
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XenaJada Dec 2020
They have multiple family members who are medical professionals who all say let them eat what they want and do what they want because they are past 80.

The problem with this is that falling off a ladder and breaking a hip will then cause a burden on the family members who have to take care of her.

Continuing to eat lots of salt and not take his water pills will result in a hospital stay weakness and inability to get around which will then burden family members who have to take care of him.

I recall my grandmother refusing to use her quad cane and dragging it behind her like a dog on a leash. she was dragging out the day she stumbled over a speed bump in a parking lot and busted her kneecap! This fall resulted in a burden on my mother who had to take care of her all because she refused to use her quad cane.
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