I have a lot support and still feel very alone!! I love my husband very much and know his illness isn't his fault. Our sons, their families and our church family are very supportive but I am feeling like my whole life is consumed with his illness. Trying to pray, lean on God and others but it's just so hard....not sure anyone understands how I feel.
program. You will burn out fast if you don't set up a routine which works for both of you.
Good luck.
He sits and gags on every bite..he is sched for an endoscopy but not for another month...do not think you have it bad 'cause dealing with all these med issues he constantly falls because of high blood sugars...I am wanting hin to go into a nursing home but we are only on ss w small pension he wasted his full retirement on lottery tickets. .35, 000. Gone down the drain or shd I say to the lottery commission and I w not hive up my only ss income to a nursing home. Its a vicious circle.....cannot buy a life ins policy over 25, 000 since nursing homes take anything over that amt since that is an asset and they take that to pay for him to be a patient. ..its...hell. nothing but h*ll
Yes, there are always worse situations than the one you're in (be it caregiving or anything else), and counting our blessings is most definitely a helpful practice - BUT admonishments to do so shouldn't be the response to yours or anyone's post here. [I tried to scan most of the responses, and I do see at least one other person who spelled that out - thanks, BoomerOnHold! Others alluded to it as well by noting the importance of knowing that your feelings are validated - kudos to all of you, too.]
That said, I don't think even the folks who did do that (tell you that you should be grateful) meant to be as cold or unsupportive as they may have sounded. Most everyone here can empathize, sympathize, and understand what you are experiencing on some level and I do believe they try to be helpful in the best way they know how. It all comes from the heart, but it is also usually off the cuff. You take what you can use here and filter out the rest.
Again, this gig IS overwhelming AND lonely, no matter your personal circumstances, including the size or helpfulness (or lack thereof) of your support system. And this site is a part of that support system. I hope you have been encouraged by it. Hugs and prayers for you!
It is so difficult to worry constantly whether your loved one has fallen, etc. at home with no one there. But we can't be in two places at once.
I would say if you are worried to that extent about your person being alone then they should NOT be alone. This society is not arranged for people who cannot afford help at home unless they are destitute; then Medicaid steps in with a little help, and that is not enough. Sad situation.
I call this "caregiver numbness." It's a common response to the intensity of the caregiver experience - and not that different from being "shell shocked" in battle. I do think it's a defense mechanism that allows us some self-preservation - otherwise we would be unable to cope with what we needed to do. Nobody should ever feel guilty about the "numbness" because it allows us to survive.
I can still cope with the extra work and all the decisions which have to be made
but the emotional side is really hurtful! It's got to the stage where he is just taking me for granted never acknowledges my tiredness or appreciates my efforts. I feel so lonely, even though I have two wonderful sons who try and help as much as they can but I cannot talk to them because all they see is their Father's illness. It's all about him and my husband is all about himself! I tell myself that I am feeling sorry for myself and I wake up every morning wanting/trying not to let things get to me but my nerves are shattered because he sighs and cries out morning and night! I am averaging 3/4 hours sleep a night! I still love my husband, we have been married 49 years but to wake up and have one day like it use to be would be wonderful!