My mother and father-in-law are both in assisted living with severe Dementia. My husband’s sister is DPOA and does all financial and medical appts. We have decided to move out of state. She is bitter and mad about move. Both parents are on Hospice services, we all live in same town but now have decided to move 12 hours away because of our advancing age and our lease is ending. We do nothing in regards to their care but visit once per week in their room. There is also a history of abuse with my husband in his early years of life. His sister is nine years younger. Any suggestions. I am 64 and hubby is 72. His parents are 93 and 94.
On hospice means no doctor appointments, hospice orders medication and most supplies ( everything from hospital bed to depends and gloves). They send a shower aid, social worker, religious person as well as weekly assessments by a nurse. This is in addition to the care given at the facility. (My Mom, 95, blind and very hard of hearing, deep in her final battle with Alzheimer's, has lived in memory care for 3 years. She WAS on hospice for 2 years but just graduated off last month, now I am back to doing those things, but daily caregiving is done by the facility) for 15 months I was not even allowed inside, what was SIL doing in the way of caregiving during the shutdown? How did you visit weekly? On a tablet or thru a window? You can still do a virtual visit. If you are feeling bad about moving, ask what chore you could do to help, ie. Manage the monthly bills, communicate with the hospice nurse following the weekly visits? My siblings live far away, they split the cost of twice a month house cleaning for ME to support my role as primary caregiver. I told Mom long ago, it is a responsibility, but not a burden; that was her concern. Move when your lease is up, go enjoy your retirement, honor your Mother and Father, but do not give up your life for them, they would not want you to.