Our Mom always said no to the flu shot. Don't know why but She never did for years. She even had that horrible Hong Kong flu and was out for days. She still talks and walks and knows me. Who am I to decide? Darn D.P.O.A. I have signed a do not resuscitate order already. Why prolong this awful dementia? Thoughts? So conflicted.
Please remember you can have the flu and not feel any symptoms until days later.... by then, you had already infected everyone around you who hasn't had the flu shot. I would hate to have been the one who made an elder deathly sick from the flu, or even a grandchild who didn't have his/her flu shot.
One thing I noticed with my parents, who lived to their mid-to-late 90's, they had been getting their flu shot every year for over 40 years. And for several decades did they volunteer work at a regional hospital 3 times a week. Not once did either parent ever had as much as the sniffles all those years.
I also do volunteer work at the same hospital, and I remembered back in the 2017-2018 flu season, the hospital had to set up beds and hospital recliners in the hallways for patients because there weren't enough rooms to handle everyone :(
It is an unfortunate fact that influenza spreads easily, and especially amongst unvaccinated people, and even more so in care facilities, where monitoring 'handwashing' of residents with dementia is just not a feasible reality.
To Debbie's question however, this is a tough decision for you to make. In her cognitive prime, your mother did not choose vaccination. Perhaps at that time she was able to use other methods to avoid infection, e.g., complementary and alternative medicine. But these would likely no long be available for her to choose.
You could consider making the decision based upon your mother's historical preference and circumstances, or you could make a choice based upon the best advice you can gather - that will take account of her risk of infection in a care facility (higher) and also the risk of her infecting others' loved ones in the facility if she does become ill (higher).
And we all need to remember that having a flu shot is no guarantee of avoiding the dreaded lurge.
I wish Debbie all the best in weighing the pros and cons, and you will make the best decision you can in choosing for your mother.